Advanced search

Breastfeeding made me feel terribly sad and bleak

(15 Posts)
charliebucket Tue 09-Sep-08 23:32:52

Has anyone else experienced feelings of bleakness and utter futility whilst breastfeeding? A terrible emptiness and feeling that there is no point to life at all? In the days of boyfriends anyone touching my nipples used to give me this feeling and I always assumed it was because breasts were intended to do another job and a baby would be different. For some reason when I met my husband this feeling didn't happen and I loved him touching me. But through three babies feeding the bleak feeling was all I felt. No post-natal depression - was right as rain and happy so long as I wasn't actually feeding. Had the same sensation when expressing milk - like all the sorrow of the world was in my body. So much for serotonin.

charliebucket Tue 09-Sep-08 23:44:18

So I'll add very lonely to that then.

thisisyesterday Tue 09-Sep-08 23:45:24

aww CB, I did read this but didn't know what to say because I haven't experienced it and don't think I know anyone else who has either.

but I do want to say well done for breastfeeding even though you felt that way

morocco Tue 09-Sep-08 23:56:58

sad for you. do you think it was something hormonal?

BroccoliSpears Wed 10-Sep-08 00:00:36

It does sound as though something hormonal was misfiring. Sorry you had that experience CB.

charliebucket Wed 10-Sep-08 00:06:06

I don't know. It is very weird. I have a friend who said she had feelings of futility too, when a boyfriend was up to his tricks, but definitely not when she was breastfeeding. Have never been prone to any other hormonal symptoms - no mood swings, tearfulness or any kind of PMT.

I have to say I didn't breastfeed for that long - only a few weeks. It was too sad. After being full of guilt and worry each time I'd turn to formula it was always a huge relief not to have that emptiness anymore. A bit like Dementors from Harry Potter were circling every time my nipples were in use! But not with my husband - go figure. I don't get it at all and was hoping someone else might have had some similar story. Guess not....

But thanks for sympathy.

madmouse Wed 10-Sep-08 10:01:36

I have a milder form of this, also related to feelings in my nipples as a teen. Heavy, tired, empty. It was worse when expressing when ds in scbu, but to an extend I have it now still and he is 7months and happily combining bf and solids. I think it must be hormonal.

It is not jus tme then.

oops Wed 10-Sep-08 10:06:56

Message withdrawn

savetheplanetdontiron Wed 10-Sep-08 10:07:29

please have a talk to a breastfeeding counsellor aobut this even if you are no longer bf. I feel so sad that that was your experience and you did an amazing job to bf at all.

ChacunaSonGout Wed 10-Sep-08 10:15:44

charlie - yes i get you

i had what i call a 'bad feeling' whilst bf 5 children theopposite to what others reported i dreaded feeding

i also experienced a slightly nauseous feel at let -down

i have been slightly better with baby 6
'bleak' is an adjective i would use to describe how i felt and mine was not linked to pnd either

baltimore97 Wed 10-Sep-08 12:46:46

I felt the same too. I bf DD1 for a year, but only managed 11 weeks with DD2. I gave up because she was not gaining any weight, and even the breastfeeding councillor could not identify any latch problems. She is now much happier as a FF baby.

I can honestly say I never enjoyed a single feed with either of them. With DD1 I thought it was because she was a very tricky baby - fussing at every opportunity, distractable, refluxy, going through MANY nursing strikes. However, DD2 was much easier to feed, despite her not gaining weight, but I still felt dreadful.

When I finally made the decision to switch to formula with DD2 it was like life had begun again - and I have a MUCH better relationship with her and have really enjoyed her babyhood, whereas I feel the whole first year with DD1 was just a struggle from day to day.

Umlellala Wed 10-Sep-08 12:53:39

I used to feel like this about my nipples, but I assumed it was related to past abuse. Interesting it may also be hormonal. I occasionally get this/and nausea but bf is not unpleasant this time around - nearly 8 weeks now. For me, something switched when I realised it was breastfeeding not nipplefeeding...

ChacunaSonGout Wed 10-Sep-08 19:55:25

umlella sad

Umlellala Wed 10-Sep-08 22:19:24

Oh no, it's smile now! Feeding ds is great, am amazed when I think that I wasn't even going to consider bfing dd (therapist convinced me to try). OP, I wonder if it is hormonal or psychological the feelings - cos I do recognise? Maybe some therapy would be worth it?

ChacunaSonGout Wed 10-Sep-08 22:26:42

i was sad at abuse

very glad it is all good for you now!

op i think it is hormones with me

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: