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tiktok, hunker et al - help desperately needed - last night dd bit me - I shouted in pain, she screamed - now refusing to bf at all!

(21 Posts)
crochetdiva Sat 19-Jul-08 18:09:36

Help!

dd is 9 1/2 months and an inveterate bottle refuser. Last night, she bit me twice - once on each side, and I shouted in pain both times.

I must have shouted really loudly as she did the terrified screaming thing.

Since last night, she's refused to go near the boob - I've even tried when she's been really sleepy, and she goes for it, then realises it's my boob, and screams blue murder. I have had to express for every feed today and give it to her in a cup.

Help and advice please on how to get her back on the boob. Don't want this to be the end of bf!sad

She's never been much of one for long and involved feeds, except at bedtime - I have to feed her in a quiet environment or she is too busy nosing to nurse.

PaulineMole1 Sat 19-Jul-08 18:21:05

Sorry have no advice but am bumping for you ,hope you get it sorted

EffiePerine Sat 19-Jul-08 18:29:06

Skin to skin? Have a bath together?

tiktok Sat 19-Jul-08 18:29:59

crochetdiva - it is not the end, but a temporary nursing strike...lots in the archives and at www.kellymom.com but I am going out so can't go into details. Basically, calm, patient, gentle, no forcing and read the tips and other ideas about how to help her forget....which she will do

crochetdiva Sat 19-Jul-08 19:03:11

Thanks tiktok ... shall repeat to myself

it is a phase it will pass
it is a phase it will pass
it is a phase it will pass

.... think of me - am about to go and try to put her to bed - have never dome bedtime without a bf!

LaTrucha Sat 19-Jul-08 19:08:04

Good luck Crochet! I'm looking towards that bedtime in the nearish future shock

LaTrucha Sat 19-Jul-08 19:08:34

Just a thought - have you tried a lying down feed in bed? Probably...

crochetdiva Sat 19-Jul-08 19:11:26

yes ... I took her into bed with me early this morning to try to get her to bf ... she just screamed even more sad

must not force her
must relax

must go ... dh have given me my cue!

WilfSell Sat 19-Jul-08 19:27:53

Hey there, I've been through a few nursing strikes and happy to say STILL BF a lot at 11mo...

Just stay skin to skin together as much as possible (baths, co-sleeping etc) and try not to make a big deal of feeding, almost as if you haven't even noticed she wants to (look away, hum etc). You might want to consider a 'babymoon' together in bed with easy access IYSWIM...

And try not to get worked up if and when she does latch on. i did some relaxation exercises and did slow breaths out, focusing on the counting (got a good tip to visualise breathing in number 10 then very very slowly blowing it away, then 9 etc), instead of 'oh god please let down etc'. This not only helps relaxation and distracts you from over-focusing on let down, but it also helps 'condition' your milk reflex so that your body learns to respond to the counting and deep breathing.

You need to respond sensitively to every feeding cue also, even if you have to pretend you're not doing! Hence the easy access stuff.

Usually, if you don't force it, you'll find things starting to be a bit more chilled in 24-48 hours.

ib Sat 19-Jul-08 19:39:47

Cd, the exact same thing happened with ds in one of his teething bouts, at about the same age.

In the end what did the trick was sitting him down and explaining to him (with much gesticulation for emphasis) that mummy had shouted because ds had bit and it hurt, but that mummy still likes bf very much and sorry I shouted.

He was hesitant for a feed or two but that was it. Now (he's 18 mo) when he wants to wind me up he pretends he's going to bite me!

crochetdiva Sun 20-Jul-08 09:41:06

Well, no progess here ... sad

Last night, when I tried to put her to bed, she arched her back and screamed every time I tried to even hold her when sitting down.

I ended up bringing her down to the living room, and she fell asleep (eventually) sitting on my lap while I was watching TV.

I took her into bed with us, but she arched her back and screamed every time she was facing me. Eventually she went to sleep facing away from me.

Even in her sleep she wouldn't feed.

I expressed last night, and then again this morning - a total of 15oz.

This is really getting me down - I've looked at the kellymom resources, but the ideas just aren't working.

Am feeling really down sad

tiktok Sun 20-Jul-08 09:50:49

crochet - it's only been a day and a half.

Just keep up the calm, gentle patience.

In my experience, nursing strikes typically last between 1 and 5 days.

