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Okay - time to ask for bf help

(12 Posts)
alittlebitshy Thu 07-Aug-08 18:38:20

My ds is 2 weeks today and so far I've managed to exclusively bf him. SO I am very proud. I am also very exausted

My history is that it didn't go so well with dd 5 years ago and by this stage she had had ebm and formula and I was using nipple shields which I never stoped using - I mix fed her until almost 6 months using the nipple shields.

This time we managed to find a fabby bfc through the hospital (she is the feeding adviser there but is also a bfn supporter) and she really gave me confidence and sorted my latch. However, she is on hols for 2 weeks (just over 1 week left) and things are starting to go a little wrong again and I am not sure what to do.

It seems that I get sorer/more sensitive in the evenings and when i'm feeding in bed rather than in my chair in the lving room. maybe it's my position even though I'm holding myself up with zillions of pillows. Also, my left side, which was my dire side with dd, got cracked again, but healed really well, and a few tiems in the last few days I have really enjoyed feeding ds off that side and have "got" how nice bf can be. But today it seems to have minorly cracked again. I am trying to be fastidious with our latch but clearly not good enough.

I'm not sure what to do.

I am so tired. Ds is only sleeping 2-3 hours max (dd slept 5-6 hours from day 1 and by now had done some 8 hour stints - even before we topped her up with fomula) and I am worried I'm going own the PND route as I can't stop crying and thinking that this handsome little man who i struggled so hard to get after 2 m/cs was a mistake And I feel that we're neglecting dd. She doesn't feel like that - she's loving being a big sister, and has my mum giving her all sorts of attention - and is going to my parents' next week which is an advneture, even though I fear it looks like we're sending her away, but her being with them means we can sleep on ds time and hopefully try and get me feeling like I can cope. I don't know...

And the feeding thing makes me feel worse. i don't know what i want overall. I think i know it's best to persevere, but I keep finding myself thinking that forumla would be magic and buy us sleep, which i know it might not,a nd i know breast is best etc etc.

Next feed is due on my dodgy side.

Argh.

luvaduck Thu 07-Aug-08 18:46:20

bumping for you

alittlebitshy Thu 07-Aug-08 19:05:46

bump

smallwhitecat Thu 07-Aug-08 19:09:49

Message withdrawn

IlanaK Thu 07-Aug-08 19:24:37

Hi alittlebitshy. I am at the same stage as you (waving from the august antenatal club). I am also a bf counsellor. I would be happy to talk to you on the phone. Email me at ilanaabm@gmail.com and I will email you my phone number.

decaffeinated Thu 07-Aug-08 19:24:44

Firstly, it sounds like you're doing amazingly well! Good on you for getting to where you've got so far.

It's so exhausting looking after a newborn (I have a 4 month old son) I can only imagine how hard it must be for you with a young daughter as well.

On the breast-feeding issue, I had a terrible time of it, so I can relate to difficulties. It took all my might to carry on and I'm pleased that I did now.

If you can bear to carry on breastfeeding, it really does get easier if you persevere.

But you need to do what feels right for you.

Have you got some lansinoh? And are you able to sit about with your boobs out to give them air to heal? I also found a warmed flannel just before feeds was soothing.

If you are worried about PND, then take yourself down to the docs as soon as you can. Although I'm no expert, from what I understand you shouldn't need to suffer. And don't forget the baby blues can hit really hard, when combined with a lack of sleep - it really takes it out of you.

Have you got anyone in RL oyu can talk to?

If your daughter's happy with going to your mums, and it seems like a big adventure then that's great! Try not to feel guilty.

Big hugs to you.

alittlebitshy Thu 07-Aug-08 19:47:04

lansinoh- tick
love the stuff!!

we're off to bed now. ds is asleep and although i expect many more feeds befoe he goes all of maybe 3 hours if we're lucky, we're goingt i doze while he does between feeds.

ilana - will email you.

Umlellala Thu 07-Aug-08 20:05:06

hello! just thought I would say hi, as I am in a v similar position to you - ds is 3 weeks - bf CONSTANTLY. Mixed fed dd (now 2) til she was 3 weeks then lucky if he goes an hour sometimes (sleeping ok - in 2-3hr batches though!). No cracked nips (yet?) but def more sore after night-time dodgy latching...

Anyway thought maybe we can help each other to keep going - one day at a time etc. I feel embarrassed to feel so proud for bf exclusively for what sounds such a short time - but considering it's 24/7 it feels like blimmin AGES. So Well Done to you and me grin

An occasional bottle of formula might help us feel more sane but if you really want to bf I think you have to try and sort the latch long-term. I keep thinking oh sod it, lets give a bottle - but I know I demand fed dd and she wanted to suck all day too. So it wouldnt solve prob for me. It is hard when you are in pain! And having another one to think about (and feel guilty about) makes it harder to just enjoy the early feed-all-day-and-night bit.

Good luck - hope he has slept and fed lovely for ya!

alittlebitshy Fri 08-Aug-08 10:25:52

hi umlellela.
yay - someone who knows how I feel!

We had an ok night - 8pm feed, we all slept, 12.30 feed, sleep, 4.40 feed, sleep, 6.50 feed, sleep (my mum is on dd duty so e're sleeping to ds time) then 9.20 feed.... def sorer after night though.
argh.

VinegarTits Fri 08-Aug-08 10:32:28

Only read your op so sorry if i am repeating somebody elses advice, when i was bf ds, my midwife advised me to rub a little milk around each nipple after every fed, i always did this and never once had sore/cracked nipples. Its worth a try i think.

Umlellala Fri 08-Aug-08 18:32:14

Your night sounds great! I am def slightly sorer (although no cracked nips yet) after night-time - think I rush getting him latched, to stop him crying and disturbing dh and dd (all sleeping together, lovely!)

I have been using the breastmilk tip and am finding it as good as lansinoh smile

Where do you live? If you are in London we could meet up and congratulate each other in person?

alittlebitshy Sat 09-Aug-08 10:11:54

less of a good night last night - not helped by the fact that his longest sleep (all of 3 hours lol) saw dh and i both unable to sleep - him with random insomnia and me with ear ache (should have taken more painkillers but didn't).

went to bf support group yesterday - it wasn't the lady i really like there - she's on her hols, but the lady taking her place said she thought ds has a short tongue (though not tongue tie) which could be making me sore cos his tongue keeps rubbing my nips. Not sure if that sounds right or not.

Am kind of in London - v east london.

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