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Please tell me I'm not the only one with a bad tempered, demanding 18 month old who has only ever wanted boob!!

(24 Posts)
kittywise Mon 06-Oct-08 22:10:23


The only thing he will actually EAT is curryhmm.
He'll snack on stuff sometimes, bits of cheese or bread, ham, but doesn't want food at meal times and it's not because he's filled up on milk and snacks, he doesn't have much.

I wish I could get him to eat more and feed less from me.

Apart from that he wants the occasional bottle.

Everytime I sit down he wants to feed.

He's lively but very skinny.

I daren't get him weighed the HV would have a fit.

But I know I'm not alone here, am I?

kittywise Tue 07-Oct-08 07:56:07

yeah well I KNEW I was hmm

PuzzleRocks Tue 07-Oct-08 09:32:21

Don't have any advice i'm afraid but wanted to bump for you.

jammi Tue 07-Oct-08 11:05:25

Message withdrawn

jammi Tue 07-Oct-08 11:07:49

Message withdrawn

stillstanding Tue 07-Oct-08 11:13:26

Are you sure he is very skinny? Think you should go to the HV and have a chat. May well be that he just doesn't need as much food as you think and that he is a perfectly good weight.

Re food variety, I think the key here is to just keep offering him choices until eventually you hit on other favourites. Also I find with my DS (who is also 18 months) that he loves feeding himself and so fingerfood or bits that are easily stabbed with his little fork/spoon go down a treat.

The boob thing is trickier ... I feed DS only first thing in the morning and last thing at night and try to always do it in the same chair. The idea is that he will then associate only that place with feeding but it is not foolproof and recently he has started to lift my top occasionally which I am not that keen on!! At those times I just try to distract him and not give in.

Think it is key to not give in as otherwise he really will just be topping up with milk and then not be hungry for meals.

chipmonkey Tue 07-Oct-08 11:30:57

kitty, I have had ishoos with ds1's appetite at that age ( you'll be please to hear he's now a healthy 12 year old!) and with ds3's boob obsession.
With ds1 we cut his milk intake in half. This was hard because he loved milk. Very hard to gauge with the bf but if your ds is still bf, you probably shouldn't give bottles in addition to that.
In our case, ds1 would only eat chicken nuggets, breakfast cereal, bacon, sausages and other crap. I did blame the nursery he attended at the time because that was what they served up on a regular basis but I think he would have been fussy regardless. In any case, once we cut down the milk, he did eat more, not a huge amount, compared to what my SILs children ate but they tend to be overweight now, while he is a normal weight! Toddlers do vary hugely in appetite and personally I think those that are bf might eat less than those who were ff from the start but it's not necessarily a bad thing.

SharpMolarBear Tue 07-Oct-08 12:22:50

no you're not alone I have a 17mo and apart from that could have written the OP

kittywise Tue 07-Oct-08 20:37:41

Thank you for replies.

He has been really, really awful today and I've decided that the only way all this nonsense is going to stop is to stop BFsad

SharpMolarBear Wed 08-Oct-08 09:57:48

messageinabottle Wed 08-Oct-08 22:32:50

you are not alone.

I could have written this post except my DS is 16 months and not skinny (but not particluarly chubby either). Are you sure it's not just your DS's build that makes him seem skinny? Just thinking we're all different so just as there are skinny / average / chubby adults, the same applies to babies.

I was planning on visiting the breastfeeding counsellor tomorrow but DS is ill so may have to wait until next week.

My DS is blw and eats really well when he's with everybody else hmm however when he's with me he would literally drink milk all day if he could. and as you say because he's filling up on milk he's not eating food.

I really really don't want to give up breastfeeding either but sometimes it's hard when he doesn't eat; when you don't get much support feeding a baby older than 1 year; when he still wakes at night for feeding etc etc.

Breastfeeding has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me to be honest so I'm just going to see if I can ride this one out (without trying to be a martyr iykwim!)

