someone please give me the strength/sanity/will power to go on

[dizzydixies]

dd3 was born on 31st July be c/section and we haven't had the best of feeding ever since

I've taken to hibernating in my bedroom with her as its the only place I can get comfortable for feeding

if she's not fed the instant she's awake she is furious - which makes nappy changing/bath time etc great fun

both my nipples are cracked/grazed although we now seem to have sorted out the latching on issues - its only toe curlingly painful for the first 10-15 seconds and any more and she gets moved - have used half a tub of nipple cream already - the same cream which one tub of lasted through both dd1 and dd2

she was 9lb14oz so has a strong suck and I definately felt my milk come in BUT she is feeding both sides and still waking every two hours for a feed

needless to say I am shattered, emotional and wondering if she is even getting enough - she's lost 10oz since she was born and the mw is coming to weigh her again at the beginning of the week

dh keeps offering to steralise the bottles and give her some formula and at this rate I can feel myself getting more and more tempted by it even though I bf my my first two for 8 and 6 months

anyone got any words of wisdom please?

[scorpio1]

hello my lovely

do you have any thrush signs? sorry cant type v well M in arms

[dizzydixies]

no sweetie just bruised and battered and sad nips

she's quite happily sucking on dh's finger at the moment - only thing to stop her crying other than feeding but am not keen to introduce a dummy at 9days old

[scorpio1]

You sound like you have the right idea going to bed to feed, alot more peaceful etc.

when i first started bf dh went on about bottles - i told him to stop cos it wasnt helping, having the idea in my face iyswim.

Are you 'just' very tired?

[scorpio1]

hopefully someone more qualified will pop in

[dizzydixies]

am shattered, the two weeks before she was born were so stressful and I freely admit I am so upset about my mum still but I'd never imagined I would bury mum and have a baby 2 days later

this is why I've been so determined to stay in my bed, no visitors or phone calls etc and get feeding established

am quite sure baby blues mixed in bereavement haven't helped but surely that can't affect milk supply?

[catinthehat]

.

[dizzydixies]

am also borderline on iron - they told me to come home and have an iron rich diet otherwise they'd start me on iron supplements, am not sure whether or not to ask for them anyway

dh been a star and taking the girls out, coking etc but its difficult to explain to a 5 and 2yr old why mummy and new baby are in bed all day

[scorpio1]

it is hard, i know. bumping for a BF person...

[nickytwotimes]

Poor you.
What a horrible thing to happen just before your baby arrived.
I have no advice, just bumping.

[IlanaK]

Hi Dizzy - I just want to reassure you that feeding two hourly for a newborn is not a sign of low milk supply. As hard as it is, it really is normal. Saul is almost 3 weeks now, his latch is fine and I know my milk supply is fine. He feeds roughly two hourly as well, day and night. I co-sleep with him which helps so much. I just don't get out of bed at night. I feed him laying down and just plonk him back in the middle of me and dh when he is finished feeding. If a nappy needs changing, I poke dh to get up and do it. I am tired, but getting just about enough sleep by doing this to cope with the day.

With the bereavment you had, it is not suprising you are feeling low. Feeding does settle down with time as I am sure you know. If you are still feeling pain, then it is worth getting some help with positioning, but other than that I would say you are doing great and to stick with it.

[dizzydixies]

IlanaK am just trying to remember what happened with the other 2 and they both went for about 4 or 5 hrs sleep inbetween feeds - I know they were both bigger than dd3 but can't help comparing as its all I know

am co-sleeping too and dh is doing his part at nights too bless him but I have to sit up to feed as she has a habit of pulling away at the end of the feed rather than just letting go and this is whats causing the damage to reoccur

have checked the latch with each midwife I've seen and was constantly asking for help when in the hopsital - am pretty sure we've got the latch right now, I just need time let them heal inbetween feeds

[IlanaK]

My first went 4 hours between feeds so I know it is hard to not compare. But honestly, two hourly is normal - 4 hourly is not. My husband fights it a bit - "he can't need feeding again". But I find it easier to not watch the clock and just go with the flow. As you feel more confident, if you can come out of the bedroom, it will be easier on your younger ones. Also, if you can work on feeding laying down at night, you will feel much more rested I think.

[dizzydixies]

right thats me, times up and feeding again - will try and check back later

thanks guys

[mads1]

you sound like your doing a fantastic job. Can't offer any bf advice apart from hang on in there. It can get better! I had problems in the first two weeks and took it one week at a time. Dd2 is now 6 weeks old and we are just about settled with bf. Good job on staying in bed. You don't need the stress of any thing else right now.
Can you phone a bf counsellor or advice line?
Sorry to hear about your mum too. Take it easy and you can make it through. Do what is right for you as well as baby.
Hope you get some professional help soon. Xxx

[baltimore97]

This is only anectodal, I know, but a friend suffered a bereavment when her DD was 8 weeks old and her milk totally dried up as a result. So I'm not saying your supply is affected by your low state, but it may be possible.

However, I'm no expert and apologise if this goes against research/wisdom of those who know better.

[catinthehat]

.

[wastingmyeducation]

I read on here or kellymom about iron levels affecting supply, so I would suggest taking the supplements, especially if you're feeling so tired. I can't see why they didn't give you them anyway.
Sorry you're having a tough time.

xx

[dizzydixies]

I pretty much fed all evening after being on here but then she slept a bit better during the night - dd2 was up all night though - sods law

I really hope that it is to do with low iron rather than grief - mw to be phoning this morning so will ask her when she calls

they didn't put me on iron supplements just told me to have a high iron diet as I was borderline, didn't quite understand it myself either as one minute I was going to need a drip due to blood loss, then they said I would actually be ok on supplements then was sent home with nothing but iron rich diet advice - i.e eat lots of red meat - just what I need at the moment

will let you know how I get on with the mw
thank you for all your help

[dizzydixies]

midwife has just phoned and she's told me that as long as we're getting plenty wet/dirty nappies then it should all be fine and that dd3 is just in a different routine than my other two dds

I've been advised to start taking a multi vitamin with iron in it - fair enough, I have the pregnancy one which should do it and if that doesn't help then off to GP to get actual supplements

didn't mention the whole grief thing she isn't my lovely lovely midwife but the terrible efficient no nonsense one and I don't want her to think am losing my marbles completely

god knows what my post natal assessment is going to come back as this time

[dizzydixies]

oh lord, now am wondering if I should have asked her if grief affects supply - not the kind of thing you can google is it?