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Help!! I am trying to wean ds2 of breast, He is crying and refusing bottle. feel ready to give in.

(74 Posts)
champs Tue 15-Feb-05 16:52:43

Ho all. I am pg and have been advised to stop bf as I am sick and v. tired. Ds is 1 and a half so is ok to stop bf. The thing is as some of you may remember (i went on enough about it)
he doesn't take bottle, I tried a cup and a soft spout. He has taken a couple since I started to wean yesturday but he is now crying for so long I feel horrid. I am going to cry too. I feel v.bad but i dont enjoy bf as am pg and nipples are tender.
I need help!!!!
I still gave breast last night as I dont want to cut him off completely.

champs Tue 15-Feb-05 16:53:00

ooops meant hi!!

hermykne Tue 15-Feb-05 17:01:19

oh golly, champs, how old is he? how many times were u feeding him in day? have stopped suddenly or have u reduced number of feeds

champs Tue 15-Feb-05 17:24:09

1 and half.
I feed him whenever he wants it which is very often. I have reduced feeds for a while but am stopping day feeds all together.

HappyMumof2 Tue 15-Feb-05 17:32:02

Message withdrawn

lilybubble Tue 15-Feb-05 17:36:02

How many different cups have you tried? It is worth persevering with a few, as they are so different. My dd is still bf, but only at bedtime (nap and night) and happily drinks water the rest of the time from several different cups. She has always refused bottles too!

Twiglett Tue 15-Feb-05 17:36:04

he doesn't need milk during the day .. just give him water, he's no doubt eating enough

unfortunately you'll have to grit your teeth and bear it .. they say it can take up to 3 weeks to unlearn a habit .. and that's what bf is at that age a habit

personally I'd continue night-time feeding until he's weaned during the day then slowly drop that one too .. that way your boobs will feel better too


champs Tue 15-Feb-05 17:36:42

ty happy, have been trying that. it really seems worse if he can see me he keeps saying there!! and I cant look at him, or he cries louder!!

HappyMumof2 Tue 15-Feb-05 17:41:35

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champs Tue 15-Feb-05 17:47:47

yes happy thats what I'm aiming for. Really dont want him to feel pushed away by baby.
I am 14 and 1/2 weeks.
Thanks for your kindness!!

Kiwicath Tue 15-Feb-05 18:31:21

Hi Champs. I'm also pregnant and still feeding 14 month old X3 per day. He also refuses milk from a beaker even though he guzzles down his water from it. Be reasurred though that he doesn't need the milk as a drink as long as he's getting it in other ways ie cheese sauces, yogurts etc. I too want/need to stop feeding before #2 arrives and have already cut from 4-3. I just kept him busy and gave him a snack instead of boob and he didn't even notice. Saying that, the next 3 are going to be a bit tricker. Hang in there and good luck.

HappyMumof2 Tue 15-Feb-05 18:36:57

Message withdrawn

emkana Tue 15-Feb-05 19:47:02

Hi champs,
I was still b/feeding my dd1 when I got pregnant with dd2. At the time dd1 was still feeding lots and lots, and I was feeling sick and tired too, and I panicked a bit about how things would turn out. In the end I kept feeding her, though, and she eventually self-weaned at 2 years, just after the birth of her sister. She wasn't jealous of dd2 at all, on the contrary, it was a bit as if she "passed on" the breast to the baby who needed the milk more than her.
I read a lot about long-term breastfeeding and 18 months is notorious for being an age when toddlers go a bit b/feeding mad. Soon after it calms down and they lose interest a bit. If trying to wean him off is very hard I think it might actually be easier for both of you if you just carry on and wait and see.
One thing I would really like to emphasize:
Breastfeeding at this age is not just a "habit". To a toddler this age breastfeeding means reassurance, love, and also lots and lots of healthy stuff in the milk. The WHO has good reasons to recommend breastfeeding until age two.

I can understand if you want to wean him now, but I just wanted to show you that there might be other options, and that there are good reasons to carry on, too.
Good luck, whatever you do.

morningpaper Tue 15-Feb-05 19:49:33

Buy some 'proper' cups. He only needs to take water or something. Try some tweenies mug-style cups and see how he goes with them.

I'd recommend getting your partner to see to him throughout the night.

morningpaper Tue 15-Feb-05 19:50:56

emkana I agree. My best friend has just had no.2 and is still feeding no.1 but just once a day. She says it made it especially easy to express when her no.2 was born early and was in special care, because she already had a good supply.

HunkerMunker Tue 15-Feb-05 19:55:44

Hi Champs

Have you read a book called How Weaning Happens? It's published by La Leche League and it's got lots of stories from mothers who either let their baby wean or 'helped' the process. The main thing is never to offer and never to refuse.

Is he distracted from wanting to nurse? Is there anyone else who can help distract him? I'd say try to go with it for the moment if you can (but feeling tired and sick can't help), don't make a big thing of it, but do try to make drinking from a cup very exciting (favourite character from TV, etc). Hugs, hun! xxx

motherinferior Tue 15-Feb-05 19:56:34

Hey, champs! Congratulations!

HunkerMunker Tue 15-Feb-05 19:57:11

Ooh, yes, congrats on the pregnancy too!

Gwenick Tue 15-Feb-05 20:24:08

he WHO has good reasons to recommend breastfeeding until age two.

Some may not like me saying this, and before you start on me YES I do belive that WHO gives a LOT of excellent advice. BUT I personaly feel that a lot of the WHO advice is aimed more at the majority of women in the world, ie those living in poorer "3rd world" countries. In those countries children/toddlers are MUCH less likely to get a healthy balanced meal that most of our children are probably eating. so YES they DO need the 'good stuff' in breastmilk into toddlerhood.

I on the otherhand believe that where a balanced diet is freely available the nessecity for BF until 2 is much less. I stopped BF DS1 at 14 months, partly through his 'choice' and partly through my own.

As someone else has said they'll probably be getting all of the goodness they need from other foods now so milk IS just an extra (DS1 when weaned of the breast didn't drink ANY milk until he was nearly 3yrs old - hated the stuff!) but got everything he needed from his food.

Gwenick Tue 15-Feb-05 20:26:04

and now just to be even more irritating and annoying I've got to go and clean my kitchen floor and iron some stuff which I was too lazy to fold when it came out of the tumble dryer so won't be able to respond for 1hr or so

SenoraPostrophe Tue 15-Feb-05 20:28:53

champs - I have the same problem (though I'm not preg). Tried dropping ds's before nap feed the other day and he slept 3/4 of an hour and woke up screaming, then was grumpy till i fed him and put him back to bed.

God, if I did the "never refuse" thing i'd still be feeding him all day! How does that work?

hercules Tue 15-Feb-05 20:32:47

err Gwenick. That's not true. The advice about 2 years is aimed at all women. It is a common mistake to believe it is aimed at women in underdeveloped countries......
PArt of the reason is because of allergies, excema and asthma.

hercules Tue 15-Feb-05 20:34:11

A good diet does not give a child everything that breastmilk can.

hercules Tue 15-Feb-05 20:44:42

Not to mention the health benefits to mum.

hercules Tue 15-Feb-05 20:46:37

Sorry, last point. It's not to 2 years but minimum 2 years. Sorry, champs to hijack, just niggles me to see incorrect stuff about bf.

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