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Help me please! IM DESPERATE TO STOP BREASTFEEDING!

(20 Posts)
LazySleepy Fri 17-Oct-08 22:51:40

Hi,
I have a DD who is 6.5 mo, I have been EBF her and have been trying to wean her off the breast since 6 weeks. She will take the bottle but only upto 4 oz a time usually between 2-3 oz. Over 6 weeks I have managed to cut her feeds down only to night feeds only in the last 3 days which corresponds with when i started solids. However she now holds out and wakes up upto 3-4 times in the night to breastfeed. I really do not enjpy breastfeeding, have seeen in as a duty and it really gets me down. Please please help me, any advice will be appreciated. How do I get her to take more from abottle , I have tried various bottles/teats etc, she will take a few oz from all. Many TIA.

moondog Fri 17-Oct-08 22:54:24

Could you let someone else give her a bottle?
If she is hungry she will take it.

I think you have done unbelievably well though to breastfeed for so long when as you say, you find it a duty.

Blimey! Hats off to yuo!!

sleepycat Fri 17-Oct-08 22:56:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cadelaide Fri 17-Oct-08 22:57:42

I don't have any advice really LSleepy, just sympathy. It must be awful to not enjoy bf and I think you've done well to keep it up for 6+m.

I've loved bf, but often in the early hours when he's been on and on and on I do think "...oh, just get off me...".

I hope someone comes along who can help you.

LazySleepy Fri 17-Oct-08 23:01:25

Thanks all for the lovely responses. Ive tried cold turkey in the last 2 days but give in becoz my DD cries like its the end of the world and I cant really take that, I just dont know how to get her to take more in the day, she takes upto 15 oz if Im lucky . Any ideas?

moondog Fri 17-Oct-08 23:03:14

Lazy, it's your decision of course but if she cries 'like it's the end of the world' then it might be more than the milk she loves. it's also the warm cuddly body.

ElfOnTheTopShelf Fri 17-Oct-08 23:07:05

I had a difficult transition with my daughter, it took a while to find a bottle she would take (I think it was NUK she was eventually happy with) but she does really enjoy the cuddle side.

Crackers20 Fri 17-Oct-08 23:22:06

The Nuk bottles are great - they have worked for me and many of my friends. My daughter only took a few ounces from the bottle at first, when I was doing breast and bottle, but once I stopped breastfeeding altogether she started to take more and more from the bottle and now has 8 oz when she feels like it, 3 or 4 oz at other times (she is 8 months now). I think babies definitely have some days when they're hungry and some days when they're not!

LazySleepy Sat 18-Oct-08 21:29:37

Cheers for the messages, my DD has lasted till now 9-30 pm without a breastfeed, am hoping she wont need any in the night. I was just panicking that shes not getting enough milk, has taken 420 ml from bottle today plus has had many many cheese sticks, she loves them.

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Fri 24-Oct-08 20:08:05

hey just searched for this as i also am now desperate to stop though i feel really rubbish for saying it.

ds is 9 and a bit months and i recently cut out day bfs, he has (very very little) milk from a cup. although he doesn't take a lot he doesn't demand the breast either, doesn't seem too bothered

BUT

in order to settle at night he has a massive bf, then wakes on a really good night 2-3 times and on a shit night lots n lots and generally always wants feeding (i mean really wants feeding) so i feed him...

i love my ds and would do anything for him but i am coming to the end of my tether and i don't know how to do this in a way that DOES NOT cause heartbreak for him (i can't do leaving to cry or any of that malarkey, and i won't be able to sit and let him scream til he takes a bottle.)

but i have been down with 3 different bugs in the past month, my mum is in hospital, i'm trying to start work part time, we have a long and unpleasant battle going on regarding a wall that fell on our house(!!) and i just need to get myself back (and maybe get some sleep??) but if the only way involves him sobbing i will bf until he is old enough to drive!!!!

i'm worried lots of people on mn will think i'm crap for even wanting to stop. am feeling very

and so sorry for jumping on your thread lazysleepy, but it seemed stupid to start a new one with the same title!

ps ds eats solids well (he loves food and mostly feeds himself) but i'm still really worried he doesn't take much milk in the day??

aargh sorry i sound like a total mess, am ok, just want to feel a bit like i'm in control here!

SharpMolarBear Fri 24-Oct-08 20:13:05

nolonger, can you / are you co sleeping? You sound really stressed at the moment, can't help with the longer term stopping thing I'm afraid but that might just be a way to get a bit more sleep? I started cosleeping when DS was quite old (about 10mo) and sometimes I love it, sometimes it's annoying (but that's mainly cos we have a tiny bed) and I don't think I could have gone back to work without it.

