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getting rid of the H/V - low weight baby - 5 months

(22 Posts)
ilovemydog Sat 26-Jul-08 10:34:03

Hi - I've posted numerous times about my DS who is low weight. Born at 38 weeks due to low amniotic fluid.

He has always been low weight (4th percentile) but on 25th for length.

The HV is fairly adamant about him getting weighed every week which is stressing me out.

I stood my ground last week and said that I wanted to leave it for a few weeks as, to use one of Tik Tok's expressions, 'micro analyzing' his weight was not helpful.

I've decided to see the GP to force the issue and either get a referral to a paediatrician or get the HV's to back off.

Oh, and apparently I'm one of the few women at the surgery who is still breast feeding which explains the crap advice.

Has anyone else managed to get rid of the health visitor?

juuule Sat 26-Jul-08 10:36:32

Surely she can't make you go.

liahgen Sat 26-Jul-08 10:39:29

yeah. Just don't turn up at the clinic. You are under no obligation to see them.

How is your baby? are you happy with him? is everything else, "average"?

If YOU have no concerns, just say you are not gonna be going every week, and that's it really.

had exactly same with my 3rd, was born exactly term, 10lbs, and fully bf, dropped to 9th line, and now at 5 yrs, he's settled on just above 25th ish.

elmoandella Sat 26-Jul-08 10:44:31

just dont go. they wont turn up at your door if you dont. speak to your gp to feel like the hv is making you feel uneasy/stressed. they may suggest an alternative. or have a word. maybe your not this first person shes been so heavy handed with.

ten10 Sat 26-Jul-08 11:02:42

I never had much respect for my HV after bad colic advice so I just stopped going to the clinic

She came round at 18 weeks for a "weaning chat" and then I didn't see her again, because I didn't go to the clinic and was more than happy with his progress

by the time his year check I had been assigned a new HV due to a big shake up in our area.

ilovemydog Sat 26-Jul-08 11:12:20

The thing is, they aren't happy with DD's progress, so was hoping that by forcing the issue would get an independent view?

It seems relevant to me that DD was exactly the same - scraping along the 9th percentile, but now is on 75th for height and 50th for weight.

Our previous HV was great, and since she left, have seen about 4 different ones, none of whom are especially helpful, but say that DS needs to be 'monitored...'

I find it difficult to disagree with this, but am so stressed out. sad

ThatBigGermanPrison Sat 26-Jul-08 11:15:24

My hv mithered me because she didn't believe I wasn't depressed or struggling. Oh, she was also fairly certain I was abusing my children, as she questioned me closely about ds1's attendance at preschool, then exclaimed in a relieved fashion "Oh he's in the system then, we know about him". She asked me in depth questions about my mental health - while one of my friends was visiting (in an attempt to make her back off I had invited a friend round to sit with me)

She never got through my front door again.

She turned up once, and I left her stood on the step while she tried to bully her way in - this was the day after boxing day and I was having a party - a family party with roast lamb and trifle, not a crack whore party with drugs and alcohol.

3 weeks later, I reported her, her unprofessional behavior and her breaches of confidentiality to her immediate superior, saying that her unannounced unwelcome visits were making me feel under siege in my own home, were making me stressed and anxious, and if they thought I was abusing my children could they please just come right out and say so as I wished to have the chance to defend myself.

Her superior talked me through the Edinborough test, declared I wasn't at all depressed and besides, I was under the mental health team anyway, my children were happy, healthy, and not injured, underweight or withdrawn - and could I come to the clinic if there were any concerns, as I would not be receiving any more visits.

And I haven't had any more visits.

Helth Visitors (like any professionals I suppose) can be like a dog with a bone sometimes.

her last case may have been a child who was admitted to hospital with malnourishment - and she had missed it. Now she's pestering the life out of you because you have a 'below 50th centile' child.

My hv's last case may have been one of a suicidal mother not coping and taking it out on the children - and because I had previous for depression, she refused to let me get on with it.

Either way, you don't have to put up with it. Say you are dropping the weighing (weekly is absurd at 5 months old, really) down to once a month, or she can make a referral to the paediatrician to explain herself.

kittywise Sat 26-Jul-08 11:16:06

What about YOU though? Are you happy with the progress?

PotPourri Sat 26-Jul-08 11:18:48

Just dont go to the clinic. And if you want to get yourself backed up, go to the doctor and get him to check your little one over. That should give you ammunition if she starts pursuing you formally. And if she turns up at your door, say you are going out and will phone her to arrange a suitable time - quickly pack a bag and go round the block. Good luck, if you are happy that he is fine, then ignore ignore ignore.

tiktok Sat 26-Jul-08 12:54:48

Sorting through some stuff I have come across NICE guidelines for Maternal and Child Nutrition, published March 2008, the 'quick reference guide'.

On weighing, it usefully says:

'as a minimum, ensure babies are weighed (naked) at birth and at 5 and 10 days. Thereafter healthy babies should be weighed (naked) no more than fortnightly and then at 2, 3 and four months. Use well-maintained, digital scales that are calibrated annually'.

www.nice.org.uk/Guidance/PH11/QuickRefGuide/pdf/English

So anyone with a healthy baby getting hassle from anyone to have their baby weighed more often can simply point to the NICE guidance and ask why the healthcare professional is departing from them.

ilovemydog Sat 26-Jul-08 13:21:04

wow, thanks Tik! Great ammunition! smile

Kitty, I am concerned about DS's weight, but not overly. I've done a bit of reading and he's a 'banana baby' - he's extremely long and skinny.

