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Is anyone else getting 'bitty' comments because they are still breastfeeding????!!!!

(65 Posts)
ILikeYourSleeves Sun 24-Aug-08 16:03:29

DS is almost 10 months old and his auntie wanted to look after him for the afternoon yesterday which was great. DH and I went into town for a baby free wander and were away for about 3 hours. When I got back to the inlaws DS started pawing at my boobs when he saw me, obviously rather peckish as he didn't have much food for lunch as he is teething just now. So sister in law says 'are you still feeding him?' to which I say 'yes but only really a few times a day now ha ha though he must be hungry just now' etc etc, to which the conversation between sister in law and mother in law immediately turns into laughing about 'bitty' and them talking (again.... yawn) about a mother who was still feeding her son when he started school (OMG shock horror call the police!).

It's starting to piss me off a bit that every time I'm asked if I'm STILL feeding DS they start taking the piss in a round about way. My family are the same, joking that he'll still be getting breastfed when he's 18 etc. Argh! I do end up spouting off WHO guidelines but I think they are thinking it's a bit weird as DS is getting older. Does anyone else get the 'bitty' treatment or is it just my weirdo family???

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 16:05:23

I=not from family at all

BUT I'M waiting for some twat to start

I'm feeding gecko at the mo and she is 19 months

They will be starting with the wrong woman believe me

BouncingTurtle Sun 24-Aug-08 16:07:04

Funnily enough, I've just be on the phone to my dad in Spain and he asked me if I'm still bfing ds (nearly 8mo) and I told him yes. He then asked when I was going to stop - I said well I don't have to so we'll stop when were ready, and told him that the recommendations were for at least 2 years. My DSM was very approving grin

DisplacementActivity Sun 24-Aug-08 16:07:07

Message withdrawn

ChairmumMiaow Sun 24-Aug-08 16:08:16

My ante natal lot are starting to talk about weaning from the breast. One is weaning to formula (but because she is TTC so I can understand that more) and none of the others intend to BF past 1, if that long. I haven't had it yet, but I tell them frankly that we're planning to BF DS till at least 2 if that's what he wants, as per WHO guidelines. I'm not sure if they believe me, but I reckon I'll get funny looks when we get past a year (currently 7mo)

HeadFairy Sun 24-Aug-08 16:10:10

Yeah, I get it from my mum quite a bit despite her having bf my sister and I. She thinks I'm bonkers to go beyond 4 or 5 months. Ignore ignore ignore. Deep breath... and relax

KristinaM Sun 24-Aug-08 16:10:23

i am shock at your family. i am still feeding DS2 who is 2 1/2. I have never had anyone rude enough to say things like this, dont knwo what i woudl say.....

perhaps i woudl be tempted to get in there first and say " Oh yes, i am planning to continue until he starts school - high school i mean"

no doubt other will coem along soon with soem clever witty comments for your annoying family angry

juneybean Sun 24-Aug-08 16:15:14

What a bloody society we live in, we get disapproving comments if we don't breastfeed, we get disapproving comments if we breastfeed too long!!!

cyteen Sun 24-Aug-08 16:20:34

ILikeYourSleeves, your inlaws have obviously got shite taste in telly as well as being rather rude. Just roll your eyes in superior fashion and ask them not to be so crap

Wisknit Sun 24-Aug-08 16:26:49

Just a bit angry on your behalf. How bloody rude!

PopUpElton Sun 24-Aug-08 16:34:38

I had this from a mum at toddler group when dd was about 14 months old, and I mentioned she was still having a feed at bedtime. I think it is unbelievably rude. I was particularly pissed off because this woman had an 11 month old and was 8 months pg shock so must have known perfectly well how irritating it is having rude people make nudge nudge type nosy comments to you (I hadn't commented on her circs btw, I mind my own bloody business and was brought up to know that making 'personal remarks' is rude rude rude).

I hate Little Britain actually, apart from all the lazy catchphrase over reliance, it is a type of humour that presumes there is a standard 'norm' for human behaviour and encourages people to mock those who fall outside it.

Ceolas Sun 24-Aug-08 16:37:37

What I don't get is why do they care? Really, what on earth does it have to do with them?

Steeling myself as I know it'll start for me soon (my mum and FiL). DD3 will be 1 next week

PopUpElton Sun 24-Aug-08 16:46:48

Exacly, no one is forcing them to do it are they? I think though when mums are confronted with other mums making different choices from them, it is all too easy to feel like 'well she is doing x, whereas I am doing y, therefore she must think I am doing stuff wrong'. We seemingly cannot help but take random parenting differences very personally - look at the barneys people have on here! I think it is shite that women do so much lashing out at each other instead of supporting though - so much for sisterhood.

charchargabor Sun 24-Aug-08 16:57:10

I took DD to see the nurse practitioner a few weeks ago with tonsilitis, about 4 days after her first birthday. NP asks if she's drinking enough, and I said she's still breastfed and having lots of feeds so there's nothing to worry about in that respect. She gave me the most disgusted look! angry Even if I was quitting now, which I'm not, surely babies don't just stop magically on their 1st birthday? You've got to wean them off slowly, so she'd still be bfing anyway. It really annoyed me!

