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'Will you still be bf her when she is 5 '? Why is this ok when she is only 6 mths old ?

(115 Posts)
lilyloo Wed 09-Jul-08 11:36:02

My dd is now 6 mths old and it seems others think i have done my bf now.

However i would like to carry on as dd is my last dc, i enjoy it and so does she.

She is piling on the weight , not sleeping but hey ho ! I feel like we have done the hard bit and can now enjoy it but it seems to some like there is something 'wrong' with me to carry on.

What do i say to these comments ? I stopped with ds at 6.5 mths partly through feeling i should so don't want to be made into doing it again!

sleepycat Wed 09-Jul-08 11:39:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moomin Wed 09-Jul-08 11:39:41

Who's "others"? Why should you give a monkeys what they think? As long as you're happy. Make some comment about what they feed their kids and see how they like it (they won't) but somehow bf seems to give some people the mistaken thought that they can make comments. Bizarre and rude.

reethi96 Wed 09-Jul-08 11:40:40

Tell them to mind their own business and to go and educate themselves.

TigerFeet Wed 09-Jul-08 11:42:17

Smile beatifically and say "Yes, I might do."

PrettyCandles Wed 09-Jul-08 11:43:28

They are blinkered idiots.

I had the same comments with my second dc. I had also stopped bfing my first by 6m, though for different reasons to you. Afetr explaining countless times the benefits of bfing for both me and the baby, and also that the likelihood would be that she would give up of her own accord well before school, I gave up on them. Eventually I just told them their comments were hurtful and unhelpful, and would they please shut up. Maybe I was a little more polite than that.

And this was with a cows' milk-intolerant baby!

NormaStanleyFletcher Wed 09-Jul-08 11:51:57

smile and say "oh, I'm sorry, I never imagined you would have unresolved ussues around breastfeeding? I wonder where that comes from"

NormaStanleyFletcher Wed 09-Jul-08 11:52:41

in a patronising sympathetic tone of voice

lilyloo Wed 09-Jul-08 12:13:25

others have been
mum in the playgound
teacher at pre school
mil (with specific 'at 5'comment')

I hate feeling as though i have to justify it but i am never sure what to say and feel slightly embarassed saying i am going to carry on because 'we' enjoy it.

MotherJones Wed 09-Jul-08 12:14:53

Just look at them and say "Isn't it amazing that I am continuing to do exactly what is best for my child?! Am-a-zing!!! I'm an amazing mother!"

Keep going until you and your child want to stop. As we all know the longer the better...

Your daughter will have the last laugh when she is physically and emotionally strong and healthy (and smarter, and funnier and more beautiful and, well, I just think bfing is a super power and one we should cherish and relish)!

FrannyandZooey Wed 09-Jul-08 12:17:29

I would say "I doubt it; most children do self wean between 2 and 4 you know, but I suppose it is possible," then do annoying beatific smiling thing

toddlerhip Wed 09-Jul-08 12:20:02

Honestly, i have been through the lot with bf - recurrent mastitis, i've stopped completely, and restarted, I've been dairy free for a year for ds, i've had low milk and upped it. I've had so little confidence and now, with ds at almost 17mo am still bf between 2 and 4 times a day. I've had family with no bf experience on at me non stop "is it really worth it" and "it's far too much trouble", "it takes too much time", "you need to get on with things" etc, this after i'd battled for 4 months to restart from dry and we were finally there. Having just got there I actually gave in to family pressure and reduced the number of times i bf (what an idiot!)angry

Once, a doctor even asked when I was planning to stop despite it being this regions policy to encourage bf as long as possible (he inexplicably didn't want to give me the calcium tablets that had been prescribed at St Thomas's!) But a hv told me they support bf even til age 3 if both want.

Bf can be really hard, so if you've managed it, make the most of it. Having been completely inexperienced and unconfident for months and months about the whole thing i would now say to anyone - it's your baby, and your boobs, its a great thing to be able to do for them and you can only do it for a while. It's good for them physically, it's useful at night and on aeroplanes, it's convenient, it's fabulous for bonding, it's peaceful, it's a wonderful way to end the day, no matter how stressful it's been, it's good for you too. Do it YOUR WAY and don't let anyone else push you around or undermine you. That kind of thing can be so damaging to you and your confidence quite apart from trying to persuade you to take something awawy from your dc which is good for them. If they keep on at you, they are not being good friends on this subject at least so tell them to butt out and mind their own damn business grin.

lilyloo Wed 09-Jul-08 12:20:07

LOL am storing all these up to use grin

mankyscotslass Wed 09-Jul-08 12:21:14

I hate this, I got it with youngest manky. I ended up smiling and saying, "I dunno, I might be, but I am sure he will stop before he goes to uni".
He self weaned at 22 mths, it left me bereft. sad

harpsichordcarrier Wed 09-Jul-08 12:24:38

oh it's ridiculous isn't it? people are so ridiculous about bf.
I would either do what Norma suggests
or the other thing I do is laugh reallu uproarously (sp?) as if they have made a very funny joke
that's very annoying too, I imagine smile

toddlerhip Wed 09-Jul-08 12:24:40

I wish i could say things more like NormaStanleyFletcher envy

I do think it is often people who have not bf or who have issues with it who undermine it. Who are they to tell you what to do? And why is it we always feel guilty about pleasure in this country?

kiskidee Wed 09-Jul-08 12:27:19

pretend to misintrepret the underlying meaning and naively say:
possibly! i didn't realise you were so pro-extended feeding!

or dreamily:
I don't know. We both are benefitting so much from breastfeeding... don't you think this is a very good reason to continue (for as long as possible)? (puts the ball back in their court?)

lilyloo Wed 09-Jul-08 12:28:09

Me too toddlerhip i love some of these comments but not sure i could say it.
Then i think why not if they are happy to comment on my choices hmm

NormaStanleyFletcher Wed 09-Jul-08 12:29:56

Don't give me credit for that answer btw - I stole it from someone else on MN grin

Baffy Wed 09-Jul-08 12:35:08

I like F&Z's comment the best

I really would try hard just to ignore people like that.

But I think some people, especially MIL with that comment, could do with putting in their place!

Or how about, er, "piss off it's none of your business"!! wink

FrannyandZooey Wed 09-Jul-08 12:37:23

oh you could say innocently "will yours be still having a bottle when he is 5?"

but smile and ignore probably the best really

CatIsSleepy Wed 09-Jul-08 12:38:16

tell them you are on an economy drive in these credit crunch times-formula is expensive doncha know

Baffy Wed 09-Jul-08 12:38:28

Actually, I like mankyscotslass's comment too - "I dunno, I might be, but I am sure (s)he will stop before (s)he goes to uni".

Very good grin

CatIsSleepy Wed 09-Jul-08 12:40:31

although the real answer is of course that it's absolutely none of their business...

PinkTulips Wed 09-Jul-08 12:41:49

i tend not to discuss bf with anyone really, i still bf ds in public til 1 year but luckily at the time i had several friends who were all feeding older babies too. he's 2 this month and still bf but there isn't a single person besides dp who knows that, i don't feel the need to share. i don't hide it but it hardly comes up in conversation alot and i don't find it necessary to tell people.

just tell them 'we'll be continueing as long as feels right for both of us, not that it's any of your business.' and give them a long pointed stare.

there are brilliant facts and figures on kellymom that you can use to make your point if you do want to argue the issue but tbh i could never be arsed.

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