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Advice on night weaning 13month old please...

(15 Posts)
mamachat Thu 21-Aug-08 16:15:46

I have been trying to day wean dd for a few weeks now, she only has milk untill 9am and after 7pm.

When she is moody I give in and feed maybe once in the after noon to settle her.

Now I really want to night wean too. I think it is going to be very difficult, dd wakes every 1-2 hours in the night to comfort suck. The other night she woke up for milk but my breasts felt empty so don't think she could get any for a while and got upset and kept me awake for ages...

So any advice welcome. If I try not to bf when she wakes and give water instead she get very upset...

missbumpy Thu 21-Aug-08 18:57:28

I night weaned my 10mo old recently. She had gone from a baby who slept through (miraculously!) to a baby who woke up several times in the night and I'd give in and feed her because it was the quickest way for me to get back to sleep! Anyway, the bottom line is you've just got to do it (assuming you've decided that that's what you want to do). There's no easy way. DD was really unimpressed for a couple of nights as I was just offering her water and lots of cuddles. Prepare yourself for a few nights where you get less sleep than usual because you're pacing up and down trying to comfort a screaming baby. Maybe warn the neighbours! I'd say that by night 3 we were over the worst of it. It literally only took a couple of nights of being strong willed (and knackered!). She's now sleeping from 7pm to about 3am when she wakes up for a quick cuddle but no milk, then back to sleep until 5 or 6ish when she gets her 1st feed.
Good luck!

mamachat Thu 21-Aug-08 19:03:20

The only problem is, I have no other way of getting her to sleep at the moment, in the day I take her out in the car or pram so she can nap.

And nighttime I bf to sleep... When I try other methods like rocking to sleep or singing, which other family members use this never works for me and she gets upset untill I give her the breast....

missbumpy Thu 21-Aug-08 19:47:50

I know it seems impossible. Until recently DD would only BF to sleep but she stopped of her own accord and now needs a lot of rocking and walking around (think I preferred it when she nodded off while feeding wink).

It'll be hard work but she'll sleep eventually. I promise Have you read the baby sleep book by Dr Sears?

Stefka Thu 21-Aug-08 20:28:32

I am in the middle of this process. I had to leave him to cry a bit. Not something I ever wanted to do but in the end it worked and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I never leave him long but to be honest after the first time which was half an hour he usually only grumps on and off for five minutes now. I went cold turkey in the end because I found that he was confused by me feeding him sometimes in the night and not others. Tonight is night four and each night has been a bit easier.

mamachat Thu 21-Aug-08 22:15:37

missbumpy - I have not read that book but have read a few already... How old is your dd?

mamachat Thu 21-Aug-08 22:17:16

stefka - good luck, hope it goes well, how old is ds? I sometimes think I should try that with dd but she is the kind of baby that would just get really worked up and not stop crying untill I give in...

Stefka Fri 22-Aug-08 09:06:48

10 months. I thought he would be the same but he wasn't in the end. I think my fear of where he would go with it was greater than the reality. The first time was the hardest. Last night was night four and he woke up twice. Once at half 12 for less than five minutes - left him to it and he grumped and went back to sleep. Then at half five when DH came in from work and did the same thing. Real progress for him!!

With the crying I did five mins then check, ten mins then check and then 15 mins. If he was still crying at that point I would BF him but he never has been. He usually stops after a couple of minutes now although the first time was half an hour.

missbumpy Fri 22-Aug-08 19:59:29

DD's 10 months too. I didn't leave DD to cry at all. I'd pick her up straight away but just cuddle her/rock her/walk her around until she went back to sleep (which admittedly took a long time on the first night!).

Hello Stefka

jellyrolly Fri 22-Aug-08 20:16:37

mamachat, I'm about to wean my 11month old ds. I had great and unexpected success with pick up put down with him to drop his night feeds. I could not believe it would work but it did and he now sleeps 7 til 6. Have you considered it?

mamachat Fri 22-Aug-08 22:08:17

jellyrolly - i read the book on PU/PD, I can't see it working but I will have to try something as it is getting out o control...

was your ds quite persistant? dd is very persistant...

Stefka Sat 23-Aug-08 15:24:16

PU/PD drove my DS nuts. He just got more worked up and annoyed with it. Each time I put him down he was more and more upset. Walking around sometimes worked and sometimes upset him. I think it was keeping him awake actually. In the end I felt I had tried everything so left him to work it out a bit for himself. Not something I ever planned to do but as I said it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and last night when he woke up I went in, kissed him and he rolled over with his blanket and went back to sleep straight away with no tears at all and that was night four

Hello there missb!

jellyrolly Sat 23-Aug-08 22:11:35

Yes he is very persistent, stubborn and furious which is why I couldn't believe it worked with him. Stefka, I'm sorry it didn't work for you but glad he settled himself in the end. Good luck tonight. long may it continue.

Obviously not for everyone but maybe worth a try. The first few times he was apoplectic with rage but I think it did something to his brain all that repetitive physical stuff and he seemed to get it after a few nights. Can your dp/dh help?

mamachat Sat 23-Aug-08 22:27:09

stefka - that sounds great, I am just soooo scared to try it, I am doing it alone as just broke up with dp and feeling quite stressed, so worried about trying anything at the moment, but i know i need to do something as can not continue night feeds forever...

Stefka Sun 24-Aug-08 07:23:18

Alone is really hard. The first time I did it I did it in the day with my sister in law round to hold my hand and her little one was in another room doing the same thing. Once I had done it once and knew that DS had gone to sleep and not exploded or anything it gave me confidence to see it through.

Is there anyone who could come round and help you have a go in the day or just for the first part of the night? The other thing that helped me was setting that limit so I knew if he was still crying after the 5, 10, 15 mins then I would feed him. He never was though.

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