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would any bf mums feel like helping me with an essay?

(124 Posts)
StormInanEcup Sat 26-Jul-08 16:44:07

Message withdrawn

peanutbear Sat 26-Jul-08 16:50:35

My mom had a massive influence on me deciding to breast feed my first child I thought that was the only option really plus midwife was fantastic but I only fed for a few months with my other 2 I had read up on breast feeding and learnt how to make it easier for me

StealthPolarBear Sat 26-Jul-08 16:52:17

back soon

StormInanEcup Sat 26-Jul-08 16:52:57

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DisenchantedPlusBump Sat 26-Jul-08 16:54:22

No-body in my family had ever breastfed before me.

I think it was actually websites like this, midwives, leaflets etc that got me thinking.

Its something I tried twice (but wasn't successful) but will try again this time.

My whole family were actually very unsupportive as they all bottle fed and didn't understand why I wanted to breastfeed.

DisenchantedPlusBump Sat 26-Jul-08 16:55:32

I mean twice as in tried with two children (not 2 attemts at latching!)

But I didn't get the support from anyone really to be able to carry on both occasions.

somebodyhelpme Sat 26-Jul-08 17:04:34

Hi I have breastfeed all 5 of my children for varrying lenths of time, and had it not been for the support I had from my dh I would never have started/carried on, although my mum bf me and my siblings she wasn't pro bf when I had my first, as my elder sisters had all ff and she felt that was the way to go. hmm
my last ds4 I feed until he was 20months and plan on feeding my ds5 until he wants to stop.
I had some really unhelpful health profesionals, with my ds3 whom I fed for just 11 weeks, as I was told I was killing him by my health visitor, as he wasnt putting on weight, this almost made me not feed my ds4 at all, but I am sooo glad that I did. and changed my health visitor!
I have just done a bfn training course, as I think it is the best thing you can do for your child, and I am looking forward to hopefully helping other mums with good information, so they can make an informed decision.

BellaBear Sat 26-Jul-08 17:10:05

I suppose it was mainly my family that influenced me: my mother bf both me and my sister and generally close friends of the family bf their children, so it seemed entirely normal to bf. DH's family is similar, bfing seen as the norm.
Then, when I got pregnant (and before!) I happened across mumsnet and saw a whole different side to bfing (that is, that it is more normal in this country not to bf) which really surprised me. The more I read on here the more determined I was to bf, although I had always intended to.
Also, most of the women I have made friends with since having DS have bf, and that helps because again, it is the normal thing to do in my circle.
I think I've been very lucky, considering.

StealthPolarBear Sat 26-Jul-08 17:47:31

i tend to plan, read and research, and so had decided well in advance to give bf a go. because i had researched so much i knew about blocked ducts/thrush/mastitis/supply probs/bleeding nipples in advance, and so actually thought bf would be more problematic than it was. because of friends' bad experiences i assumed i would be lucky to bf for a few months.
Once i discovered MN i realised i didn't have to stop then, and i was enjoying it, not having any probs. ds now 15mo and hopefully he will self wean.
Mum supported me, but struggled to bf me herself (advised to top up as i was hungry hmm) so was worried i was struggling but refusing to admit it. MIL bf for 7 or 8 mo and was completely the opposite - "you'll do it, don't see what all the fuss is about" which is also unhelpful given that my 2 close friends who had given birth recently hadn't been able to bf (one did bf for 2 weeks). However, that did mean DH was completely supportive and believed in me, which was the most important thing, as well as MN from which I learned - they will feed all the time in the first few weeks (maybe longer), it doesn't mean your supply is at fault; feed whenever baby wants t and don't get hung up about timing/amounts; cluster feeding in the evenings is normal; you do't have to stop at 6 or 12 months!

Psychobabble Sat 26-Jul-08 17:55:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyPutTheKettleOn Sat 26-Jul-08 19:27:43

I was definitely influenced by my mum. She bf all 3 of us and made sure I had the support to do it myself. I had real troubles when I started to bf dd and she would stand over me making sure I had her latched on properly! She's great my mum, although she has started asking me when I'm going to stop bfing ds hmm!

I planned to bf from the word go as I tend to do lots of research and reading and knew it was the best thing and it just seemed natural and right. My dp was very supportive as well, and still is. He loves the fact we co-sleep, which I do mainly to make nightfeeding easier. I think if he wasn't supportive on the co-sleeping thing I would have found it much more difficult as ds is still having 2-3 feeds at night.

MN has had a huge influence on me as well. With dd I fed for 14 months as all my friends with dcs the same age stopped at around a year, so I just thought it was the thing to do. Now, with the information I have gained from MN I am going to feed ds until he self weans.

Hope this helps my dear and good luck, I may use this thread when I start writing such essays grin!!

Dawnie6577 Sat 26-Jul-08 19:37:06

In many ways, seems a strange thing to think about, because I didn't actually make a conscious decision, am I going to breastfeed or not? I made the decision on a much more sub-conscious level, without even thinking about it. Especially when you make so many decisions during pregnancy (what pram to get, what type of birth do I want, how is the nursery going to be decorated, shall I drink a glass of wine etc etc), the 'decision' to breastfeed wasn't really a decision, IYKWIM?

I just knew that I wanted to if I could, for closeness, convenience and a feeling that it is most natural way of feeding. Before DS was born, I knew I would be really disheartened and upset if I couldn't.

However, undoubtedbly (sp?), I was influenced by family / friends / peers / antenatal group (!) and the information available regarding the benefits (via websites/nhs leaflets etc). The pro-breastfeeding messages really are everywhere now, I think there is some competition as to who can breastfeed the longest in my antenatal group!!

ilovemydog Sat 26-Jul-08 19:39:25

Always just assumed that I would breastfeed. I was breastfed, as were both my parents. the only person I knew who was ff was my cousin, but he was quite ill as a baby, so I guess I assumed that it was due to his illnesses?

The main issue I've had with b/fing is the total lack of practical support. There is quite a lot of slogans (breast if best etc) but when it comes down to it, very very little support on the ground.

My hv (s) give such conflicting advice and recently told me that I'm the only one b/fing exclusively (DS at 5 months). We are talking a large GP's practice in a major city.

Main problem I've had is both my babies have been slow to put on weight.

And to be absolutely honest, I may have gone down the formula route if I wasn't so lazy! It is sooo much easier to breast feed....

ib Sat 26-Jul-08 19:41:14

I was mostly influenced by my older sister, who bf both her dss for 2 years. I would always have given bf a go, as where I was brought up that is the norm, although for a much shorter time usually (six months or less).

So I guess in a way it wasn't really a decision, just an assumption iyswim. I didn't consider not giving bf a go (and was quite shocked to hear a neighbour assert that she had never put her ds to the breast, not even one single time. Not judging shocked, it had just never occurred to me that someone with no physical impediment would not even try it once).

mehdismummy Sat 26-Jul-08 19:44:25

i just always wanted to bf as it was as far as i was concerned best for my baby, we are still going strong 2.5 years later!!

fordfiesta Sat 26-Jul-08 19:54:14

Mum did not bf me or my brother but was supportive of it. Cant think what made me want to really...... cheaper and 'easier' (i was a little niave pre ds!) to start and i guess the fact that it was just the 'natural' choice...... the midwife i had was very pro and supportive as well. I bf until ds was just over 2, at that point most family were suggesting it was time to stop (well from 6 months on they were suggesting to stop really) I think research (ie who reccomendations etc),ds's needs,my health visitor and the fact that 2 of my friends bf until their children were 2+ kept me going.
have fun with your essay!

Miaou Sat 26-Jul-08 19:56:18

Like ilovemydog, I think I just assumed I would breastfeed, didn't think to do otherwise really. However I was very fortunate to have no problems latching on because I got zero help from either midwives or health visitors, and was advised to "top up" dd2 because I didn't have enough milk (so consequently by the time she was two months old she was on formula).

Fast forward to when I had the dses, which was after I found mumsnet, and I am now far better informed. Ds1 I fed until he was 14 months when he self-weaned with a little help from me. Ds2 is 1 and still going strong, though I expect to wean him around that time (that's long enough for me!). There's a lot more help about this time, though I don't really need it now. However I had an excellent bfing counsellor see me in hospital when I had had ds1 and she showed me how to feed him lying down, which was a great help.

Dh hugely supportive of bfing, though less comfortable with it once we reach toddlerdom. I couldn't have done it without his support though. His family were all bottlefed; mine were a mixture of both, but plenty of support there too.

Miaou Sat 26-Jul-08 19:57:09

Oh sorry storm, I've just re-read the op and realised most of what I said was irrelevant blush

Yorky Sat 26-Jul-08 19:57:52

Didn't do masses of research but went to NCT antenatal classes where bf is promoted, which also meant my 'baby' friends were mostly bfing as well. I was bf but don't remember it and as first in our family and friend group to breed had no real influences that way. Had no major problems like cracked nipples/engorgement etc so maybe had it easy but never bought formula even as an in-case. Fed DS till he was 14months when boobs were too sore from 2nd pg. Liek ib never really though about not doing

fishie Sat 26-Jul-08 20:02:33

my mum bf us, although not for 6m and certainly my sister (8y younger so i can remember) had formula. i fear bro and i had watered down evaporated milk.

anyway i can remember asking mum when i was pretty young (before sister was born) whether we had been bf and being pleased to hear we had. so somehow i had decided very early that it was the right thing but no idea how that happened.

i find any kind of support or positive attitude helpful! unhelpful is not full on negativity towards bf, which i haven't encountered, but the dreadful lack of debate and openness - what do i say to someone who says that they couldn't bf because of a problem which i myself have overcome?

Haylstones Sat 26-Jul-08 20:02:41

Iw asn't influenced by anyone, just decided it wsa what I wanted to do. Got little support from anyone except dh but luckily I had/ have no probs with feeding either of mine from the very beginning. Nobody in our families bar one aunt had bf so there was no vault of knowledge I could dip into but thankfully I didn't need it. I got lots of tips and advice from reading baby books/mags and from MN and ignored the advice I knew to be inaccurate/unhelpful. I only knew a few other mums who bf and none did it for as long as me- I don't think I know anyone in RL now who bfs...

constancereader Sat 26-Jul-08 20:04:28

I think I may be quite unusual in that I was mainly influenced towards bf by my dh. I honestly had never given it any thought when we first got together as it had never really been a topic under discussion in my family. I was bottlefed.

My dh's mother was very pro bfeeding, and fed her first ds despite being told she was cruel for trying (by the hcps). She felt quite passionately about it, and all that information was internalised by my dh!

We were together for ten years before children and by the time they came along I had come to think the same way. It's not that I had anything against it before, it's just that I had never really thought about it. Whereas in his family it was an important part of the upbringing on all four children.

popsycal Sat 26-Jul-08 20:09:34

not bf anymore but was until february (stopped two weeks before ds2 turned 3 and pregnant with ds3)

would many views be of use>

ButterflyMcQueen Sat 26-Jul-08 20:12:14

somebody help me i am loving you having 5 boys wink

society influences my decision - i am currently b/f no 6 and i do not love it..

i know it is best but half of me would love to give bottles! family not an issue as have none worthy of influence - my life would be easier if i bottle fed

morethanasong Sat 26-Jul-08 20:13:12

A very interesting question!

I'm not sure really who influenced me to bf, but I was very determined that that was what I was going to do! My mum bf all of us, and I'm the oldest so I saw my younger siblings being bf. I suppose that made it seem 'normal' for me, though I'm not sure I really thought about it before I was pg. When I found out how good bf was for mother and baby, there was no question that that was how I was going to feed my baby.

What's interesting is that the whole 'exclusive bf for 6 months' campaign made me think that babies only needed breastmilk for 6 months - I'm not too sure how I came to that conclusion! Though I do think the marketing of follow on milk had something to do with it, as I thought that was what you gave older babies. It was only when I went to a bf support group, and saw older babies being fed, that I learnt that not only was it ok, it was actually beneficial! Even there though, I didn't learn about the benefits of feeding beyond 12 months. That's come from internet sites like this one.

I hope this helps. Am I allowed to ask what your essay is for?

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