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15 month old has started to ask for daytime breastfeeds again, but I really don't want to go back to daytime feeds - how do i handle this?

(4 Posts)
Plonker Sat 11-Oct-08 13:14:37

My 15 month old dd hasn't had day feeds since she was about 8 months old. She gradually dropped them herself.

For the last few months she has only had one bf a day, which is the morning bf ...and tbh she had started to drop a couple of those so that she was only having maybe 1 in 3. However, over the last couple of days she has started to ask for daytime feeds again, and not very politely either - she is pulling at my top and trying to lift it up regardless of where we are shock

I fed her on the occasions where she hadn't had a morning bf but now i'm wondering if this was the wrong thing to do, because she now seems to want it all the time.

I feel really selfish, but i've never been confident feeding her in public and really don't want to go back to it, but when i tell her 'no' she cries sad

How do i deal with this?

Or is it cruel to deny her a feed?

Mij Sat 11-Oct-08 13:30:04

I think it's one on those things where you have to do what feels right to you (and I know sometimes you don't know what's right until you've tried it!), but it's quite normal for kids to continue to change their pattern of demand over as long as you feed them. If you're really uncomfortable with feeding in public and you think the 1 morning feed pattern is working for both of you, most of the time, you do have the right to stick to that and set your DD boundaries. And btw, well done for feeding a toddler!

She may be growth spurting. She may have other changes going on in her life for which she needs a bit of support (ie comfort in the form of bf).

How much do you think she understands at the moment? Would you feel able to tell her that milk/boob/whatever word you use are only for certain times and try distraction/other drinks or food/other forms of comfort to see if you can get through this patch? Perhaps you could make the morning BF as lovely and snuggly and special as you can, to compensate for the fact that you'll be telling her 'no' at other times.

As comparison, when my DD was a similar age I decided I sometimes needed her to wait a bit rather than, eg, sitting down in the middle of the blardy street to bf here the minute she asked! I won't say she was always happy about it, but she did 'get it' quite quickly, and I was always sure to offer the delayed feed as soon as we were somewhere more comfy/suitable.

When I nightweaned she had to learn than boobs went to sleep too, and couldn't be woken up in the night any more hmm, so maybe you could try a 'we have milk in the morning, don't we, how about a drink of water/juice/a banana/something else just now?' approach...

Hope something in there is useful smile

popsycal Sat 11-Oct-08 13:58:05

distraction tecvhniques
'ooh lok at this toy'
'shall we put cbeebies on'

try not to say no, but try to show her something exciting/interesting etc instead
I had a toddler who would have fed all day had I let him so I sympathise

Plonker Sat 11-Oct-08 19:22:52

Thanks for replies smile

I'm really baffled by it tbh because only a couple of weeks ago i was upset thinking that she was self-weaning and that it was the end of bf for us. Guess i want my cake and eat it eh?

Mij - her understanding is excellent, she does however, often choose to ignore me, lol.
She isn't going through any changes, well I suppose she is but they're for the better (doesn't go to childminder anymore and stays with nan instead, with whom she was already with twice a week ...she is looooooads happier) so i don't think its for comfort at all. Good to hear that its normal though smile

Popsycal - distraction could definitely be the way to go i think. Thanks smile

I think i wanted reassurance that its ok to tell her no really?? Sad isn't it? ...why is everything a guilt trip?

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