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am i being unreasonable to be sick and tired of bf :-(

(11 Posts)
asicsgirl Sat 23-Aug-08 16:18:55

i bf ds1 for over a year and had no real problems. so i was expecting to be fine again with ds2 (now 3 months).

ds2 had a tongue tie which made feeding very hard at the beginning, altho' he improved a lot since having it snipped. he now sleeps through most nights and is a very happy sunny boy who is a real giggle to be around most of the time.

i have been to bf cafe and read a book which helped with positioning, but feeding is still problematic quite a lot of the time - ds2 pops and clicks and takes in lots of air, so he has lots of wind, so if he goes off to sleep he often wakes up with a burp and won't go back to sleep. some feeds are a real struggle with him wriggling and struggling and crying. i can't concentrate properly on doing anything else when it's like this, e.g. playing with ds1, as i had fondly imagined i would when still pg. so i end up feeling like i'm watching family life happen around me, with dp cooking and playing with ds1 etc, while i'm stuck struggling with the feeding.

dp tries really hard to be supportive. he takes the boys out for a walk so i have an hour or so off but it's rarely much longer than that. ds2 will take a bottle of ebm (tho' that's often a struggle too!) but i find expressing exhausting and depressing too... i do it in the morning but can't face doing it at other times too, which is what i find i need to do if dp feeds ds2 during the day.

all in all i'm just sick and tired of it all. i can't contemplate giving up bf or even mix feeding - don't flame me, it's just how i feel, i can't countenance the idea. so i feel like i'm just stuck here for the next however many months... sad

i originally posted this in AIBU because it feels like that - do i jsut have to get with the programme? or is there something i am missing?

BabiesEverywhere Sat 23-Aug-08 16:30:36

{{{Hugs}}} I know mumsnet doesn't do hugs normally but I felt you need some ATM.

If you hate expressing , could you not stop doing that. If you time it right DH should be able to take DS's out straight after a feed and bring him back in time for his next one. (assuming you get a gap of 1/2 hours between feeds)

Are there any local support groups appart from the BF cafe which you go out to ?

asicsgirl Sat 23-Aug-08 17:16:45

thanks for the hugs babieseverywhere, much appreciated. dp does take the boys out like that normally - he only feeds ds2 occasionally. i am expressing now partly because ds2 will eventually go to nursery p-t when i go back to work and i remember stressing out when ds1 went to nursery about not having enough milk to feed him (as i never managed to express as much during the day as he drank, so i was always running to catch up iyswim). so i am partly building up my 'stock' in the freezer, lol.

local support groups... not sure where to look apart from the bf cafe...?

howtobehated Sat 23-Aug-08 17:20:52

ask hv about support groups, i've been going to mine for a year and its great!

moondog Sat 23-Aug-08 17:24:36

It soundsbloody wearing and perfectly reasonable to find b/feeding hard work even when you want to do it.

I was avid b/feeder and hated it sometimes.
You sound like yuo have gone through the mill.

ABM magazine archives have some useful stuff on tongue tie.
Wonder also if your pump not up to job? ABM hire out industrial numbers. grin
I struggled with an Isis Avent with 1st baby then used an electric Medela with second. Difference was unbelievable.

birdinatent Sat 23-Aug-08 17:26:26

Your post makes me so sad,I know how hard bf can be sad

It is terribly controversial to say especially on MN but giving up bf is not the worst thing in the world. You have managed for 3 months, which is longer than I ever did!!

I hate to think of mums being miserable and feeling under pressure to carry on with something that is making them unhappy, formula is not poison, and a happy mum is better than a stressed out sad mum smile

God I'm in for it now!!!!!!!!

Best of luck whatever you decide.

asicsgirl Sat 23-Aug-08 17:41:42

thanks all. htbh i will ask hv, she told me about bf cafe, she may know of others.

moondog - good to hear that other avid bfers feel like this too! i don't want to 'let the side down' but sometimes god i just hate it. i will look at the abm magazine archives, thanks for that. i have got a good electric pump - but i still hate it, lol, just can't stand feeling like i'm in a milking parlour, pathetic i know.

birdinatent thank you too. i don't really feel under pressure to continue bf except from myself! i felt the same way with ds1. i would never try to put anyone else under pressure to continue if they were unhappy, but it's just the way i am i think - i can't imagine giving up. at times with ds1 i felt like it was the only thing i was any good at mothering-wise... don't feel like that so much now but it is still very important to me to continue.

moondog Sat 23-Aug-08 17:47:20

Are you up for some inspiring reading or are you just bloody sick of the whole damned tihng? grin

If you need some inner strength, I recommend 'The politics of Breastfeeding' Gabrielle Palmer which changed my life in the days when I really wanted to run away.

BabiesEverywhere Sat 23-Aug-08 17:54:37

Hunker's blog makes interesting reading.

Plus it has the numbers for the breastfeeding help lines. If you want to have a shoulder to cry on, those lines have trained mothers, ready to listen and help you.


asicsgirl Sat 23-Aug-08 17:54:59

i'll give it a go moondog! if ds2 will sit still long enough for me to concentrate, lol

asicsgirl Sat 23-Aug-08 17:59:07

thanks for the link babieseverywhere

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