Whereas I went to the walk in for tonsilitis a week later, and the NP there didn't bat an eyelid! Although she did tell me to drink plenty so my milk didn't dry up [rolling eyes emoticon]

ILikeYourSleeves Sun 24-Aug-08 22:07:16

Thanks for all your messages, but it's sad that others have had similar experiences angry

I fully intend to keep feeding DS until he wants to stop (or until we TTC again) and sod other peoples comments!

sushistar Sun 24-Aug-08 22:11:43

Rude. Really rude. DS is 8 months and I am feeling the pressure - when you bfeed a 1 month old in public, you get smiles - and 8 month old? Dubious looks... and my mum has already made a couple of comments...

DS is 13 months and nobody's said anything. MIL didn't say anything negative but I got the impression she thought it must be a terrible drain on me or something. My sisters and I self-weaned around 1 so mum's been OK so far. I like to think nobody would sare to say anything. If they did I have no idea how I'd react. Cheerful matter-of-factness, I think.

People are such gits.

pudding25 Sun 24-Aug-08 22:27:35

What I just don't get is why the hell people are so goddam rude to feel they can comment. It is none of their business. Fair enough, they are entitled to their opinion but to have a go is just downright rude.

I was told when I got pregnant that people would feel it was their business to tell me what to do and it is true. What annoys me most is the biggest load of crap I am being told and the insinuation that I don't know what I am talking about and that the new health regulations are a load of rubbish. I am not just talking about bf but the amount of stick i have had from my mil and mother about the fact that I am going to try not to give dd solids until 6 mths. My mother told me that the WHO dont know what they are talking about.
I was also told that I should start thinking about weaning dd. She is only 3mths ffs. You know, I only thought I would bf her for a wk! Now that I can do it without any probs, why would I stop at 3mths.
Anyway, my standard line to mil and mother now is 'congratulations on passing your degree in paediatrics'

As for the professionals themselves - everyone tells me something different. What a load of nonsense.
Rant over!

ILikeYourSleeves Sun 24-Aug-08 22:31:23

Weaning at 3 months???? Who told you that Pudding? shock I'm finding the older generation are so stuck in their ways, thinking it's still fine to shove rusks in bottles etc hmmmmmmmmmm hmm

jojo76 Sun 24-Aug-08 22:33:43

I just don't get why people care so much, when it actually doesn't have any effect on them whatsoever. Poor them if they have so little in their own life to think about that they have to obsess about how long you breastfeed your own child!!! My aunt went through a phase of constantly asking if I was "still" feeding ds2, and I only fed him till he was one. Aren't people weird...

theSuburbanDryad Sun 24-Aug-08 22:35:27

MIL regularly tells me i need to wean ds as the new baby won't have enough milk. It doesn't matter how many times i quote WHO or DoH guidelines at her, or how many times i tell her how tandem nursing works, it's every time i see her, she says i need to wean!!

It doesn't help that ds asks for milk by going, "More bitty?" No idea why, strange child.

RhinestoneCowgirl Sun 24-Aug-08 22:39:12

I fed DS until just before his second birthday, mainly stopped as I was pg and uncomfortable, we weaned really gently. I did get a couple of 'bitty' comments in the later months which really pissed me off as I didn't counter them properly. Determined to be more assertive this time round! (DC2 due in December)

ILYS - your DS is such a baby still and is obv still really benefiting from your fantastic milk. How rude of anyone else to make snide jokes about it shock

FWIW recently with HCPs I have had nothing but positive comments - MW was v positive htat still feeding DS when we discussed it at booking. Also when took DS to the nurse as he had lurgy we got talking about it and she said how great it was to continue, and so good for their health too. Helped to restore the balance for me somewhat. On down days I sometimes felt like a bit of an oddity...

PortAndLemon Sun 24-Aug-08 22:39:26

I'd tell them that David Walliams is 36, while your child is 10 months old. And if they can't tell the difference and/or judge what is appropriate for a 10 month old by what would be appropriate for a 36 year old then you have grave qualms about leaving him in their care...

Milkycheeks Sun 24-Aug-08 22:42:45

DD is very nearly 1 and still bf morning, evening & in night and occasionally in the day. Family are fine with it but some friends (all mums of babies a similar age) seem to think i'm mad to still be bfing, especially at night. One friend made a remark a while back about another mum who was bfing her 7 mth old, saying that she thought bfing a baby with teeth was weird hmm so i don't feel comfortable bfing in front of her anymore (though i will if necessary of course). I hate the fact that I'm starting to feel uncomfotable bfing in public and hate having to feel that I have to justify it by quoting WHO etc. - am now ready to politely but firmly tell people to butt out when they start suggesting "methods" for getting dd to stop bfing [she says assertively, knowing full well she'll just nod politely and change the subject grin]

stretchmarkqueen Sun 24-Aug-08 22:58:19

I get it from my family. DS is 14 weeks sad

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