Got told off for feeding in cafe yesterday...

[chatname]

There's a cafe in a town local to us that hubby and I have often used since we moved to our village 18 months ago.

I have been in there 3 times since I had my son, who's a month old. It is a "Christian" cafe and I felt it was a safe place to breastfeed in public. Yesterday, one of the workers told me that she didn't think I should be feeding my son the way I did, because I wasn't discreet enough.

This was despite wearing a mac over a maternity dress with a breastfeeding neckline, feeding my son under the mac with the lapels pulled up and sitting at the back of the cafe with my back to most of the other customers.

This woman told me that she thought I should "put a nappy over the baby's head ( ) so that other people couldn't guess what I was doing" and said that she thought it might be embarrassing for any male customers they might have, if they realised I was breastfeeding.

I found this quite extraordinary and rather embarrassing . I don't really want to go back there again now!

I am wondering what to do next, whether to write to the manager or what, but I wondered if anyone has had any similar experiences and what you think/ would do/ have done.

[TrinityRhino]

write to manager
go back and do it again ALOT

if you are in scotland, you can contact the police as they have broken the law

[wonderstuff]

omg is there another cafe in town, i wouldn't want to give them my business! poor you i would be livid

[wonderstuff]

prhaps a letter to local paper?

[MrsBadger]

where in the countyr are you?

we will organise lots of Mners to go there and bf while saying 'it;s lovely to have found somewhere so tolerant'

[micci25]

a nappy over his head!!!! wouldnt that have made it even more obviuos?

if any male customers were embarrassed they would have just looked away. sounds more like staff member was embarressed to me. have a word the manager.

[DonDons]

poor you - that's awful - am going to a pre-wedding meal with friends in 2 weeks and fully intend to BF DD in restaurant but am dreading just this sort of thing happening (am not in Scotland) (will be my first public outing too)

[Pruners]

Message withdrawn

[wonderstuff]

oh like the mass bfing idea..

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

That's ridiculous - definitely complain.

And on the 'Christian' front, don't they know that Jesus was bf

[Bucharest]

Don't write to the local media- write to the national media. And your MP. Tell us who your MP is and we'll all write to him.

[Bucharest]

PS Are they not also against the law in England if the child is under the age of 1??

[Lizzer]

FFS Vote with your feet-don't go back. Tell everyone you know what happened, get them on side. Villages love this, by the time the rumour mill has done its rounds she'll be a satan worshipping, ne'er-do-well who hit your baby over the head with a nappy. Don't let her make you feel bad

[wonderstuff]

bucharest no law in england at all, read that govt will pass one for babes under 6mo (cause of course no need for bf after 6mo)

[lackaDAISYcal]

Write to the manager/owner. Did you get the name of the staff member?

what were you supposed to do; let him scream in hunger? I'm sure that would've upset far more customers, the majority of whom probably hadn't even noticed you were there or what you were doing.

Name and shame the cafe...go on!

[unfitmother]

Name and shame in press

[TinkerbellesMum]

It's against the law in England under the sex discrimination act to treat a woman any differently or give her different service because she is breastfeeding.

Speak to the manager about what happened, ask if they know that the way you was treated is illegal and see what the response is. If you don't get anywhere then take it further, MP, Press etc. You have to ask yourself do you want to shame them or make it a legal matter?

[AttilaTheAntiHun]

I would write to them, explaining that mary bf-ed The Christ Child. And that there are numerous beautiful paintings depicting this wonderful relationahip.

Then I'd ring your local paper and insist that they interview you.

[chipmonkey]

Yep, no Cow and Gate in Bethlehem!

[chatname]

Hmmm. Ideally, I would like them to re-evaluate their thinking on this and for it not to happen again with someone else. If that could happen via a simple but forcefully worded letter to the manager, that would be good.

Does anyone have any links to a clear statement of the bit of the law re sex discrimination and bfing in public in England? Apologies for quoting something from the Mirror! It does seem that the law is beefier on this than I had realised.

[wonderstuff]

here response to recent petition quotes sex discrimination law

[AbbeyA]

I would write to the manager and inform the local paper. It isn't a Christian attitude!
It is also against the law to stop you (or soon will be).

[Going2bAccredited]

Go to the home page as there is an article on breast feeding in public and how the law is going to be changed in favour of breast feeds.

I regularly breast feed my DD (almost 11 now) and DS (8)in public places - always discretly and was complemented on my bravery to do so.

[TrinityRhino]

goingtobeaccredited

could I politely ask why you are still feeding an 8 and 11 year old??

[AttilaTheAntiHun]

Lol at TRinity. I did the same double-take - I think she means that she used to feed them. If you read the rest of the sentence it is clearly in the past tense.

I went at the idea of random old ladies congratulating a woman for feeding a near-teenager in public, however discreetly!