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Ho hum - Ive decided to stop BF and i feel rubbish!!!!!!!!!!

(35 Posts)
OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 12:27:37

dd is 6 months and ive decided im going to bottle feed from now on. I know ive done well to get this far but i still feel like pants - any reassuring thoughts welcome

aloha Mon 20-Dec-04 12:29:11

Why are you giving up? If it makes you feel bad, then don't do it! Or why not taper off gradually, giving the odd bottle feed and still breastfeeding morning and night say, or whenever you fancy it. You don't have to stop all at once. I fed ds erratically for months before stopping altogether at about 14months, when it was easy for both of us.

nailpolish Mon 20-Dec-04 12:30:52

you will feel sh*t - its takes a wee while to get over it but when she starts to hold the bottle in her chubby hands its so funny!!! and when you see her getting used to the bottle and start really enjoying it thatll make you feel better xxx

are you going to express? its a good way to change over gently for you and babe

Joolstide Mon 20-Dec-04 12:34:19

don't feel bad - you've done a great job - well done!

mears Mon 20-Dec-04 12:40:43

Same questions as Aloha - if you feel bad why stop?

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 12:52:31

Because she cries a heck of a lot cos she is tired and finds going to sleep V difficult

I have been giving her a 6pm bottle for a week now in the hope that she would go to sleep without screaming for an hour or more, and that it would help her sleep through - With a bedtime bottle she goes to sleep almost instantly (although with a dummy which i want to ditch)

She still wakes at night though
I bf her at 9pm then a bottle at 2am then bf for brekkie and 11am and recently introduced food with bf at 2:30pm

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 12:57:27

Every time i manage to get the 2am bottle down to 1 ounce she suddenly decides that actually she is desparate for more more more at 2am - cant persaude her to drop it

SHe sleeps so much better on formula -seems like the sensible option cos i cant carry on with no sleep anymore - ds (3) wakes at night too -though he never used too - woke this morning howling at 5am - its rare that i get 3hours uninterrupted sleep

when ds switched to bottles at 5 months life got so much better - cos he slept well at night and had 2hour daytime naps - dd is now doing the same in her cot - with bf it would take ages and ages to settle her

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 12:59:30

Life with bottles seems so much quieter and more sleep for all - but i really wanted to bf to 1 year and beyond this time - hence i feel sad - also sterilising bottles etc is such a pain compared to raising my top - and formula is an extra expense we could do without

nailpolish Mon 20-Dec-04 13:01:07

you could mix feed - bottle and formula evening, bf morning etc

then she has bottles at night if you think that helps her sleep and brest in morning!

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 13:19:46

Think Ill try to continue to feed breakfast - still feel really sad though - Several of my friends bf to 18 months and their babes slept through from 3/4 months - cant help feeling like i have failed - though of course i havent

Its silly cos i know i have done well to bf 95% exclusively till 6months but i still feel sad not to have continued longer.

After a bottle dd gives me the most enormous satisfied grins and smiles - she always looks so happy - never looks like that after bf - Feel i ought to give her what makes her happy - feels so insulting to my milk though

Despite all the postive reasons for introducing bottles i still feel really

ZCMUM Mon 20-Dec-04 13:26:26

Just want to say how brilliant I think you've done! You've done so well to last this long, I gave up after about 3months! It's what feels best to you that counts, don't worry about how long others do it. You definately have not failed in any way, you've given your dd the gift of a healthy future. You should be proud of yourself, so many mums don't even consider bf never mind even try it or last 6m!!!

MrsBigDrumsADrumming Mon 20-Dec-04 13:33:15

OlittleY...
Try to look at the good side of things... you managed 6 months bf and dd has had the best start! Now if she is happy with bottle don't take it as an 'insult' to your milk, just take it as what it is... it's a new experience for her and she likes it . Also if it makes her sleep better... go for it!

DD only just started sleeping through (3) after I had ds 3 months ago so I know what sleep deprivation can do to you - also a component for feeling like sh*t. So try and get some sleep and enjoy your dd's grins

Also you're bound to feel emotional as your hormones are going to change with feeding less or giving it up completely.

MrsBigDrumsADrumming Mon 20-Dec-04 13:36:57

OlittleY...
Try to look at the good side of things... you managed 6 months bf and dd has had the best start! Now if she is happy with bottle don't take it as an 'insult' to your milk, just take it as what it is... it's a new experience for her and she likes it . Also if it makes her sleep better... go for it!

