Just started to THINK about switching to FF for lunch, and the guilt has started already...

[Sanguine]

I'm going back to work in August, and DS is going to nursery. I hate expressing (bad memories of trying to force myself to produce milk when DS was born), and I just don't even want to think about doing it at work. Since the beginning, DS has had a little bit of formula in his diet - to start with it was a necessity because I wasn't producing enough and he got horribly dehydrated. After I finally started to produce enough, we kept giving one bottle at night because it worked for us, DP enjoyed giving one feed a day, and it helped me feel more secure about things. It seems like a sensible plan to start to give him a second bottle instead of a breast feed at lunch time so that my milk supply can adjust, and I'm not going to work with huge leaking norks.

I've never really enjoyed breast feeding, and now DS (23 weeks) has a tooth and has started biting me and yanking me about, it's even less fun. The thing is, I battled long and hard, pumping day and night to get enough milk to feed my little chap, just through sheer bloody-mindedness and a conviction that it was the best thing for him. Now I'm thinking about stopping BF for the day time, I suddenly feel very guilty, and wonder if I'm actually doing it for selfish reasons. Can someone reassure me that it's a perfectly sensible thing to be doing, or else give me some other sort of advice for heading back to work?

It's all very silly, I've never really been a BF zealot, and I'm surprised at myself for my dithering. Not like me at all.

[Niecie]

You have given him an excellent start in life, much better than most babies seem to get if the breast feeding stats are correct. If you don't feel you can carry on then a bottle of formula won't do any harm. Breast feeding is wonderful but you do have to put in the context of the rest of your life and if you feel that a bottle is what is needed now then do it.

How would you feel about giving him a feed in the morning and evening? It is perfectly possible to keep going for quite a while like that.

I am sure somebody who knows all the answers will be along in a minute but I just wanted to say I sympathise and with your feelings. I gave a bottle a day to DS1 at 7mths (also never got on with expressing)and although I felt bad it was wonderful being able to leave him for a while and also to share the intimacy of feeding with DH and DS's grandmothers too. I finally stopped completely at 13mths so it needn't be the end if you don't want it to.

[Sanguine]

Thanks niecie. I'm glad to hear that I can carry on in the mornings and evenings. I'm a little bit concerned that my milk supply will just disappear, given that it's been a bit rubbish in the past, but I'll give it a go.

I wonder if it's all getting mixed up with worry/guilt about going back to work and leaving him during the day? I really love my job, it's fulfilling and enjoyable and I'm really looking forward to going back in a lot of ways. I didn't think I'd have a problem with it because the nursery is on site (I work at a hospital) and it's a really good one, and I always intended to go back to work. However, my DS is now so much fun, and developing so fast, that I've got a real sense of the clock ticking. And TBH, a little bit of me is sad he won't be so reliant on me any more. Even though I don't really enjoy my breasts being attacked. Gah! I feel so... complicated!!

[Louise76]

Hi there, my dd is 22 weeks old and she had her last bf on Sunday. I too have wrestled with the guilt of giving up but I have to say that I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. My dd was starting to muck around with feeding (feeding used to be quick and easy until she starting hitting me, turning her head with my nipple in her mouth, coming off and on, choking, crying etc etc) and now that she is on formula she seems more content and my dh can share the feeding. I really wanted to make it to 6 months but I believe bf was making me physically and mentally unwell. I've had 3 courses of anitbiotics for various infections since dd was born and am waiting on blood test results to check my thyroid function. I have lost a lot of weight since dd was born too.

Please don't beat yourself up about wanting to stop and if it is the best thing for you and your lo go ahead and don't feel guilty.

Probably best not read some of the other threads on here about extreme bf, bf toddlers and 'whose baby has never tasted formula'!!!

Good Luck

[Niecie]

I am surprised nobody has come a long with more practical advice on how to maintain your supply for the evening and mornings.For me, my supply didn't just disappear and I know other women who have gone back to work and still fed in the mornings and evenings but how you can protect that, I don't know - mine was more by luck! Hopefully my reply will bump this for you!

It is a very poignant thing to stop bf I think, even if you are only giving up in stages. Part of me was really happy to give it up and not have my two DSs reliant on me so much and part of me was really sad about the passing of time and them not needing me anymore - anybody could have taken care of them. Obviously that isn't true because that only takes account of the physical needs not the emotional ones but what you know in your head and what you feel are sometimes different, aren't they. But in the end, if it is a struggle and it is going to become logistically difficult then you have to do what is best for both of you.

My DS2 was terrible at yanking me about btw. I sympathise there - he didn't bite much but he used to like to look around the room whilst still attached to me and he seemed to like the 'pop' when he leant right back - I am surprised my boobs aren't round my knees after feeding him. In the end he made me so sore that I got an open wound and ended up with an infection so it was time to stop. He was 16 mths by then and I think he had had enough but even though I was in pain and not enjoying it any more I was still sad and guilty. Sometimes those hormones have a lot to answer for!

I hope it all goes well for you and you enjoy being back at work.