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[mawbroon]

Sorry to keep going on about this to those who have read my "will he ever wean" threads!

I was doing "never offer, never refuse" with my ds (2.7) and it ended up that he was wanting to feed non stop. Everything we did ended in him wailing for "mummy's miiiiiiiilk". He was hanging on my leg and just clingy, whiney and miserable. And for the first time ever, I was tempted to send him to Granny's just so I could get away from him. That made me feel terrible, because normally he is such a joy to be with all day long (honestly, he is!)

So, "enough is enough" I thought and on Tuesday, decided to start saying "no" to him. The first day was hard, but I was childminding so firstly didn't have the time to feed him all day and secondly, the other children were a good distraction for him. Yesterday was much better and he seemed to accept "no" but still got a bit upset. Today was great, he went from a feed in the morning right through until bedtime without feeding and was pretty much happy as Larry all day.

Now, me being me, I have been thinking about this a lot, and was trying to understand why he was getting so upset when he was feeding so much, especially when it seemed to be such a great comfort to him. It really puzzled me. But now the penny has dropped that by allowing him to feed whenever he wanted, there was no boundary. He has boundaries for every other thing in his life, but none for this. No wonder the little chap was so upset. Cue mummy guilt from me.

I don't really know why I am posting this really. But I am hoping that if we can keep to two feeds a day then I will be posting about a new pregnancy soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[Tapster]

I'm in the same boat, just got my 19 month DD down to two feeds a day she was feeding 4-10 times and would feed when anxious. I've had two early miscarriages so no choice but to wean. Not sure whether going down to two feeds will be enough for me in terms of fertility, as some women on here haven't got pregnant until they stop completely. DH urging me to keep going and the next two feeds over the next days and I'm a bit heartbroken about it.

Well done for cutting down I've resorted to crips and chocolate buttons when DD tantrums due to no milk. DD won't drink cows milk so not giving any alternative - are you?

[theAfkaUrbanDryad]

I don't suppose distracting with water/juice works? I do this with my ds as well as the don't offer don't refuse thing (i don't want him to wean, particularly, but i thought it was pretty much what you did at this stage IYSWIM!) and I figured if he could be distracted with water then he obviously wasn't that bothered by it.

my ds is younger though - 17 months - and doesn't feed on the days he's with his dad or at nursery.

Good luck with the TTC!

[mawbroon]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages Tapster. I also had an early one in January. I had managed to cut ds down to four feeds a day at that point so am hopeful that feeding twice a day will make the difference. Breastfeeding seems to make me ovulate much later and leaves my luteal phase too short for implantation. I think that cycle where I did conceive, my LP was a bit longer, but probably not long enough to build up the womb so it was able to sustain the pregnancy.

Ds is intolerent to cows milk. He was drinking rice milk for a long time, but I think it is too sweet and not good for his teeth tbh. I have noticed that his eating is now fantastic, compared to pickiness before and he is drinking lots more water.

He doesn't really tantrum about the milk, just gets terribly upset. I have been offering him drinks of water and then we sit down and read his books for as long as it takes to get him to calm down.

I am really hoping that I don't have to give up completely. I want to tandem feed. LOL

[fishie]

mawbroon, i'm not trying to stop bf but am in a similar position with boundaries. in my case because i work and so tend to be available when am at home.

i have recently realised that i don't give enough time to just sitting on sofa (or similar) with ds, bf is always being the closeness, where really it should just be one aspect of it.

[mawbroon]

x post UD. The distraction thing with water doesn't always work. I have found that going out all day is a good distraction for him as he rarely asks when we are out. And I am prepared to just pop him in the backpack and walk round the neighbourhood if nothing else works!

fishie, we do spend a lot of time reading and chatting and whatever, but it got to the stage where any time I cuddled him at all, he wailed for mummy's miiiiiiiiilk.

Today has only been the second day ever in DS's life when he has fed morning and night and not at all through the day.

I think because of his cow's milk intolerence, I have been glad to let him have as much milk as he likes to keep up his calcium, etc etc. Now I have tried him on goat's milk/cheese and he seems ok with it, so I don't feel quite so bad about it.

[fishie]

xpost, that is v interesting re longer luteal stage. me too.

ds is older than yours i think, so we have been through the 'no' bit already. i was at pub last night and he asked dh for milk!

[Tapster]

Lets hope we have some luck with ttcing. I'm ovulating at the right times but I've read that for some women still BFing they have low progestrone that hinders implantation.

I have to admit that I've continued BFing partly as my DD doesn't seem to like anything very milky/cheese or fish so I'm worried about her omega and calcium levels. I haven't tried goats milk - does it taste different, agree rice milk too sweet for regular use.

[mawbroon]

The goats milk isn't bad actually Tapster. It has a slightly more tangy taste than cows milk, but it's really not that different tbh. Re the rice milk, surprisingly, although it is really sweet, it actually has the same amount of sugar as cows milk. I just didn't like the thought of ds getting hooked on such a sweet tasting drink.

We had another morning and night only day today (and a feed when he woke at 4am). His sleeping has been dreadful too recently, and I am hoping that cutting down feeding might hold the key to the sleeping as well. Well, one can wish!

I am finding that I am missing those moments of peace and quiet when we sit down together to feed. It was as close as I got to time to myself and I am missing it these last few days. But I am overjoyed to have my lovely ds back.