DD only just started sleeping through (3) after I had ds 3 months ago so I know what sleep deprivation can do to you - also a component for feeling like sh*t. So try and get some sleep and enjoy your dd's grins

Also you're bound to feel emotional as your hormones are going to change with feeding less or giving it up completely.

aloha Mon 20-Dec-04 13:37:15

Well, I think you really do know you haven't 'failed'. You may well find that the sleeping is sort of age related rather than just bottle related too. After all, you can't blame that wakefulness in a three year old on bottles/breast can you
My ds was a terrible sleeper (on breast and bottle) so believe me I sympathise with sleep deprivation. If you find formula helps with sleep then I'd say go for it - by the bucketload! Don't worry about the dummy - they don't do any harm at all, esp at 6months. And I suspect keeping some breastfeeding going will help you adjust and feel better about your decisions. Breastmilk is always good for a baby, and you are mixing it up now anyway with solids so just think of the formula as food now, with breastmilk as the icing on the cake.

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 13:38:35

I know I know - its hormones - i know i do feel proud of what i have done but for a day at least i feel a sense of mourning - cos the fact is i enjoyed feeding her and most likely wont be having another - so its not an experience ill have again!

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 13:39:31

Feel sad i wont experience Pregnancy again as well

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 13:40:09

and giving birth - weird i know but i actually enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hunny Mon 20-Dec-04 13:49:49

I'm in exactly your position for exactly the same reasons with the same irrational feelings of failure. But I feel soooo much better for getting more sleep now that ds has formula in the night. Rather than make a complete break I've decided to bf first thing in the morning - it's more of a cuddly snack than a proper bf but makes me feel a bit happier and ds does still enjoy that closeness, and it's usually enough to get him back to sleep for a bit longer.

But agree with everyone else - you've done brilliantly to get this far, particularly enduring all that sleep deprivation along the way. You've done a wonderful thing for your dd and now you just have to do what feels right for both of you. XXX

wrapmefestively Mon 20-Dec-04 13:51:46

I breastfed until 5 months, agonised about giving up, felt 'guilty' like you...but the guilt feelings do go very quickly - believe me.

As everyone has said - you have given her a brilliant start in life with 6 months breastfeeding, well done!

mears Mon 20-Dec-04 15:02:24

You have done brilliantly well and you have to do what suits you both. Seems like a good idea to carry on with her breakfast feed though. What happens if you change to bottles and she still doesn't sleep? You might feel pretty cheated. It is unlikely this phase has anything to do with milk intake IMO. Hope you find a solution that suits you.

merrykittymas Mon 20-Dec-04 16:37:49

Again just wanted to say well done for getting this far.

Can I ask how much food DD is having? It seems like you have just started weaning, is she having 3 meals a day? Personally I would give more food durimg the day and perhaps some formula as well then BF morning and night. She may just be hungry for more food and it's nothing to do with your milk. Maybe more food will make her night sleep better.

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 19:40:22

Thats it exactly Mears - i will feel cheated - cos atm she is still having formula and bf at night- but i have tried so hard for two months to get her to drop the night feeds - and have been unsuccessful

But already with todays first daytime bottle life improved - she had 7 oz of formula at 11am today and slept for 2hrs30mins - would v rarely do that on bf. In fact the last few days she has hardly slept at all during the day - we have endured hours of screaming - not fun

Im sure the night waking is due to not enough food during the day - Ihave tried so hard to tank her up during the day with bf and food - but she is so tired she often cant be bothered to bf - or so it seems - also when we are out distractions etc mean she doesnt bf well - then is desparate during the night

The advantage of formula is that you can pour it down!!!!!!!! If she stuggles to settle i know its not hunger - whereas with bf i top her up - constant not really sure what she needs.

OLittleYurtofBethlehem Mon 20-Dec-04 19:46:04

Wrapmefestively- you are right the sadness (not guilt really just sad) will go esp when i get some more sleep

Hunny - irrational feelings of failure - thats the phrase i was looking for!!!!!!!!!

Tonight when she wakes she will get 3oz, Tommorrow 2oz, the day after 1oz, the day after Ooz! with bf i have never got further than 2oz cos on four occasions she has made such a fuss the 2am has shot back up to 4oz - no doubt cos she was genuinely hungry..........

I will continue Brekkie BF - but i feel pretty sure that bottles the rest of the time will give me some sleep and peace back - Just felt the need to feel today for the passing of an era!
Thankyou for putting up with my wittering!!!!!!!!!!!

Juliettesmum Mon 20-Dec-04 22:16:31

I think that any amount of time breast feeding is great. I felt so bad when I gave up after only 3days! I was still in hospital and feeding was so painful, I just couldn't do it any longer. I cried for 20 mins while baby fed as is hurt me so much. I tried expressing and that hurt too. I felt like I had failed. It was so upsetting. Now I am happy as baby is thriving at seven months (she's a podgy girl)! I wish I had stayed breastfeeding but it is not the end of the world. Baby won't love you any less.

Chickyboo Mon 20-Dec-04 22:44:24

Breastfed for 4 months...when I gave up started to get depressed and loads of hair fell out. I really didn't expect that, along with the guilt of depriving my dd of the breast. It was a very sad time for me

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