WilfSell Sun 20-Jul-08 10:03:58

Tiktok's right crochetdiva, just wait it out and try to believe (though I know how hard this is) it will work out OK. The very worst strike DS3 had lasted a week! It was AWFUL and I was convinced I would have to give up. He was ill and wouldn't feed and I kept trying and that made things worse... I backed off and he came back to it when he was ready...

If you search on my name or my previous one m o n k e y b i r d and nursing strike you'll find lots of messages about this - some of them might help.

Keep posting if you need to...

crochetdiva Sun 20-Jul-08 10:11:44

Thank you both - it just seems so personal!

Off to teach Sunday school now - will try again to bf later - may take us both to bed this afternoon.

Bumperlicious Sun 20-Jul-08 10:27:49

Good luck crochetdiva, and bit ouch for you. DD just seemed to find my screams of pain quite funny hmm

A bath together is a good idea, willself's relaxation techniques. I have completely stopped last feeds before bed as DD was biting due to impatience at the lack of let down. Maybe try a glass of wine at the same time when she does feed again

crochetdiva Mon 21-Jul-08 18:45:51

Right - progress report ...

She still hasn't fed from me - I have tried relaxation techniques (we went to our usual yoga class this morning, and during the relaxation period, I usually feed her, but this morning, she screamed so much I had to take her out sad)

We spent yesterday afternoon in bed together - all she seemed to want to do was pinch my nipple hmm ...

She's slept with me every night, but keeps turning away from me, and wriggling over to dh.

We've had a bath together, which was nice, but the situation hasn't changed any.

Despite the not feeding, she's become almost surgically attached to me - she wants to be held constantly, which is fine, but tiring - and not much fun for ds, who doesn't have school as it's the holidays.

I'm offering the breast really often - she just sees it, arches her back, screams, and flips herslef over so she's not anywhere near it. As soon as she does that, I leave it alone - should I try and force the issue a bit more?

This is really affecting her sleep - she's so sleep deprived (and so am I!), that she seems to be on a perma-whinge.

Any more tips and ideas would be very welcome.

tiktok Mon 21-Jul-08 19:06:43

crochet - you are making progress. She has not bitten you again, she is enjoying being close to you, and she is finding her way back to you in her own way.

My suggestion would be 'don't offer' - at this age, she will make any change of heart obvious, and as offering seems to remind her of whatever it is that's putting her off, you could be lengthening the strike.

It's hot, expose your chest when you can, let her come to you on her terms

Another bath would be good, too.

crochetdiva Mon 21-Jul-08 19:22:50

Thank you tiktok - I'm quite glad you've said not to offer: that seems to be putting more pressure on us both.

Right, tonight, I won't offer - as you say, when she wants bf usually, she lets me know!

I shall carry on expressing regularly though - one positive thing (I've had to find something) - I know that I'm producing plenty of milk!

FeelingDeviant Mon 21-Jul-08 19:34:16

Crochetdiva - nothing to add but just words of support. Exactly the same thing happened to me - DD bit, I reacted and she went on strike. Posted here and got lots of advice from MonkeyBird and kellymom, and DD came back and happily breastfeeding at 14 months.

Similarly, your DD WILL come back despite you feeling rejected and thinking it's all over (I felt the same way).
Stay relaxed.
Only other additional advice would be - when co-sleeping, sleep with an open top to make it easier for her to help herself if she wants.

Remember she WILL come back.
Just let us know when she does!

JammyQueenOfTheSewers Mon 21-Jul-08 20:55:16

I had this a few weeks ago. Three times (within abot 2 minutes) she bit me sharply and I yelped. And after that she wouldn't come near me for a feed for 3 days. If I as much as started to lift my top she arched her back and screamed and screamed. On the 3rd day she got in from nursery and took a feed from me and after that it was OK again.

Hope it goes Ok for you again soon.

crochetdiva Wed 23-Jul-08 17:27:44

Progress report:

DD still isn't feeding from me, but I'm more relaxed about it, and have stopped offering the boob, although I do make sure they are available for her if she wants them.

She did feed from me for about 30 minutes last night - it was the best feed ever - however, she was asleep while she was feeding: as soon as she woke up again, it was business as usual.

I'm going to try having another bath with her tonight - it certainly can't hurt!

Thank you to everybody who has given their stories - it makes me feel much better to know that I'm not the only one this has happened to.

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