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Thinking of giving up bfing - tell me the pros and cons

(11 Posts)
Bumperlicious Mon 14-Jul-08 17:13:53

DD is nearly 13 months. I am at work 3 days a week. When I am at work she feeds in the morning and usually when I get in the door. When I am home she bfs as and when she wants except last thing before bed as she went through a stage of biting through impatience.

I'm starting to feel as though I can't be bothered any more. It doesn't help that she wants both boobs out at the same time and likes to switch frequently been them. If I don't let her then she sobs. It means I rarely feed her in public anymore. In the morning feeds take about 20 minutes which I could do without. The whole thing has basically become a bit of a drag.

But DD obviously still really wants it, I have no idea how to stop, and I will feel so bad having to stop her. Also, part of what majorly keeps me going is principle, I can't describe it really but I feel like I want want to carry on to make a point. Really I want to want to carry on.

Can anyone advise me? Does this pass? Do you get a second wind? What are good reasons to keep going, and will I miss a "window"?

princessofpower Mon 14-Jul-08 17:32:09

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Bumperlicious Mon 14-Jul-08 19:07:54

Thanks PoP. Still don't know what to do, anyone got any more thoughts?

RhinestoneCowgirl Mon 14-Jul-08 19:18:18

Bumperlicious, my DS is a few weeks off 2 yrs and I think that we have stopped bf. He last fed on Saturday. He probably would be still going, but I am 4 months pg and it was getting a bit uncomfortable for me.

I have been v gradually cutting down over the past 6 months and have found it fairly easy to distract. It helps that he has more language now and I can explain things a little more.

He had a D&V bug a few months ago and it was great to be able to feed him thro it (he couldn't keep anything else down, including water). He is a fairly healthy chap, but I am aware this is only anecdotal...

princessofpower Mon 14-Jul-08 19:19:54

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nowwearefour Mon 14-Jul-08 19:22:16

I am in a similar situation only i do want to stop. my dd2 is 13 months (nearly 14) and although i LOVE the idea of carrying on the fact i have been pregnnt/ breastfeeding since oct 04 just means i am keen to get my body back just for me ! she really wants to carry on and i feel soooo mean but i just cant do it any more. the tie is just too much for me. i also feel so bad for dd1 as i have to be away in a room just me and dd2 and i feel enough is enough. so for me i am trying v v v hard to stop - think i might have made it now ! it is a hard decision. only you can make the right one for you.

chloemegjess Mon 14-Jul-08 19:24:37

Bumperlicious. I have been feeling the same as you, but my DD is only 6.5months. I really dont want to do the whole formula thing but I am just don't particually enjoy BF anymore. BUT my DD LOVES a bottle of formula, which makes it even more tempting to give in and stop BF. She will literally snatch the bottle off me and down the lot!

But I really wanted to BF for 1 year, so I could go straight to cows milk. So I know what you mean about wanted to carry on for the principle.

Could you maybe give your DD one bottle/cup of cows milk a day for now and see how she goes with it? And then see how you feel in a week or so? And see how she is coping?

lenny101 Mon 14-Jul-08 19:29:08

Hi Bumperlicious. It's really good you've recognised you might just want to carry on in principle. I would think that if you've really had enough and it comes across to you dd it might really be time to stop. But maybe it's just a blip. I say that because I've had a few! ds1 2.6 ds2 13mths.

I would suggest putting yourself in the mind set of really having stopped... what would you miss? What would she miss? What would you gain? Maybe write them all down. Then make a decision. Better a positive decision than by default.

13mths is really an achievement. Hope you come to a decision you're comfortable with. x

lenny101 Mon 14-Jul-08 19:32:16

Meant to say 13mths is really young to start negotiating time limits and how much flesh is on show isn't it. In my experience they just look at you with a puzzled frown! But shortly it won't be. If these are the two main issues they would be much more easily remedied soon.

Bumperlicious Tue 15-Jul-08 23:00:36

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to go back to the old "take it each day at a time". I think I am just going to do it a bit more on my terms where I can.

I think part of me is scared, this sounds stupid, but bfing has partly defined me as a mother, it for me has been part of a wider decision in how I chose to parent my baby. I have found something that I am passionate about and feel that if I stop I lose membership to a kind of club. Wanky I know, but that's how I feel.

lenny101 Thu 17-Jul-08 19:26:53

Didn't see your final post until today Bumperlicious. Wanted to say I don't think it's wanky at all. I know just what you mean. It feels too important to give it up on a whim. Taking each day at a time is a great way of looking at it. Just fed ds1 to sleep with exactly that in mind.
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