Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

1 2

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

Ranting, swearing within

32 replies

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 17:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

VictorianSqualor · 26/05/2008 17:05

What does he say the problem is?

Report

FrannyandZooey · 26/05/2008 17:07

is this your dp? he leaves the room? whatttt? oh dear
I can;t imagine this happening
am very sorry for you

Report

Seashell71 · 26/05/2008 17:09

Why does he leave the room, has he got issues with bf? What's his problem?

Report

TheProvincialLady · 26/05/2008 17:12

You have told him to fuck off and pack but he won't.
He will read your posts and you will be in trouble.
He is pressuring you to end BF.
He leaves the room when you BF.
He sounds abusive

Report

ChairmumMiaow · 26/05/2008 17:30

DH just read your post and looked at me in bemusement - he can't understand how anyone could behave like that. (He;s sitting next to me while our teething 4 month DS shouts and chews on his finger)

I think telling him to fuck off is the only response - you're doing the best thing for all of you and he should be happy and grateful.

You're not a moron - BF isn't always easy and you do need the support of the ones closest to you so if you're not getting it, you're going to struggle!

Good luck and I hope he decides to either leave you to do the best for your DC or gets his act together and starts to be supportive

Report

scorpio1 · 26/05/2008 17:32

god that is awful. you are doing the best thing, ever for your baby.

Report

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 17:33

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

lucyellensmum · 26/05/2008 17:35

woooaaaah girls, i think there must be other issues going on here - if it is just the BF and it fries his head, does it really matter if he leaves the room - i wouldnt be happy about it, but i wouldnt send him packing either. I would put my foot down and only stop when i was ready. Maybe he needs to get some more info on BF. Some men are just plain weird - mine is v squeemish about lots of things, although has surprised me about others.

Report

3andnomore · 26/05/2008 17:36

he does sound like a complete tosser...if you want to continoue breastfeeding than it is a big deal if he try's to pressureise you into stopping...
Honestly it is his problem...try not to get upset about it (but I know that would be impossible).
You are doing the best for your Baby...!
Very sorry that you have to put up with such stupid behaviour

Report

FrannyandZooey · 26/05/2008 17:36

it's a HUGE deal
he isn't supporting you in something that is best for you and your baby
not only is he not supporting you but he is undermining your commitment to feed your baby this way and behaving like a childish manipulative twat

very sorry to hear about it

Report

lucyellensmum · 26/05/2008 17:37

have you tried expressing some milk so he can do some of the feeds?? not instead of BF but to involve him some more.

Report

lucyellensmum · 26/05/2008 17:41

There is just the possibility that this guy has some issues with BF and isnt a twat at all? Jumping on the collective high horse is not going to help in that situation - he may well just need some support about it, so he can get his head around it. If the baby is happy BF then please please dont stop - but look for ways to help DP understand and accept and be proud of what you are doing. He clearly has a big problem with it and it has the danger of affecting his bond with his child. Talk to your HV and point him in the direction of dadsnet or other dads groups, he may well find he is not alone. Yeah, he is ACTING like a twunt, but its his way of facing out some issues is my thoughts.

Report

FrannyandZooey · 26/05/2008 17:46

if he wants support or help sorting out his issues he is an adult and should be asking for this or arranging it himself
instead he is pressuring the OP to stop doing what is right for her and their baby, because he has some hang ups
there is no excuse for this behaviour at all
ADULTS who have problems with the way a BABY is being fed should get over themselves
or explain very contritely to their partner and ask for help, not say it is because they don't like the noise and pester her to stop before she and the baby are ready

Report

lucyellensmum · 26/05/2008 17:54

i totally agree, to an extent, the fact remains that he isn't and that is twuntish behaviour, but rather than telling him to feck off, might there be more mileage into getting him to sit and talk about it and if he wont THEN tell him to feck off?

Report

TheProvincialLady · 26/05/2008 17:58

VP are you the same poster who had big problems (not just re BF) with your DH following a difficult birth? If so then I am sorry things have got no better.

Report

FrannyandZooey · 26/05/2008 18:01

yes LEM you're right
do you not think if they haven't managed to sort this out in 7 months then it seems unlikely they will be able to?
you are right, though, it might well be possible - but it seems v unfair that the OP should be responsible for sorting out HIS unreasonable behaviour, especially when she has a baby to look after as well
but agree is worth trying to sort out rather than just chucking him out (I was not a chucking out advocate please note )

Report

VictorianSqualor · 26/05/2008 18:09

VP, is he back in your bed yet?
Is it just feeding he doesn't like or do you think he is possibly jealous of Elliot? It can hit some fathers really hard when they realise the reality of a baby and how dependant they are.

Report

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 18:17

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 18:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 18:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

VictorianSqualor · 26/05/2008 18:27

I still think the bed issue is a big one, if you were to sleep (not sex)together it would regain some of the intimacy which I think is a huge part of it.

How does he feel about you BFing apart from not wanting to watch? Does he agree with your views on it apart from being around when you do it or does he think you should stop?

If he supports you in it but can't bring himself to be around then it's one issue (him not liking to see), but if he doesn't support it at all it's a different issue iyswim.

Do you do anything together? without Elliot? (not saying this is because of him at all, but you need to focus on your relationship as a couple rather than as parents).

Lastly, can do friday or weds this week, and I'd come to you as the kids are desperate to go on a train if you want?

Report

VictorianSqualor · 26/05/2008 18:28

sorry x-post.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

TheProvincialLady · 26/05/2008 18:37

I thought it must be you.

I do think it seems odd that your DH doesn't want to be around when you and your DS are at your most intimate - whilst BF and in bed. I know that early on he was jealous but what do you think it is about now? How is he when you are having other intimate snuggly times?

Report

VacantlyPretty · 26/05/2008 19:51

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Report

VictorianSqualor · 26/05/2008 19:55

Yeah, it's half-term so DD will be coming too, she's quite pleased about that though as when I had mentioned coming she thought she'd miss out on a train journey

Believe it or not, once you've got two, three is easyYes, it's fan-fkn-tastic.

What does he say about not sleeping with you? Is it because of the feeding in the night? Would you consider stopping co-sleeping if it would help? (not sure how feasible that is with E still having night feeds, depends how much he is waking really)