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How often should I be BFing a 9mo (almost 10mo)?

(19 Posts)
missbumpy Sun 03-Aug-08 10:17:08

I know a lot of people will say "on demand". I just feel the amount I'm feeding DD has increased recently rather than gone down. I don't think she's feeding for nourishment or thirst all the time, I think sometimes it's just comfort and she's gone from sleeping through the night to waking up 2 or 3 times a night. I feed her even though actually she probably just wants a cuddle...it just seems like the easiest way to get her (and me!) back to sleep!
At the moment she's feeding several times during the night/1st thing in the morning plus:
1 feed mid-morning
1 feed mid-afternoon
1 feed before bed

Should I be strict and cut out the night time feeds or should I be cutting out one of the daytime feeds? She often doesn't seem to have an appetite for her solid meals and I'm wondering if it's because she's getting too much milk?

Shitehawk Sun 03-Aug-08 10:40:04

I wouldn't cut back on her daytime feeds. Milk should still be her main source of calories at this stage.

Are you happy to let her continue to demand-feed at night-time? Because it's not hurting as long as both of you are happy with it.

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 11:33:10

Milk isproviding her with security andcomfort as well as nourishment. If you are happy with it, feed her when you want to but she could go without all day if you were away.

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 11:33:14

Milk isproviding her with security andcomfort as well as nourishment. If you are happy with it, feed her when you want to but she could go without all day if you were away.

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 11:33:16

Milk isproviding her with security andcomfort as well as nourishment. If you are happy with it, feed her when you want to but she could go without all day if you were away.

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 11:33:30

Doesn't mean she would want to though.

missbumpy Sun 03-Aug-08 11:38:29

I suppose so. I could do with a bit more sleep though! I get the feeling that she's not hungry. I'm just putting her on the breast in order to get her back to sleep quickly.

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 11:41:21

It's just alovely way to make her feel safe and happy. Only you can decide if sleep ismore important than this.Iwas resigned to b/feeding through the night until maybe 11-12 mths.

LittleMissBliss Sun 03-Aug-08 11:58:39

DS now nearly nine months. He was having 2-3 feeds in the night. At arround eight months i had had enough of sleepless nights and cut out the night feeds. He now has arround 5 breastfeeds during the day.

A big feed at 6 am (in our bed then goes back into his cot untill around 8am)
Breakfast 9am
Feed at 10am
Lunch and feed arround mid-day
Feed arround 4pm
Dinner 6-7pm
Feed at around 8pm
8.30pm bed

I now find that he is feeding more during the day and eating a full breakfast which he wasn't too interested in before.

It's up to you. But the eight months of sleepless nights slowly driving me almost insane! I now no longer have blood shot eyes and haven't snapped at dp out of tiredness. Ds is a happy and chubby little thing, i'm happy about his milk intake.

If you decide to cut out the night feeds your dd will be able adjust and will take more milk during the day.

It took me around 3 days to get ds to drop the night feeds and sleep through!

missbumpy Sun 03-Aug-08 17:32:50

How did you get him to drop the night feeds LittleMissBliss? Did you just refuse to offer breast? Didn;t he get annoyed? I worry that if I didn't put her straight on the breast DD would get annoyed and end up wound up and wide awake.

LittleMissBliss Sun 03-Aug-08 18:52:43

I just stopped offering it, cold Turkey. (it was comfort eating and out of habit from ds from co-sleeping and easy access).

Basically i just decided one day enough was enough so when he usually woke for a feed i would go in stroke his head or give him a cuddle to calm and comfort him. Then i'd give him his 'bedtime toy' his Cow! Then turn on his mobile (which is what happens when he intially goes to bed). If he continued to cry i would go in and check on him stroke his head etc. Going in every 2 minutes then 4 then 6 etc. After arround 20 minutes on the first night he worked out that there was no milk coming his way so he gave up. The secound then third time he woke up it was allot easier and he settled faster.
At 6 am i gave him his 'morning feed' which he guzzled down. Then that day i made sure that i offered him more bf during the day than he had previously taken.

