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how do you cope with demand feeding and life with a toddler?

(20 Posts)
deaconblue Wed 30-Jul-08 18:53:05

dd is 12 weeks and ds is 2. I try to demand feed but it can be so difficult. eg this afternoon I fed dd at 1.15 then we headed to the park. As it was so hot she needed feeding by about 3.30. There was no shade, ds runs off so I couldn't just sit and feed her or I would lose him. So poor dd had to wait til I managed to drag ds away from park (literally) so she was screaming and he had to leave the park early. This is typical of whenever we try to go anywhere outdoors and I'm finding it so stressful. How do you all manage?

FrannyandZooey Wed 30-Jul-08 18:54:03

get a ring sling and you can feed on the move

deaconblue Wed 30-Jul-08 18:56:36

my babies pop off if I so much as reach for the remote while feeding I think I have the wrong nipples for feeding on the move

onwardandupward Wed 30-Jul-08 19:04:38

A ring sling would keep them snuggly held by the breast though. It might work.

At that age, a wilkinet with baby facing inwards can be good for on-the-move nursing, although it depends whether your baby can cope with upright breastfeeding.

And find a nice woods with lots of fallen logs for Ds to climb on and shade for you. How about a dinky parasol for emergency shade provision? grin

springerspaniel Fri 01-Aug-08 07:36:02

DD is 2 weeks and DS is 3yrs. Whenever I feed, he is a nightmare. "Mummy, can I sit on that chair", throws stuff, etc.

No solution, just bags of sympathy I'm afraid. Can't imagine going out with both yet but I guess find somewhere where he is confined. Easier said than done!

Wisknit Fri 01-Aug-08 10:35:27

a lady I know made up a special box of toys for her toddler. He only has the box when baby was feeding. She changes some of the toys everyweek so he gets a surprise.
Wish I had thought of that with mine. I just muddled along.

TrinityRhino Fri 01-Aug-08 10:39:16

just feed whilst walking, changing, moving, pushing swings, catching toddlers, cleaning....
takes some practise but is a godsend

i remember feeding 3 weel old gecko whilst pushing a trolley round asda lol

deaconblue Fri 01-Aug-08 12:15:33

ds is pretty good about the feeding in general, he doesn't really play up when we are at home it's just difficult to keep him safe and feed dd while we are out and about. I guess I should practise feeding on the move but like I say at the moment just moving to reach for something means she comes unlatched, milk squirts everywhere, she yells etc etc

mears Fri 01-Aug-08 12:23:21

The one thing you learn with toddlers is that they don't actually run very far when you are not following. They will continue when they know you are on their tail. Make sure you have a stash of food (can be healthy) so that you can tempt them with that to stay still.

In your situation I would have fed the baby a quick feed to stem her hunger and if DS didn't behave, then go home.

BroccoliSpears Fri 01-Aug-08 12:23:28

I tend to pop my 3 month old on and off, poor lad.

Quick feed - oh whoops, 2-year-old is about to fall down a well - unlatch ds, save dd and point her in a safer direction, sit down and relatch ds. Oh crap, dd is throwing rocks at old ladies, lurch across to dd with ds still feeding, ds becomes unlatched, point dd in safer direction, sit down, relatch ds...

It's not terribly elegant but a lot of parenting isn't.

(A far cry from my pfb feeding of dd - lumbar support cushion, step to bring knees to right height, another 358 cushions to support me and her, quiet room, drink of water ready, special feeding cushion, lansinoh after every feed... grin)

BroccoliSpears Fri 01-Aug-08 12:24:29

I've done that Trinity grin - I rested him on the trolley bar when I needed to get something from a high shelf...

BroccoliSpears Fri 01-Aug-08 12:25:40

Mears - would you please explain to my dd that she isn't supposed to run far if I'm not following?? wink

<wonders if dot on horizon is dd>

EffiePerine Fri 01-Aug-08 12:26:40

snacks sound a good idea - the only time DS is still in the park is when we sit down for a snack and a drink

<saves idea for DC2>

EffiePerine Fri 01-Aug-08 12:27:19

oh yes, DS just runs whetehr you follow him or not

my usual view of him is the dot on the horizon

HonoriaGlossop Fri 01-Aug-08 12:51:32

broccoli I was just going to post the same grin

We tested this theory on ds - cue him literally disappearing, and 6'4 DH having to sprint BLOODY fast to find him

Some kids don't seem to be on that invisible 'leash' that means others just go a certain distance and then look back!

FWIW I have a friend who is struggling with the same thing, she is now trying a sling - good luck!

Pannacotta Fri 01-Aug-08 12:58:54

Agree with mears but also that this doesnt apply in all cases...
Can you find a park where DS1 can play and you can see the exit if he runs off?
I demand fed DS2 for 6 months ish - is a 2.4 yr age gap, but at the start I either met up with a friend who could keep an eye on DS1 or went to a small local park with an enclosed play area and one exit which you can see from there.
A sling def worth trying, ring slings keep the baby quite close in so feedign should be ok, I would have done it but have an uneven spine so not ideal for me.
Some gentle bribery can work with 2 year olds, perhaps offering an ice cream if he stays near you while feeding?

TinkerBellesMum Fri 01-Aug-08 13:03:16

I was going to suggest a sling. I used to feed Tink in a wrap, could walk down the road and no one would know what she was doing.

Got to admit, we do have an "invisible leash" I rarely hold onto Tink because I know I just have to call her and she is around some corner and either comes back or giggles (or there are giggling people around her).

mears Fri 01-Aug-08 13:10:35

I had toddlers who came scurrying back when you shouted you were leaving without them smile

You need to test it in a safe envirnoment though.

deaconblue Fri 01-Aug-08 13:32:44

yes have tried that with ds. He doesn't even look around to see if I'm following, jsut keeps going at high speed wherever he fancies going. Same with mummy's going without you. Have hidden behind tree where I can see him but he can't see me and he doesn't even notice I've gone! I think it's being caught unexpectedly that gets me with dd. She can go 5 hours without wanting a feed and then another day it can be just 2 1/2.

TinkerBellesMum Fri 01-Aug-08 13:45:07

mears, it's often how I leave the house! "OK, I'm going to the shops now, are you coming? shakes head See you later then, bye!" and she's at the door crying before I've got my shoes on grin mean Mummy! Thing is though, if I tried to take her she would be crying more and far less compliant.

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