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Is it worth trying to BF a second time after failing miserably with DS?

(60 Posts)
TheHedgeWitch Sun 12-Oct-08 17:24:02

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BoysAreLikeZombies Sun 12-Oct-08 17:30:46


I managed it second time around

Huge norks too

I managed to crack a nipple expressing for DS1 in hosp (he was in SCBU) and then when NG tube removed we just could not get going on the breast.

DS2 - crash c section, BF hard hard work at first, lots of expressing from 'bad' boob as crack opened up again. Luckily the baby didn't care how he got the milk as long as it was BM.

BY 3 months we were well away smile

FEd him til 9 months when he gave it up

OH, and I wish that someone had told me with DS1 that I could have fed him from one boob only - MW never ever said that it is possible, and I never thought about it until much later. Sigh

I had a LOT of help at home with toddler DS1 was 2.4 when DS2 was born.

HTH and good luck.

LadyOfWaffleIsScaryEnough Sun 12-Oct-08 17:31:38

I am 36/38 G and althought it took a week to get DS1 latched on, DS2 latched straight away. My nipples are big and flat also. I always pinch my nipple/areola to get it into DSs mouth, otherwise the weight of my breast just drags it out. It's just the way it is The MWs said bring baby to me, but for me it didn't work... I get DS (on a V pillow) lined up (tummy facing me, on his side) Then pinch my areola and rub my nipple voer his mouth and wait until he has it open enough then rub it downwards so it goes into his mouth laying on his tongue. ou just have to try all sorts of 'quirky' things sometimes. With DS1 the rugby hold (if feeding on right breast, DS was tucked under righ arm, feet almost behind me back) worked best in the early days, as did feeding after expressing abit as it made my nipple stick out. I think there is a pic of DS2 feeding on my profile that you can probably see the 'big boob pinch'.

BroccoliSpears Sun 12-Oct-08 17:32:40

Oooh yes, definitely worth a try!!

I'm currently feeding my 6 month old and have a 2.5 year old. They are very different to feed. Dd was so, so hard. I was in tears for weeks and weeks trying to establish pain-free feeding with her. Ds just popped out and latched on (and has barely latched off 6 months later hmm).

I don't find it hard particularly feeding a baby with a 2-year-old around. Sometimes one or other of them just has to wait for my attention, as with everything else when you have 2 young children.

If you want to give it your best go, I would mak sure you have your support in place before the baby is born (BF councellor, helplines, Mumsnet on standby). If it doesn't work you will have tried and nothing lost. If you don't try you'll always wonder, and from what you've said it sounds like you want to breastfeed. Best luck with it!

LadyOfWaffleIsScaryEnough Sun 12-Oct-08 17:33:52

DS was 2.5 when DS2 was born (now 7 weeks) and it's ok actually. DS2 still feeds alot but DS1 just gets on with playing. I sit on the sofa usually so I can chat to DS1 and he can play cars on the edge of the V pillow etc, or draw next to me... and obviously cbeebies helps!

orangehead Sun 12-Oct-08 17:42:36

I had a awful time bf ds1, so bad that I think it was a big contribution to my pnd. When I come preg with ds2 I was really worried about bf again and wondered if not to bother. But after consideration I decided to just have a relaxed attitude to it, give it a go and if it didnt work to give up with no guilt because I had tried. Ds2 bf like a dream with not one problem, he could not of been any more different than his brother. So its always worth a try as every baby is different. It might of been nothing to do with your big boobs, or it might of been a combination of things. I have heard lots of stories of people with really big boobs feeding ok, so hopefully you will find this too.
Good luck with whatever you decide

bigknickersbigknockers Sun 12-Oct-08 17:44:26

I failed miserably with DS1 but managed to BF DS2 with a bit of a struggle. It was worth the struggle and when I had DD it was a doddle. just because you didnt manage it 1st time round doesnt mean you wont be able to BF this time round. Good luck.

pReachyTheExorcist Sun 12-Oct-08 17:46:00

DS4 was my first ebf baby beyond a few weeks! Which shows it can happen!