The secound night the crying was substituted for winging and was a allot shorter. The third night winging was for arround a minute or two and he would self settle! He now sleeps through. It has gone a little backward these last few days due to teething no feeds but waking for teething granuals, bonjella etc. Once or twice but arround 9 and 10ish not early morning. So still feel refreshed and much happier in the mornings.

The first night is the worst and you will feel really mean and a little stressed because you know what they wan't and you feel you are denying them. But one totally awful and rubbish night in exchange for weeks, then months of full nights sleep is so worth it. Especially if you feel as exhausted as i did. You just have to stay strong. Rember that you are the parent and you DD will quickly catch on and take more milk during the day especially at 10 months!

I wouldn't reconmend that a mother do this to a really young baby but at our DC's age they are more aware and obviously know that you are not abandoning them if you leave them to winge or cry for short periods of time.

Good luck if you do chose to go down this path.

Tip: Start on a Friday night if you have a DP who works during the week and a crying or winging baby would disturb his sleep. Hopefully by the Monday your DD will be sleeping through.grin

LittleMissBliss Sun 03-Aug-08 19:07:31

Background: DS had been co-sleeping from 5 weeks until 6 months, at arround 6 months i tried to get him in his cot but found it so hard to settle him and then physically get up for the night feeds. I had to resort back to co-sleeping. Then at arround 7 months I tried again hoping (in vain) that because he was slowly taking more solids that he would sleep better and feed less but always ended up taking him back to our bed half way through the night, because it was the easy option. The only way that i knew that i would be able to get him to settle in his cot is if he was sleeping through. So at 8 months because i was slowly loosing the plot from sheer tiredness, i decided that enough was enough best decision i've ever made!!!!!

Also to add that from 4-6 months DS was feedin 2 hourly night and day and the only thing that was keeping me going was, that 'at 6 months he would sleep through' (solids). Then 6 months arrived and he was still feeing loads, So i thought oh its early days 'at 7 months he'll be sleeping through'. These goals have kept me going and sane(ish). Even though i knew that it was never actually going to happen! I had to actually take it into my own hands and take control of the situation.

missbumpy Sun 03-Aug-08 21:03:02

Thanks for that. I'm having similar problems with sleeping (I've got another thread going on the subject). I'm too soft to leave DD to cry though so I don't know if I could go cold turkey. I might try to get DP to pick her up when she wakes in the night though so she doesn't automatically go for a breastfeed even if she's not hungry IYSWIM

missbumpy Sun 03-Aug-08 21:04:44

BTW, Moondog, I totally agree that it's a lovely way to be close to DC and to soothe and comfort. It's also nice for me most of the time. I've just been going through a bit of a hard time recently and have been feeling more shattered than usual and am starting to worry about going back to work and wondering if I should break the nighttime feeding habit now before it's too late!

Poppycake Sun 03-Aug-08 21:10:05

I think the dp plan is good (means you'll get more sleep grin...

CantSleepWontSleep Sun 03-Aug-08 21:10:40

Doesn't sound all that often to me. Dd was still feeding 7-9 times a day at 11 months. We had cut out the night feeds by then though (CC at 8 months).

LittleMissBliss Sun 03-Aug-08 21:11:37

Missbumpy- I was the same such a soft touch. but i was just becoming such a cow bag with such little sleep and felt sick with tiredness some days. I knew it was for the greater good. It is soo worth it when you crack it!
It's lovely to be able to comfort your child through the night but if it is affecting you sanity as it was me i feel that it was the only way forward. DS has as much access to the breat during the day as he wants, but at night he knows that it is time for sleeping. He is more intersted in his solids now and is happy all round!smile

missbumpy Tue 05-Aug-08 20:56:08

Sounds good LMB. DD's not a big one for solids so maybe if she wasn't filling up on milk all night she'd have more room for solids during the day hmm? I did try this last night but she screamed the house down so I relented after approximately 2 minutes blush. I think I must be the biggest soft touch out there!

fishie Tue 05-Aug-08 21:06:49

don't worry about the soft touch thing. do whatever feels right for you, not what you think you should be doing.

9m is when i began to stop co-sleeping, but ds didn't entirely stop night feeds until he was about 12m. 9m is still pretty young to go all night without sustenance.

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