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My 1 wk old hates my boobs!

(21 Posts)
Nezzi Wed 03-Sep-08 19:36:36

Please help!
my 1 wk old son will not latch on to my breast.
I have had to give him formula because he was so hungry he screamed the house down and we all got very stressed. I was close to tears and he was so upset I couldn't stand it any more.
He was born full term & weighed 8lbs, he's perfectly healthy so I don't know why he hates my breast so much that he won't latch on. Now that I'm giving him a mixture of formula and expressed breast milk by a bottle I'm worried that I have done the wrong thing.
Please help sad

pudding25 Wed 03-Sep-08 19:41:11

Call nct helpline and they will help you. Also ask midwife to get a bf counsellor to come to your house immediately to help you.

onwardandupward Wed 03-Sep-08 19:43:15

It's going to be ok!

He doesn't hate your boob at all, he just hasn't got the hang of latching on yet.

get yourself on the phone to a breastfeeding counsellor - the NCT line is 24 hours. See if you can get a breastfeeding counsellor to come round and help you get latched well (there will be people along soon with phone numbers for you, I'm sure - but the NCT is a good place to start!)

In the meantime, get yourself lying flat on your back in bed with top half nekkid, lie nekkid baby on your tummy just under your boob and watch them wriggle their way up to the breast - don't interfere, don't do anything except maybe just gently support their sides so they don't fall off. And enjoy the calm skin to skin between you. He might well manage to latch on that way, if you just back right off with the trying to get him on, and lie there smelling of mummyness.

Ewe Wed 03-Sep-08 19:43:48

Oh and he doesn't hate your breasts, 1 week old babies can't hate, he just isn't sure what to do with them! Call the helplines, look on the internet for videos on the perfect latch etc.

He is young enough to get it sorted and start thinking positively about your breasts!

Ewe Wed 03-Sep-08 19:44:35

La Leche League Call 0845 120 2918

ilovetochat Wed 03-Sep-08 19:44:41

how about a bit of skin to skin time just cuddling him and see if he roots for milk. don't be stressed, agree with pudding get the mw to come and help.

lulumama Wed 03-Sep-08 19:44:47

giving a bottle of formula is not a good idea at all, i;m afraid, he will get confused between sucking the bottle and latching on the breast.

the more formula you give, and the less he goes to the breast the harder it will be

if you want to establish breastfeeding you need some help NOW! NCT, la leche league are two places you can get help.

you can also google biological nurturing

try getting in the bath with him, and being quiet and calm and letting him find the breast and latch on

has he latched on at all>

Ewe Wed 03-Sep-08 19:45:46

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

www.abm.me.uk
Helpline: 08444 122 949
Offers voluntary mother-to-mother support, counselling and information for breastfeeding women. Helpline open from 9.30am to 10.30pm.

National Breastfeeding Helpline

Helpline: 0844 20 909 20
Funded by the Department of Health and staffed by trained volunteer mothers from the Breastfeeding Network and the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers. Lines are open 9.30am-9.30pm every day of the year.

NCT Breastfeeding helpline

Breastfeeding Line: 0870 444 8708
The National Childbirth Trust has trained breastfeeding counsellors who can offer individual advice and support.

Call now!!! grin

pinktree Wed 03-Sep-08 19:59:41

Hi Nezzi it is AWFUL when this happens my perfectly healthy baby boy never latched on. I would agree with pudding25 to seek all the support you can. Contact your HV too as there should be a breast feeding counselor in your area. I also when back to the hospital as there was a 'drop in' for breast feeding problems.

I was devastated when I finally gave in and gave my baby a bottle however I did fully express for 2 months but I wouldn't recommend this if you have other children. But the option is there and is possible if you feel strongly (you can hire double electric pumps from NCT).

I have come to the conclusion that my baby just didn't want to, he is a character still now and knows exactly what he wants. He's very healthy and big for his age now 2. Remember this time does pass and in about 6 months you can start introducing good healthy food for him that will really help thrive.

My friend recently had trouble with her newborn so she gave up for a week and then tried again and her baby is bf brilliantly now! I wonder if maybe her just having a break and RELAXING made all the difference. If you're worried and anxious the baby can pick up on this.

Good Luck

Becky77 Wed 03-Sep-08 20:09:11

My DD was exactly the same she screamed and screamed and wouldnt latch on... Midwives etc made matters worse by trying to shove her on to my boob and she just screamed more. The best thing I learned was that she could not latch on whilst she was crying...

Try and calm him down by letting him suck your finger or lifting him up in the air (sounds daft but it worked for me cos it distracts them). Then quickly but calmly bring him to your breast.

Hope that helps.