DS1- failure to thrive, undiagnosed milk intolerance, formula given at 4 weeks, bf ended by 2

DS2- mixed feeding from 2 weeks, bf ended at 4 months

DS3- as above but until 16 months

DS4- ebf until weaning (he is 6 months), no plan to introduce formula

dinny Sun 12-Oct-08 17:47:58

hello, HW

Yes yes yes

I had a really hard time with dd as she was pre-term, couldn't latch and I so didn't know what I ws doing/bfc away on hliday etc etc

ds - totally different (being full term mainly) he just knew what to do - I had a postnatal doula in order to help me but didn't need her to do a thing, was amazing

I fed ds till he was 2.5 (and when he was born dd was 2 and a bit and it was still easy)

my advice is to get a medela electric pump if the bbay is having a hard tme latching - brings nipples out for 'em!

orangehead Sun 12-Oct-08 17:49:33

Also I had a 16 month age gap. So that was another of my concerns, how I could bf while still looking after a young toddler but it worked really well. It helped that ds2 bf in 15/20 mins (unlike ds1 who took 1hr and a half), ds1 would sit next to me with a book that we would look at together or sit next to me whilst we watched cbeebees or sometimes he would just play on the floor near me with toys. Either way it never seemed to bother him. Once bf was established, I expressed one morning a week and my mum had baby while me and ds1 went out and had 'our time', he was always very excited about that, so I think that helped.

InTheseShoes Sun 12-Oct-08 17:58:08

Huge norks here too - very successful BF of DS2, using a muslin rolled up under the breast I was feeding on and the nipple pinch described above. With DS1 I had to use shields it didn't work quite as well - you could do with a BF counsellor/midwife for support

Good luck!

Sawyer64 Sun 12-Oct-08 18:10:42

I have had 3 DC, and had mixed experiences with them. BF first DC until he was 10 mths old,hell at first but I was determined to succeed and it gradually got better.

Smugly confident with 2nd DC,started off really well,no real discomfort,at 7 weeks she went on BF strike,asked for help/advice from everyone(BF counsellors/NCT/H.V/Friends?Relatives.) No-one could help me,never had the problem themselves.Unfortunately never heard of MNsad. Gave up and FF.

Determined but realistic with 3rd DC.No problems,fed her exclusively for 6 mths,chose to mixed feed as returning to work.

IMO, BF is easier with other DC's around.Definitely couldn't have done the sterilizing,making up feeds, and heating them up with a Toddler around,easier to BF and learn how to hold a book,use the remote,mend toys etc. one-handed to keep Toddler amused/distracted whilst feeding.

RhinestoneCowghoul Sun 12-Oct-08 18:20:13

Fairly large boobs here - roughly a 32J when my milk came in. It took a while to get confident with positioning when feeding DS, and he was jaundiced and lost lots of weight too. Milk used to shoot out so fast he would just fall off shock. But we got there in the end... I could never do hands free feeding tho, always had to support my boob with my hand, and kept DS cutched in really close.

I'm hoping it will be easier getting started with DC2, will have roughly the same age gap you. We've already had lots of chat about how the new baby will drink milk from me, I have a friend who's just had a baby and is bf-ing etc. I think those first few weeks and months are going to be hectic however you feed.

Hope you have a better experience this time

TheHedgeWitch Sun 12-Oct-08 19:11:55

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nickytwoooohtimes Sun 12-Oct-08 19:15:14

I had a nightmare with ds too. Painful cracks, mastitis, poor latch, no help. Gave up at 2 wks. I have tiny brests, btw!
I am saving this thread because I so want it to work if we have another.

constancereader Sun 12-Oct-08 19:25:21

I am finding it so different with my second baby too - this time I have had no pain or cracking/bleeding. It is worth giving it a go. It could be worth identifying sources of help beforehand in case any problems arise.

Hope everything goes well!

fledtoscotland Sun 12-Oct-08 19:38:44

definitly give it a go. i was so determined with DS that i was going to BG but i couldnt manage (with hindsight due to my inverted nipples) but i was also very ill about a week after he was born. with DS2 i didnt discuss it with anyone and just calmly attempted feeding him myself when he was born,

he is now 5 1/2 weeks old and exclusively BF grin. my mw suggested nipple shields to help with the pain in the beginning and i only had to use them for a couple of days.

my only problem now is helpful family members asking when i am going to start feeding him "properly" angry

good luck and go for it!