But he has doubled birth weight by 4 months, is extremely bright, smiles a lot...

I feel robbed though of enjoying DS as I've been so frantic about his weight, fueled by HV's 'concerns'.

May resort to taking him into Waitrose and weighing him there....

kittywise Sat 26-Jul-08 14:45:27

If it's of any help ds3 is a skinny baby and nothing I can do makes him any fatter. He was born on 75th centile ( but looked very skinny) and fell rapidly down to the 9th where he has stayed. My hv was falling somewhat but I guess having many kids already I didn't feel so pressured. Although great advice on here from people such as tiktok really helped to brush away any concerns.

sallyforth Sat 26-Jul-08 16:22:40

I have got a 5 mo in similar situation.

91st centile at birth
since 8wks happily bumping along just below 2nd centile
kind of skinny looking tummy but some chub on arms/legs
developmentally A-OK and I have no concerns myself

from being on mandatory weekly weighings, what changed things for me was the routine 3mo developmental check the HVs do here - my HV pronounced my smiley DS to be "just gorgeous" [preen] and thereafter I have had no hassle whatsoever.

and I never go to the weighing clinic anymore (bought my own baby scales in the early days blush) but I do show my face at the baby cafe which handily has a "no weighing" policy grin

yummymummy1405 Sat 26-Jul-08 19:53:03

Hi I was in the exact sitaution as you. My little boy was induced at 38 weeks due to low fluids and has always been and is still (at 2yrs) a very very skinny minnie. On the flip side my dd is 4 months never lost any weight after birth and is a right chunky monkey! I told my hv right from the begining that I knee he was small but I was small and I was not going give him formula as top up or worry unecassarily. I have a nice hv she listened and although he has never been near 'normal' weight it is obvious he is well within himself. Hang in there and try not to worry

ilovemydog Sun 27-Jul-08 14:02:40

Thanks yummy mummy - nice to know we're in the same boat!

What's infuriating is the vague responses. After he gets weighed, the anxiously plot him on the chart, and shake their heads. I ask them what the solution is, and they mutter something like, 'well, should keep on eye on it - come back next week...'

Am pumping after feeds, and topping him up with this.

But you make a good point - you're positive about it, which makes the HVs positive. smile

3littlefrogs Sun 27-Jul-08 14:12:33

ilovemydog - ds1 was long and skinny. He is 19 now and is still long and skinny. He is otherwise perfectly normal and eats like a horse. They are all individuals. I used to be a HV and always worked on the theory that it is better to look at the child and its family than just looking at the scales. What I mean is - some whole families are long and skinny, others are short and stout smile

gagarin Sun 27-Jul-08 14:19:56

Surely by 5 months either your ds has "failure to thrive" or "faltering growth" or he hasn't.

If he has - then he poss needs to be seen by paediatrician so go to your GP and ask.

If he hasn't - then this is what his growth is going to be like so you can stop going to the clinic grin.

Pixiefish Sun 27-Jul-08 14:26:04

From what I've been told so long as he stays on the line- no matter what the line is then tere isn't a problem.

My dd was born on the 75th but dropped drastically and ended up falling off the bottom of the chart.

She then went back up to the 2nd centile and stayed there for ages. She's on the 4th now for weight (50th for height) ( we did have feeding problems but een when that was under control she stayed on a low centile)

All the centiles are are averages.

If you're concerned go see your gp and ask to see a paed but if he's happy and healthy in every other way then I wouldn't worry about it.

Sidge Sun 27-Jul-08 14:26:37

I had similar with DD1. She was only 6 pounds at birth but was well and healthy. She grew (though slowly) and as I'm only 5 foot 1 tall and weighed 7.5 stone I knew she wouldn't be a whopper.

One of the HV in the team went on and on about her weight, how she wasn't moving up the lines (she stayed between the 2nd and 9th, perfectly adequate really). They made me feel so nervous about her being so little so I took her religiously to get weighed. She talked of top ups (I was bf-ing) and made me feel really inadequate.

Finally she said I had to go and see the GP, which I duly did. My wonderful, kind, experienced mum-of-3 GP took one look at DD1 and said "If you hadn't been to get her weighed would you be worried?" I said no so she just said "Don't get her weighed then!"

DD1 is now 9.5, average height and very slim but is totally healthy and gorgeous smile

I would say don't go and get him weighed if he is otherwise healthy and developing normally.

lisad123 Sun 27-Jul-08 14:29:49

Is he gaining weight? Is he following a line (any line even the 4th)?
I would be tempted to not go at all. She sounds like a stupid cow.
They make you feel bad, they did the same with my DD1 about her not walking, but shes fine. Sorry your getting a hard time.

ExterminAitch Sun 27-Jul-08 14:36:06

sympathies, ilovemydog. good for you for keeping bfing... smile

tiktok, what constitutes a healthy baby, do you know? dd took 5 weeks to put her birth weight back on but every HP who saw her commented that she was alert, bright-eyed etc. nevertheless she was weighed every sodding two days and i had her on top-ups from 12 days etc etc <regales all with story Yet Again>

so would she have been healthy or not? FTT was threatened often.

lisad123 Sun 27-Jul-08 14:58:14

SGK had the same for months, i will link her this later on if i see her online.

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