SharpMolarBear Fri 24-Oct-08 20:13:53

Hope your Mum is OK by the way

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Fri 24-Oct-08 20:22:32

thanks sharpmolar...

we don't 'officially' cosleep but take ds into our bed on any bad nights (and he's generally in there from 5ish anyway)

the only problem with this now is that it seems to give him even more desire to feed, and he will wake crying every hour or so... and if things are really bad he won't come off the boob at all (think this is a teething thing - comfort?)

i can't sleep when he's feeding as he burrows into me so much and i worry about smothering him... i know that its a comfort thing and i want to comfort him but i also need to sleep!

however cosleeping can also be lovely, the snuggles are very special

oh and mum is in due to lack of whatever part of the white blood cells fights infection (forgot name) as she is having chemo for breast cancer. she has basically none of those thingies at all so they have had to take her in. its horrid cos i want to help her but can't really even look after myself!! however that is a digression. i still need to work out how to stop bf, i hate resenting ds for just doing what he is meant to do!

am obviously a witch

SharpMolarBear Fri 24-Oct-08 20:42:01

Sounds like co sleeping not really working either DS does the wakes up crying thing when he;s teething, usually he just wakes up and helps himself. I can doze while he feeds but he's a lot older and can look after himself, pushing me out of the way etc
So sorry to hear about your mum, no wonder you are stressed. Hope she is responding OK to her treatment.
You are not a witch, and no-one should be thinking you're crap for wanting to stop. You're (presumably) a really good mum who has bf even thought she didn't want to for over 9 month, to do the best for her DS. I've always said I would feed DS for as long as it suited us both, well IMO it isn't suiting you (please please correct me if I'm wrong, I would hate to encourage someone to stop bf who actually wanted to continue). Happy mum=happy baby is a generalisation and is trotted out all the time, however I think at 9mo your baby is going to benefit from you feeling happier / less stressed / less tied to him. On the other hand a lot of your stress seems external, and no longer bf doesn't necessarily mean he will sleep any better or be less clingy, so only stop if you want to.
If you see what I mean
Ramble over wink

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Fri 24-Oct-08 22:38:29

thanks again sharp..despite em cs and some early nipple damage (!) bf has gone well and has felt completely right..

However ds, who came out v skinny due to probs with my placenta,has always fed lots,and tho he now doesn't feed in the day he does a lot at night and it has just all got a bit much. So yes,I do want to stop...

This is a bump for more advice too.ds just woken up so off to settle him,which will no doubt mean a feed..

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Fri 24-Oct-08 23:01:37

help!

Anyone?

SecondComing Fri 24-Oct-08 23:14:16

I'm just wondering if this is a breastfeeding problem or a sleep problem?
How does your DS sleep during the day?

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Fri 24-Oct-08 23:20:50

hmm..well. Not great..he has 2 or 3 naps of 30-45 mins.has to be rocked to sleep in pushchair but sleeps v quickly so not a real prob.

I do think this is a bf prob tho. Although the sleep thing is also a bit of a problem! I just really am ready (more than ready) to stop bf now. Not sure ds feels the same tho...

Seriously, how dies everyone else manage it???

SecondComing Fri 24-Oct-08 23:25:09

It's just that if he is sleeping better during the day then he may not wake at night and you could find it easier to stop BFing.
The sleep cycle of a baby is around 45 minutes so his naps should (if possible!) be at least 45 minutes long.
The more tired they get during the day the less they sleep at night so you could get a baby that is pretty much sleeping through just by sorting out his naps. Then the breastfeeding wouldn't be so hard to cut out, I know from experience those middle of the night feeds are the easiest to give in to aren't they? You're just so tired it's anything to get back to sleep!

thingamajig Sat 25-Oct-08 00:03:37

Hi, nolonger,
I saw this and just had to post, we are going through so many of the same things at the mo, dd is nearly 10m and I want to cut down on bf, though I am not so desperate as you.
I hear what you are saying about your energy being torn in so many different directions, and I've just has a bug too, a d+v one, I felt so empty when not eating and bf a sick baby.
You say you have cut out bf in the day; what happens if you do feed him? My dd will sometimes go through (well, to 5ish) if I have breastfed a couple of times in the day. This can then be worked on over time, but as they get better at eating solids it will (hopefully) improve. And make sure you keep offering food, with pudding, with snacks in between in the daytime.
Is it possible for your dp to get up and offer milk when he wakes in the night? If he can smell your milk he wont take a cup.
Hope tonight is not too bad; and dont feel guilty about wanting to stop feeding. Your sleep is necessary for your health, and you need to stay well.
And heres a halloween smily smile

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