dinny Sun 12-Oct-08 20:00:41

HW - make sure you make contact with the hospital bfc or someone before you have the baby

Tryharder Sun 12-Oct-08 21:42:17

hedgewitch, agree with dinny. Join the La Leche League or bf group in your area and go along. Get to know the group leaders and say you want help when the baby comes. Dont just get telephone numbers, get someone to agree to come and visit you after the birth to check latch etc.

fairylights Sun 12-Oct-08 21:46:04

yes my friend is happlily bf her new baby (5 weeks old now) having had an awful time trying to bf her first ds - she is amazed at the difference! Hope you get on ok smile

dannyb Sun 12-Oct-08 23:46:00

yes yes yes and yes. My first BF experience was absolutely horrendous and included mastitis, thrush, no milk for 6 days, bleeding nipples and a baby who took at least 20 minutes to latch at a time and I gave up after a week. My second experience was completely different, she latched straight after birth, milk came in within 48 hours and we were feeding in Starbucks within 5 days and even though I only fed her for 3 months I am enormously proud of what I achieved. Give it a go, you never know what might happen.

LackaDAISYcal Mon 13-Oct-08 00:02:22

Absolutely, and well done you for considering it smile. with the right support and techniques, the size of your boobs needn't be an issue.

With DS I had very little support, was a single parent, had had a terrible failed induction that culminated in a CS, and didn't get skin to skin until I was on the postnatal ward. I struggled painfully for six long and agonising weeks. Was told latch was fine, but was in horrible pain, and cracked and bleeding. All HV could do was suggest different holds....which only served to attack other bits of my boobs. Gave up feeding and started expressing at five weeks and he was fully on formula by 6.5 weeks.

With DD, I had an open mind about it; I was prepared to give it a go, but wouldn't hesitate to put her on bottles if it wasn't working. Then I found MN, and kellymom, and the fact that there were more support organisations out there. I read up as much as I could and was able to work out that my previous problems were more than likely due to a combination of vasospasm, thrush and tongue tie.

I also had a much more calm and relaxed birth experience with DD, she was skin to skin and feeding withing half an hour of my elCS, my milk came in within 48 hours, and she took to it really well. I'm not saying we were problem free; there was the usual latch issues in the early days which I figured out myself <proud of myself emoticon>, then recurrent blocked ducts and thrush that didn't fully clear up until around six months (it kept coming and going). But, support from local groups, my CMW and not least mumsnet meant we went on to feed successfully for 10 months. I got pregnant again when DD was eight months and wanted to carry on and tandem feed, but she had other ideas sad and started to decrease the frequency of her feeds and my milk had pretty much gone by 10 months.

But, I'm sure if I hadn't got pregnant again we would still be feeding now at 16 months.

New baby is due in three and a half weeks and I'm positively looking forward to it this time.

Make sure you have some BFC numbers to hand before you have the baby, and ask to see the hospital lactation consultant (if they have one) or a peer supporter if there are any that volunteer in your hospital.

And good luck

<aplogises for the mammoth post blush>

jasper Mon 13-Oct-08 00:09:47


mumtoo3 Mon 13-Oct-08 08:03:04

dd1 expressed milk for 5 months
ds feed till 15 months
dd2 is 11 months and still going strong 6 times a day

for me it has got easier each time

rozzyraspberry Mon 13-Oct-08 08:07:25

Easier second time round here too. Partly I think because I knew what to expect but also because I was more confident handling a newborn. Also ds1 was only 6lbs4 and ds2 was 9lbs 3 which also made me more confident in handling him - didn't feel so fragile!

Ds1 only managed 2 weeks bf - got really badly cracked nipples, bleeding really badly, crying every time I bf etc. Really struggled to get him latched. Ds2 was easier from the start and I bf for 6 months. Currently bf ds3 who is now 8 monthssmile. Although it is harder to start with bf with other children in the medium to long term it's easier as when you're going out anywhere you don't have to think about talking bottles etc and you don't have to mess about with sterilising/making up formula.

Things I learned after having problems with ds1 - if the latch isn't right take him off and start again. Lansinoh is fab - the best breast pads I've found for not sticking on sore nipples are the lansinoh and tommee tippee ones.

Bf is a partnership between you and your baby - different baby might be completely different and definitely worth a try.

Good luck with birth and bf!

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