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Feeding 16 mth old to sleep still - need some reasurance...

(9 Posts)
Tangle Thu 07-Aug-08 23:06:13

To start out, I don't think I want to stop feeding DD to sleep. In general I lean more towards the attachment parenting end of things, and figure if she wakes up and wants/needs milk/comfort/reasurance then who am I to tell her she can't have it. However, there's a couple of things that I'd like to change if I could.

How long should it take for DD to go back to sleep? At the moment I'm looking at 20 minutes as a best case scenario, more liklely 30 and (when it all goes pear shaped) 2 hours. That I find hard to deal with.

During the night she is totally 100% a mummy's girl. If she wakes up and DH goes in the screams increase in pitch and volume until I get there. If I'm not around she'll keep it up for over an hour (when he gives in and puts her in the car - she'll fall asleep until he stops driving...).

I've tried co-sleeping but don't find it works so well (the bed isn't ideal, and I'm too tense to sleep well). I've looked at "The No Cry Sleep Solution" but haven't got too far - she's not a soft toy kind of girl, and if I try and take my nipple away when she's dozy it usually results in screams and a return to full wakefullness.

Looking back at this I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for, other than maybe to know that I'm not alone. Most of the time I do believe that this is a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things and I am (honest wink) fairly happy with the way things are. But at 2 in the morning after sitting up for 90 minutes it can be hard to remember that.

WilfSell Thu 07-Aug-08 23:12:16

Same here if it helps (though only 12m)

I've no idea whether to try and change things or what to change but we are officially and utterly knackered from either getting up, sitting up or co-sleeping which is more co-being-climbed-on-kicked-pinched-and-dribbled-on-not-to-mention-the-random-being-patted-on-the-hea d-which-is-more-like-a-slap-ing.

If you get my drift grin

Need a magic wand don't we?

whomovedmychocolate Thu 07-Aug-08 23:15:48

Oh blimey - DD stopped needing to feed to sleep when I was forceably hospitalised during my last pregnancy and that was when she was 20 months old. If she wakes in the night DH can now settle her - however if I wiggle a boob in her face she'll be asleep in five minutes versus his 40 minutes of shushing and patting. The way I see it, I'm economical in terms of time and it's nice to be needed too.

DD was kicked summarily out of our bed at 3 months old Wilfsell when she attempted to latch onto DH's nipple at 3am (she had teeth then and didn't mind using them to demonstrate her unhappiness that daddy didn't have milk grin).

Tangle Thu 07-Aug-08 23:17:52

Sounds about right. Do you think JK Rowling can help?

DDs latest trick whilst cosleeping (for want of a better word) is latching on, then trying to roll such that the back of her head is against my sternum... Or trying to get to the well known "feet and forehead" position, whilst her forehead is on my arm. Very relaxing hmm

I do feel I'm truly learning about acrobatic nursing. I'm just not sure its a good thing!

Bless her grin

callmeovercautious Thu 07-Aug-08 23:18:25

You are not alone. I did pretty much the same with DD. We did do some CC at about 6m as I could not cope with her not going down at night. After that she did quite well at going to bed but mostly still BF to sleep. She still is some days, she is 23m now. 99% of the time she has both sides then sits up and says "cot" looking very sleepy. Then she goes down no problems.

Night feeds are different, we rarely have them now but they used to last 15 mins or so, same as you really. Usually a bad night meant a tooth a few days later.

If I have another DC I will do the same. She is so confident now. She knows if she really needs me I am there, if not she also knows it is safe to go back to sleep without too much fuss.

The only downside is no Daddy at night. We are about to start Daddy doing cups of Milk at bedtime I will let you know how it goes smile

Good Luck

WilfSell Thu 07-Aug-08 23:23:49

I am also mixed up because I would like to night-wean (for some sleep: ah just ONE unbroken night would be bliss) but also reluctant to cos am out at work all day...

whomovedmychocolate Thu 07-Aug-08 23:34:29

It will happen Wilfsell - at 14 months DD started sleeping through reasonably well and now you can hardly wake the little bugger up once she's down. They will always have the odd bad night but most nights now we don't hear a peep between 8pm and 7am (except we now have newborn too so sleep is once again a mere memory hmm).

Oh and beware - as soon as they start to sleep through - your chances of pregnancy soar.

WilfSell Fri 08-Aug-08 09:20:02

oh god, please no! We've got three already: quite enough chaos...

LuXander Wed 13-Aug-08 15:42:33

Oh Tangle, you really aren't alone, have just come on to search for advice /support because I am in a very similar predicament. DD is 16 months and is a complete milk monster.
I am toying with the idea of trying to settle her without feeding her to sleep, but when I tried last week, she screamed everytime I put her down for 2hrs, by which time I was exhausted and she was wide awake, so I fed her to calm her again, at which point she passed out!
I am hoping that she will naturally get to a stage where I can feed her until she is drowsy, rather than asleep, but at the moment if she is drowsy and I put her into her cot she wakes up and screams. sad
She also won't drink cows milk at all. It would be ok if I wasn't so tired...

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