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I have made the decision to stop BF - DS is nearly 1

(5 Posts)
MarlaSinger Thu 02-Oct-08 18:39:26

I just don't know how to do it - it is easy for people to say 'well you just don't feed him anymore' but in reality... not so easy.

Any tips for gradually cutting down to 3 then 2 then 1 feed per day?

I have been at work for a month now and on my working days DS is happy to have a BF first thing, after work, and before bed (as well as during the night hmm) but when I am home with him he will happily have another 2 or 3 during the day.

I will miss bits of it but I am happy to move on.

We co-sleep part of the night, so I realise this will have to stop, which I am fairly optimistic about - currently the cot is pushed against the bed so I just have to leave him in it rather than bring him in when I go to bed... I hope it's that easy anyway hmm

NorthernLurker Thu 02-Oct-08 18:53:37

Is this something somebdoy else has suggested to you? I just don't quite see why you want to stop if you know you will miss bits and ds is still feeding happily? If it's any help to you though I am still feeding dd3 once a day in the evening. We stopped the morning feed over the summer when dh was around to get her out of the cot and her big sisters could play with her. I just stayed out the way till she was busy playing and then could appear without any 'requests' I did once foolishly say that she hadn't mentioned milk - only to turn round to find her holding the pillow we use and looking expectant. i caved in on that occasion but otherwise she didn't seem fussed. She still loves the evening feed though and so do I so we'll keep goingn. It is possible just to feed once a day with no adverse physical effects.

MarlaSinger Thu 02-Oct-08 19:29:40

I do admit I am partly torn on the issue but I am almost certain it's the right time for us.

Dp and I still sleep apart because he didn't want to co-sleep, and while our relationship is in recovery, this can only go on for so long. I am not losing weight and would like to... I also don't think DS would be happy with once a day as he will smell milk on me - he has shown no signs of cutting down until it was forced on us both by returning to work.

It's difficult because ideally I would like to let him self-wean - but not when I know that could be, literally, years away.

I do not think it is wrong to BF older children, of 3, 4, 5 and beyond, but it is not for me.

If I knew, say, that my DS would self-wean at 15 months I'd carry on. But the not knowing is making it lose it's appeal.

I hope this makes sense.

Tryharder Thu 02-Oct-08 22:32:57

When DS1 was a year old, he was bfeeding once after work, once in the evening and once during the night. I stopped the day feed (just offered something else to eat/drink instead) and then later on cut the evening feed (gave cows milk). He carried on feeding in the night (probably habit/comfort rather than nutrition) until he was about 16 months old and then one night he didnt wake up wanting a feed and that was it - he never fed again sad.

I think you can encourage your DS to self wean gradually without going cold turkey which might be a bit harsh. I can only speak from my own experience which was that DS1 self weaned quite happily. However, he was quite an independent baby (if you see what i mean), I was working FT and he had other carers, he was already walking very, very well and also ate a good diet so perhaps bf wasnt so "important" to him anymore

MarlaSinger Fri 03-Oct-08 08:01:19

Thanks Tryharder

I do know I'll be sad when it is all over, it's hard isn't it, I can't have it all.

That does sound a nice and gentle way of doing it. I could probably drop the morning feed as we are usually in a rush and he is sometimes a bit distracted and less interested. To be honest I only push the morning feed because during the night he feeds from one side only - so I wanted to feed from the other before work.

I could probably drop the post-bath feed too although this is a useful one because it tends to get him off to sleep, and DP usually washes up during this one!

That would leave me with one feed post-work which would be harder to drop for a while I think as he's still settling in a bit. And feeding during the night.

Ok, I have a starting point. I'll see how it goes. Thank you

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