How do I decide when it is time to stop bf ds2 (12months)?

[love2sleep]

I'm now just feeding him at bedtime. It works well for us and I've been really lucky to have had a really easy time bf both him and ds1. I'm starting to wonder how long I'm likely to go on feeding him and how I know when the time has come to stop. At the moment I am continuing because I can't think of a good reason to stop iyswim.

With ds1 a natural time to stop occured when he was 15 months and I was pregnant with ds2. He stopped wanting it and I was happy to stop in case I was going to find it harder later on in my pregnancy. But with ds2 I don't think there will be such a natural time to stop.

I'm really interested to know what factors influenced your decisions to stop. It would be nice to get back into normal bras and to not be bursting out of the top of my bra towards the end of the day but these seem quite minor compared to the pleasure that bf gives ds2. Also knowing the comfort I can give him if he is poorly etc is a factor for me.

thanks

[chipmonkey]

love2sleep, I am a fan of waiting till baby self weans but didn't do this with ds3 as bfing appeared to be stopping me conceiving again. I did bf him till he was 2.8 and have to say that compared to ds1 and ds2 who got loads of infections, tummy bugs and glue ear between the age of 1 and 2, he was much healthier. Look at the hot milk range of bfing bras, they are gorgeousa! Available from figleaves!

[bobsmum]

love2sleep - by the time I was down to the bedtime feed I went back to wearing ordinary underwired bras. I got properly fitted though - don't go back to your pre preg ones.

As I was just feeding dd and ds at home in their rooms, it didn't matter that I didn't have a nursing bra - I just unfastened the back and did it that way. Fed ds til about 18 months and dd til 22 months. They both self weaned and asked for a cup of milk at bedtime.

No reason to stop if you're comfy and happy. Agree that it's fab when they're poorly

[love2sleep]

thanks for these.

can you say a bit more about your experiences of "self-weaning"? Did your los suddenly stop wanting it altogether or was it a more gradual thing? None of my rl friends kept going this long so I'm a bit clueless about what to expect.

I'm not using feeding bras any more - would love some new ones but seems a waste of money if I end up stopping fairly soon. Am currently in very dull M&S basics.

thanks again.

[bobsmum]

love2sleep - If you're down to one feed, then your size really won't change very much if you stopped any time soon, so I wouldn't worry too much about not getting new underwear - it would fit fine I think.

When my two stopped, ds just lost interest over a week or so. It was always part of the bedtime routine and he would always have asked for milk, but eventually it was me asking him instead of the other way around.

He'd had milk in a cup in the afternoons for a while and just asked for milk in a cup one bedtime and that was it.

With dd she started becoming more fidgety and distracted at bedtime and just wasn't bothered. I offered her milk in a cup and she wasn't interested. So one night I said daddy was putting her to bed, thinking she would scream the house own demanding her milk, but she didn't. I was half gutted and half happy that she was moving on to another stage. I had hoped to get to the magic 2 years as it's so good for their immune system and neither of my 2 have been great milk drinkers other than breast milk.

Interestingly now ds is 5 and dd is nearly 3, they're suddenly very keen to have a glass of milk nearly every day - go figure!

Anyway, I thought 'self-weaning' would be some dramatic drawn out process, but actually for us it just meant they lost interest and were quite happy to do without. So we stopped.

With baby no3, I'll do the same, but will definitely try to keep it in their diet for as long as possible - for their immune system and purely selfishly for me for all the health benefits I'll get from b/f long term.

Go and treat yourself to some lovely undies and carry on for as long as you feel like it

[Elasticwoman]

I was glad I was still bf my ds when he was 20 months and had v bad gastro bug. It was the only food he could keep down at one stage, after he went floppy and had temp of 40 degrees.

I carried on feeding him intermittently, when he wanted it till he was over 4. I wore normal bras, and he normally only fed when I was in nightclothes. My boobs were back to normal long before I finally finished feeding ds, because he stopped feeding so gradually.

I suppose I influenced things a bit by being less keen to feed him when it was inconvenient for me.