Dropping/reducing feeds - and cows' milk or formula after 1?

[fleacircus]

DD is 9.5mths, BF and eating solids, drinks water with meals. I work 4 days a week, was sending her to CM with 8oz (2 x 4oz bottles) EBM a day but a few weeks ago dropped this down to 4oz a day - after checking with HV - as I was finding it a struggle to keep up with the expressing at work.

I'm now finding that even getting 4oz while I'm at work is tricky. HV had said it would be ok for her not to have any BM during the days when I'm away from her and I think I'm planning to do this after half term, by which time she'll be 10mths. SO my question is: should I also reduce her BF when I'm with her, so it's consistent, or should I carry on as I am? Usually when I'm with her I feed her once in the morning and once in the afternoon as well as the three feeds she gets (plus usually one at night) on my work days.

Also, I was planning to keep BF until she's one and then move her onto cow's milk during the day and just keep the morning and night time breast feeds. But is there any reason why I should in fact give her formula instead of the cow's milk? Was also planning to use a cup rather than a bottle, is that likely to be a problem? She's fine with a cup for water.

Sorry, that's turned into a much bigger post than I'd intended!

[hobnob57]

I'm trying to remember what we did. My dd had to have formula when I was at work (she was dairy intolerant and expressing was not practical for me). I sent 2x5oz cups with her to the CM but she rarely drank much of it. She grew to like it eventually....

I BF her in the morning and after work and at bedtime and a dream feed to try and keep her milk intake high. I think I gave up the dream feed at 10 mths and then stopped BF at 13 mths when she'd cottoned on to the formula thing (for you this would be cow's milk). She never had the 20oz a day they recommend, but her gastro consultant gave me calcium and vitamin drops which eased the worry considerably.

No need for the formula as far as I know. And cups are a much better idea if they'll use them.

[fleacircus]

Good, would prefer to go straight to cow's milk in a cup if possible just to save the faff. At the moment I'm BF first thing, when we get home from CM, then before bed and she usually wakes up at least once.

Just wondering really about the consistency; if I also drop the feeds when I'm with her is she less likely to miss them when I'm not? Or is she going to be fine adapting to different situations - lots of BM while I'm there, none when I'm not. Can't seem to decide what's best and so will probably end up carrying on expressing at work even though it's tipping me over the edge, frankly.

[hobnob57]

I'm astounded at myself at how much I've forgotten about this stressful time... and it was only a year ago!

I really think the answer is to do what suits you best. I've a feeling I still BF at weekends but I've also got vague memories of battling with her and the bottle and thanking God that it was usually the CM's battle and not mine! Cutting down on BF is an emotional decision, although it's sometimes an energy-saving one too. see how it goes and how you feel and how you LO responds to cow's milk.

When the time comes to give up altogether I was dreading how bedtime would pan out. It honestly only took a few 'no milk from mummy tonight's before she stopped looking for it and took some from the cup instead.

[fleacircus]

That's something else I'm worried about, I do usually feed her to sleep (another reason I'm reluctant to give up the morning and afternoon feeds when I am with her). She is able to go to sleep by herself though, so hopefully it will be less of a problem than I'd anticipated. Will probably keep the bedtime feed for a while yet, although I'm hoping to get pregnant again fairly soon so not sure it that might make a difference.

[hobnob57]

Honestly, the wee ones are far more adaptable than we give them credit for. They just need to be introduced to the new 'normal' and be reminded of it and then it really is normal. Consistency's the key. I couldn't believe I was stressing over nothing... and actually took it as quite an insult that my DD didn't kick up more of a fuss about stopping BF!