Advanced search

have such mixed feelings

(7 Posts)
bythepowerofgreyskull Thu 11-Sep-08 18:22:37

this morning I met my friends little boy for the first time. He is 12 days old.

Whilst she was pregnant we mentioned breastfeeding and she said "eugh! can you imagine sucking the life out of you" So I mentioned I had fed both the boys and it had felt very different to how I had imagined.. if she got chance she should give it a go - she could be surprised! but left it at that not mentioned again.

SO this morning - she said -
I tried breastfeeding you know
How did you get on?
Well you were right it didn't feel how I thought and he seemed to like it
Wow So are you breastfeeding him?
No - I chickened out because the midwifes changed shift and they wanted me to commit to bottle or breastfeeding before I left the hospital and I wasn't certain I would be able to make breastfeeding work so I told her I would stop and start bottle feeding. She suggested that as I hadn't breastfed my older child that it was a wise decision.

I am SO pleased she tried it and really frustrated that the gentle encouragement she got from one team of midwives dissapeared on shift change.

Not expecting comment really just getting it off my chest.
Baby made me VERY broody though.. better stay away from DH for the next few days grin

TandemMum Thu 11-Sep-08 18:41:57

At 12 days old it would be relatively easy for your friend to re-lactate. Perhaps you could mention this as an option perhaps? It is still very early days and I have known mums re-establish breastfeeding much later then 12 days! You could always take the angle that it is cheaper, she won't run out and it is more convenient - besides everything else!
Good luck.

katface Thu 11-Sep-08 19:01:15

greyskull - how sad that yet another stupid midwife talks a mother out of bf. fancy giving her a choice, like make a decision now or else ? stupid cow ! honestly.

i bf my son for 3.5 years and had to climb everest to do it in the first few weeks (shit mw support), but boy was it worth all the hard work.

my son is the only child i know who has never been on serious medication (apart from Calpol) since birth. He got his first cold when he was 5.5 months old, and since then that is all he has ever had (ok he got head lice at his nursery a few weeks ago, when i got a prescription to get rid of the lice, the nurse was surprised to find out that he is 4.5 years old and it was the FIRST time ever he has been prescribed meds).

i have friends who keep using anti-b's because of repeated ear infections, etc, the sorts of things one can avoid thro' bf.

not being smug - please don't attack me grin - i am just pointing out the health benefits of bf and the crap rates we have in this country are largely due to crap NHS support. many mothers wish to bf, but like your friend they are put off or pushed off at the first few hurdles.

I avoid the topic with pregnant friends, because i don't wish to put pressure on them. If they ASK for help and support then I give it usually by giving them a list of all the bf support groups. I also point out my favourite websites that have good bf info.

I feel more comfortable talking about bf in cyber mode. It is such a touchy topic in real life.

pudding25 Thu 11-Sep-08 19:38:01

I am shock at the lack of mw support.

I could so easily have gone the way of your friend. Before dd was born, I thought I would never bf. It just did not appeal. I could not understand how my friend said she enjoyed it. It felt weird.
A few weeks before dd was born, I thought that I would give it a go as I did not want dd to be deprived of the health benefits and I really thought that I would give it a wk, give dd the colostrum and then go on to bottles.

Luckily, we both took to bf easily and the mw were very supportive. My friends now find it funny that I am their new bf guru! I am always quoting mumsnet at them when they ask questions!
DD is mths now and I have no plans to stop. She does get a bottle a day (I wanted to express and couldnt) and I love the bonding time with her.
The lack of proper care for pregnant and post partum women in this country is a disgrace.

ilovemydog Thu 11-Sep-08 19:42:50

My H/V came up with a similarly stupid line as far as why so many women resort to formula.Apparently it's because, 'breastfeeding is rammed down their throats in hospital...' hmm

bythepowerofgreyskull Thu 11-Sep-08 22:52:38

thnaks ladies, I just felt such a mix of feelings about it - over joyed that she tried it and angry at the pressure to make a choice either way.

moondog Thu 11-Sep-08 23:16:42

That's verey very sad. sad
ilove, I would have told her she was talking

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now