Giving up BF...cold turkey

[turtle23]

Anybody done it? At what point, how did you cope, etc.

[Thomcat]

I haven't no, sorry. Out of interest why are you giving up overnight? Are you unable to do the weaning him/her off thing?

[StealthPolarBear]

I haven't, but isn't it the same as the process of never starting to bf - i.e. ff from the start? Or is it dfferent once you're supply's a bit more established?
I personally couldn't do it - would always have to at least express a little bit or it's agony

[tiktok]

turtle, it's not normally ever a comfortable option and hardly ever necessary - and it has some risks, too. How old is your baby and is a more gradual weaning an option for you?

[turtle23]

9 weeks...I can't take it anymore. He wont take a bottle from me and only have an extra pair of hands for a few days. BF is making me very very sad and I just want it to stop.
At the same time am overcome with guilt about depriving him.

[hunkermunker]

Oh, sweetheart

Will it help to talk more about why it's making you sad?

Perhaps we can help?

[cazee]

The first few weeks are the worst Turtle, I remember crying thinking that the baby would never stop feeding, but I found it settled down after 12 weeks or so. If you are feeling down it might be that suddenly stopping bf could make you feel worse. Why don't you tell us how you are feeling, and what about bf you are finding hard at the moment?

[georgiemama]

Do you by any chance feel as though DC must be really hungry and therefore it isn't working for him, because he's feeding so much? Because if so, he may be going through a growthspurt and your supply will increase to match his demand, given a few days.

Tiktok and Hunker know so much more about this than anyone (including HVs and midwives, who frequently know little or nothing, or even worse, are totally misinformed). Please tell us the problem, I can guarantee these two ladies will have come across it before.

[turtle23]

He wont take a bottle of EBM or formula really, he wakes at night as I dont seem to produce much in the evenings, had a bad patch with cold that made his latch funny and although it works fine and didn't hurt(he gained a pound in last 10 days) BF counsellor this morning tried with me for half hour to improve it, I'm too tired to "get it" again...I'm just fed up. As a rule, DH wont help with anything, my family are 6000 miles away and MN is the only support I get,
doesn't help much for me to have a few hrs off though.

[cazee]

Waking in the night is completely normal for a 9 week old baby, and in no way implies you are not producing enough milk in the evening.
(My 17 month old DD still wakes for a night feed or 2, but that is another story...!)

[TheProvincialLady]

Oh you poor thing It sounds like you could really do with some practical help. no matter how you decide to feed. Why won't your DH help with anything? Do you think he would be willing to bottle feed your DS and is that one of your reasons for wanting to stop BF?

[TheProvincialLady]

By the way, his waking at night probably has nothing to do with how much milk he has from you in the evenings. My DS was bottle fed EBM so I knew he was drinking gallons, but at that age he still fussed half the evening and slept badly at night. It's very normal, unfortunately.

[turtle23]

My supply is greatly affected by sleep. I know he's getting very little at the moment...can see there's not much. Evil circle of not enough sleep makes not enough milk makes not enough sleep....

[hunkermunker]

If DH doesn't help with anything, there's a good chance you'll be doing bottles by yourself (washing, preparing, heating up, feeding - so more work, not less) - and there's no guarantee formula will make him sleep more.

How often's he waking in the night? Can you co-sleep?

[MissingMyHeels]

Oh turtle, you've done so well even though the last couple of weeks have been a nightmare.

I am full FFing feeding (it's a real faff btw!) now and as I never managed to excl bfeed it wasn't too hard when she just refused to feed from me so can't be much help.

I would be more than happy to take the little monkey for a long, long walk so you can have a few hours to yourself if it would help? I'm nearby and don't have much planned this week.

[hunkermunker]

If he's put on a pound in the last ten days, why do you think your supply's not so good.

[turtle23]

Evenings when I'm well-fed and rested he sleeps 7/8-2 has a feed then sleeps til 630. When not he goes 8-1, 2-3, 4-5, 630-730 or so.

[tiktok]

Turtle

Your baby wakes at night because he is 9 weeks old, not because you are not producing much in the evenings.

"....bad patch with cold that made his latch funny and although it works fine and didn't hurt(he gained a pound in last 10 days) BF counsellor this morning tried with me for half hour to improve it".....er, not sure where the problem is, if it works ok and doesn't hurt, and your baby is thriving so well

"DH wont help with anything"

Not fair. There is loads he could do. If you swapped to formula, you'd have more work with baby care (buying formula, preparing bottles, washing bottles).

You do deserve some time off - but formula could make it less likely than even now

Sudden stopping of bf is really not a good idea, believe me....and you don't sound as if this is what you want to do, you just want a bit of your life back and to gain more confidence in bf.

Please post more with more details if you can.

[cazee]

Turtle. I am not an expert, but I am pretty sure that your sleep patterns are very unlikely to be affecting your supply. Very few mums of 9 week old babies are getting much sleep! It can be very difficult to judge how much milk you are producing. The best indicator is lots of wet nappies I believe, and it sounds as if your baby is gaining weight well.

[TheProvincialLady]

Turtle you don't need sleep to make milk or else no one would be able to BF What sleep deprivation does is make you feel like everything is worse. As for not feeling full, you have been BF for long enough now that your body is starting to calm down on the milk production and doesn't over fill your breasts, so you won't necessarily feel full. If your DS is piling on the weight at that rate, he is definitely getting enough milk even if you can't tell.

I second the faff of FF - so many bottles to wash and so much time making the stuff.

[turtle23]

MMH- thanks, my dear, may take you up on that. Would be good to see you, too. I thought of you this morning as my BF clinic is at Bourne Hall.

[tiktok]

X posted.

The night time pattern is normal - your own rest and diet will not make any difference and if you have spotted a difference, it is coincidence, honest!

[cazee]

Didn't realise Tiktok had posted, and given all that super advice.

[turtle23]

BF counsellor this morning assured me that a)all his problems due to latch b)he should be sleeping much more than he is c)I have to do it the "right" way or he won't get enough. I'm just confused, tired, feeling very alone and consumed with guilt.

[hunkermunker]

Where was the BF counsellor from?