Nezzi Wed 03-Sep-08 23:03:06

Thank you all so much for your advice, you made me cry blush

This is my 1st baby and it is all so new it's a bit overwhelming.
There is a baby cafe near to where I live so I will try to get there tomorrow morning.
onward I'm going to retreat to my bed with my little one tomorrow afternoon and get nekkid with him, thank you so much smile
lulu he's never latched on, I don't think my nips are prominent enough for him although they are better now I've started expressing. We were cup feeding him EBM for a couple of days but he was so hungry and got very upset. I felt awful, he was only 3 days old, I couldn't carry on doing that to him sad
Ewe thanks for the numbers. I never thought to look on the net for videos on latching techniques. Doh!
Pinktree you're right, it is awful. I don't think my DP has any idea how much this bothers me, but that's my fault for not telling him [blush). Do men understand this? He's more than happy for our son to have bottle fed formula and if it comes to that then so be it but I'd at least like him to have breast milk for his 1st few months.
Becky77 Thank you, there is hope for me after all...

I'll let you all know how I get on, thanks again, MN angels wink

MommyHasaHeadache Wed 03-Sep-08 23:15:47

Hi there - my DD wouldn't latch on either. It turned out she had a sore neck and every time I tried to position her it would hurt her! I took her to a cranio and he helped sort her neck out - unfortunately it was too late by then, and he said she would never had latched on cos there was so much tension (poor babe was in too much pain). But your LO is still very young, so you are still in with a chance if you think this might be the case?

For latching problems, Dr Jack Newman is the guru!
Some videos here for you to watch.

Nezzi Thu 04-Sep-08 22:32:10

Hello all

I managed to get to the baby cafe and they were helpful and reassuring. It's not too late for me & my LO. We need time together in the quiet and hopefully he will learn soon.
Getting a quiet moment is a bit difficult right now as everybody wants to meet him but I will perservere.

Thank you all

charchargabor Thu 04-Sep-08 22:38:07

Here is a video of how breast crawl works {same as onward was talking about}. It's amazing really. Good luck!

sausage1230 Thu 04-Sep-08 22:45:23

Hello, if you can also get the docs to check for a tongue tie, my baby went for 4 months undiagnosed and i struggled at every feed but eventually went to see breastfeeding counsellor at my local hosp in desperation where it was discovered he had severe tongue tie, he had it snipped (not as awful as it sounds , he fell asleep while they did it!) and once done he fed soooo diferently, i thought it was my boobs were wrong shape, my nippes flat etc etc but it wasnt!!! It can take 6 weeks or so to get the hang of breastfeeding, remember he or she is learning what to do as well and they sometimes cry in frustration as they are hungry and want the milk NOW so a good way to help them is to offer the breast just before a feed is due then they aren't all anxious to start with, or even when they are half asleep/awake as they are very relaxed and it is easier to get them latched on... Most of all be calm you are doing well, you will get the hang of it x x x lisa x x x

jammi Thu 04-Sep-08 23:34:47

Message withdrawn

helips Fri 05-Sep-08 08:26:34

Echo what Sausage says, my ds also had tongue tie and I found bf incredibly difficult for the first couple of weeks. Latching him on was a nightmare, ds would be in tears, I would be in tears! Eventually his tongue stretched by itself and bf became easier. He is now 1 and I'm still bf, looking back to those first few weeks I can't believe I've got this far! Good luck to you and keep going, hopefully things will get easier for you too and you can start enjoying feeding your baby.

Nezzi Fri 05-Sep-08 16:54:07

Hi Charchar and thanks for posting the video. Beautiful. I will keep trying.
Sausage & Helips, I have an appt with the Dr on Monday so I will ask him to look for tongue tie.
We co-slept last night so hopefully we are getting to know each other a bit better now. He slept very well once he settled & if he did wake he fell asleep quickly knowing I was there.
Lets see what happens over the weekend...

helips Sat 06-Sep-08 18:41:38

That sounds positive Nezzi, hopefully he will latch on this weekend, fingers crossed for you!

Nezzi Sun 07-Sep-08 00:09:40

Hello all
Just a quick update.
I went to see an NCT breastfeeding advisor today, she was great. We didn't get my LO to latch but he certainly gave it a try. She says she's never defeated so fingers crossed...
Because of my flat nips, she suggested we try a nipple shield to give him something to get hold of. I got one from Boots but it doesn't seem to be working. Anybody had any experience with them?
I may have to invest in an electric breast pump too so the LO can at least have more EBM. The manual one is such hard going, I'd be attached to the bloody thing all day to get enough milk to feed him!! I'm scared I'm going to lose my milk if things don't pick up quickly sad
Bye for now
Nezzi

jabberwocky Sun 07-Sep-08 02:29:42

Nezzi, I had problems on one side with a flat nipple and a lo who was not amused by it. The nipple shield made a big difference. Did the consultant show you how to use it? The little flip thing so that it looks like a sombrero and wetting it so it sticks when you flip it down? Keep at it if you can. I didn't know about nipple shields with my first one and wound up exclusively pumping. Definitely need a double electric pump if you go that route.

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