I have also kind of come to the conclusion that it's not the worst thing in the world if he does want to drink breastmilk alot, I would have thought nutritionally it's better for him than some of the solid food he eats! My DS also has a dairy allergy so I wonder if has a sensitive digestive system and needs breastmilk that little longer / more often than his peers???

Sorry not much advice here but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. If I get anything helpful from the breastfeeding counsellor (who was a great support when DS was young) I will let you know.

keep posting, maybe we could support each other smile

Pannacotta Wed 08-Oct-08 22:41:54

My DS2 is 17 months and also very high maintenance and boob obsessed. He does eat but spends mpst of meal times throwing food and his cup on the floor and creating havoc!

I fed DS1 till he self weaned age 2 ish when I was pregnant. But he only fed first and last thing at this age so was a bit surprised at how many feeds DS2 still wants.
Am also planning to ride it out as I think it is prob to do with personality, DS2 is very physical and tactile and clingy with me (unlike his brother) and seems to find huge comfort in his feeds (day and night).
Agree that b-milk is no poor relation to eating solids esp if they are not of the especially healthy variety.

You are definatley not the only one!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 08-Oct-08 22:47:27

You are definitely not alone DD eschews food at any opportunity in favour of boob and she's two in a couple of weeks (and I have a 3 month old to boot).

BM is good for them so don't sweat it too much, but if you could try feeding him food before you nurse him (eat the toast and then booby worked for me) he may start to get interested in food.

DD also loves spicey food - some kids are just like that.

messageinabottle Wed 08-Oct-08 22:59:43

Yeah that's another thing I always hear 'my DD/DS had just one feed in the morning and one at night since 9 months' and I'm like eh?!! envy

and my DS definately takes huge comfort in booby

Lurcio Thu 09-Oct-08 00:08:57

Have just found this thread and wanted to say that you are not alone. DD is 18months (today!) and is a little milk monster. She will not take a bottle, or drink any milk that is not mine.
She's teething at the moment and that always makes her worse, she doesn't want to eat anything.
It is so tiring, I really don't want to give up bf, but I would love a full nights sleep occasionally!

Balthamos Thu 09-Oct-08 10:45:19

Oh I am very relieved to see this thread!

My DD is 14.5 months and is totally obsessed with booby. She feeds ALL THE TIME. She wants milk countless times a day and through the night. I have tried and tried to get her down to the elusive 'feed in the morning and before bed' but it simply is not happening in our house.

Messageinabottle, we too have the situation where she eats really well for other people and hardly anything for me. I struggle to get her to eat much (apart from dark chocolate digestives which she'd gorge on all day along with milk if she could!) yet whenever anyone else comes along she eats really well! She isn't skinny but she certainly isn't chubby anymore.

Perhaps this is all normal behaviour for older bf children, but because so few children are bf at this age, it is hard for us all to gauge what is normal as there is not much for us all to compare our children to.

The thing is, she is a obviously very healthy, she is ill far less frequently than her peers, she is very happy, meets all of her milestones (usually early) so this pattern is doing her no harm, but I still worry! And yes, like other people have mentioned, I would LOVE to have a full nights sleep. Just once would be nice!

Tapster Thu 09-Oct-08 13:13:17

My DD just self weaned at nearly 23 months (I am 4 months pregnant). At around 14 months she was feeding all the time. She never took to solids until about 13 months when she ate a bit more, did BLW as she hates mush.

IME eating solids and BFing are not related. Everybody says if you cut BFing they improve their eating, I did cut down around 15/16 months as I had two very early miscarriages in a row so I decided to cut feeds very slowly, one every 2/3 weeks (given some days it was 10 feeds it took a while!). It did not improve her eating at all.

I stopped feeding her at night at 12 months, I did a limited form of controlled crying (never ever let her cry for more than 30mins, Tanya Byron recommendation) - it worked in two nights. She slept through ever since. They need to learn to put themselves back to sleep IMO. I sent my DH in, as I said I would not feed more at night. Of course her daytime solids did not increase in consumption.

I found at 14 months if we went to a new house/play group she would feel nervous and want to feed. She became far less clingy when I cut out the daytime feeds, although of course this may have happened anyway.

Good luck it is tough.

whomovedmychocolate Thu 09-Oct-08 14:52:03

Tapster I did think DD had self weaned at the same point in my last pregnancy. Then suddenly whompf she was back on the boob and refusing to leave it - claiming it tasted like vanilla ice cream. So don't rest on your laurels just yet smile - congrats on your pregnancy though!

kittywise Thu 09-Oct-08 16:26:00

Lovely that we are all here to support one anothersmile.

Thankyou for all your words of support.

I suppose I have been lead to believe that BM is no longer muc good for them at this stage and that if they do not eat lots of solids then they with be malnourished in some wayhmm And now I come to think of it DS is never 'ill'. There MUST be a link. Yes he is a bad tempered little man but never ill.

I have actually been cutting down the feeds as I worked out that feeding had become a catch all cure for him whenever ANYTHING was even slightly amiss. So he would always ask for food and it was starting to affect all the family in negative way.

Yesterday when he started to lift my top and fret I distracted like mad, lots of cuddles, chirrpy voiced'let's play this' etc.

I gave him lots of praise. kisses and cuddles when he wasn't crying and do you know he stopped asking for it nearly as much and was a much happier baby.

Today I have kept us busy. He has fed three times which is great for him.

He will take a bottle though and I have been able to give him that as well.

I don't want to stop completely he might be my last baby.sad

messageinabottle Fri 10-Oct-08 13:40:18

lol at wmmc quote 'tasting like vanilla ice cream' that will be my DS, I just know it!

I think that Balthamos has a good point there - that 'perhaps this is all normal behaviour for older bf children, but because so few children are bf at this age, it is hard for us all to gauge what is normal as there is not much for us all to compare our children to'. I, for one, really don't know that much about breastfeeding older babies (all the info and advice i do get is from mn!).

and I agree kitty - I feel like it's odd almost that I bfeed him so often and he doesn't eat that much. But then WHY is it odd??? Maybe this is NORMAL and feeding babies solids so often so young is ODD grin who knows.

Sounds like you're doing really well distracting him though; I hope this works out well for you, especially as you don't want to give up just yet.

But after putting up with all the 'when are you giving up', 'bitty' etc comments I had a recent comment that made it all worthwhile. My (currently childless) best friend said I'm definately breastfeeding when/if I have children, after seeing how healthy and happy your DS is smile

Pannacotta Fri 10-Oct-08 16:55:58

Tapster can you tell me any more about the form of controlled cyring you used?
I am not generally into cc but am getting really desperate for a good night's kip, as is DH.
Also the broken nights are having a bad effect on DS2 who is v grouchy at the mo.
Would be interested to hear how it worked for you.

kittywise Fri 10-Oct-08 17:05:33

messageinabottle, that's lovely that your friend said that. You must have been really chuffed.

Dp said to me today that perhaps the definition of a child being too old to bf is when they can talk about what they are doing! Ds3 had finished one side today and I said 'would you like the other side'? and he grinned and said "o'side" and got busy with it!

I don't think of him as too old. To me he is still but a baby. it's healthy I think, both physically and emotionally.

pannacotta, you poor thing, you must be knackered. i must confess that if he wakes now I put my ear plugs in blush. I'm too exhausted

catweazle Fri 10-Oct-08 17:17:13

kitty I've only just seen this thread. DD seems to be demanding more BF as she gets older. She has taken to lifting my top or shoving both hands down it, while asking "numnums?" We had 4 nights running of constant feeding but for the last 2 nights that's eased off- I think she wasn't feeling well.

message it's interesting that we don't actually know what is normal for a BF child of this age.

kittywise Fri 10-Oct-08 20:00:15

Hi catweazlesmile

I suspect it is very normal in more 'primitive' cultures. I read an article once that had done a study on their feeding patterns of children in these cultures around the world. Babies/toddlers/children would feed very frequently during the day but only for very short periods and they would feed until they were toddlers and older.

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