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Infant feeding

And the boss lady said.....

37 replies

babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 22:53

...nothing.

Today the unsupportive breast support group was being run by the HCA (who was toeing the line very well) and her boss who is a very lovely lady.

Boss had a word with me, which in a nutshell covered the following. (I had asked her to get more training for this HCA)

She explained that the HCA had received 2 hours of training on infant feeding and would be receiving a breastfeeding training course in the future.

That they had made a decision to keep running up group despite very varying levels of training in the people running the groups. Better in her mind to have bad groups then no groups.

As requested the peer to peer lady had offered help to the boss for the group. The boss said any help given by a volunteer (a successful breastfeeding mother with limited but specific 30 hours of training in breastfeeding) would have to be under the professional (anti breastfeeding woman with 2 hours of infant feeding training) running the group. So even if one of the peer to peer ladies attended this group she is not allowed to contradict the crap advice being given out. i.e. No point.

She implied that I had issues, especially as I was attending the group still. I explained that I attended for social reasons.

She explained that I might misunderstand advice given (that contradict guidance) as I don't understand the background of the mothers involved. Which I agree could cover some but not ALL my concerns.

I explained about my personal experience (I know my own background after all, I can not misunderstand my own situation) with my 4 month DD, whom I was told to wean straight away as she was 'dangerously unweight' The boss tried to defend the HCA saying she might of used the wrong chart (she was 50% on both charts) I explained it was not just the fact that she plotted the graph poorly, it was the following crap advice I objected to. The HCA told me I HAD to wean, I could not boost my supply nor offer more nursing sessions as it 'would not work'

So basically she felt I was an interfering mum and her employee, who encourages weaning, baby rice and early solids and discourages breastfeeding is great !!!

Well, It did surprise me, as I had heard so much positive stuff about the Boss and she was very friendly, so I had expected more action and less excuses as to why the HCA gave rubbish anti-guidline advice. But you can drag a horse to water, you can't make him drink.

All I can do is ...

Continue to write my diary of stupid advice given by the HCA.

Continue attending the group and making nice friends.

See if the training make any difference (LOL...never in a million years)

And encouraging all new mums I meet to use the proper breastfeeding help lines and another breastfeeding support groups (shame there isn't one in the immediate area)

LOL, To think I was panicking about complaining and getting someone in trouble. So on the bright side I was happy to email my full written complaint over, knowing it wasn?t going to result in any action but at least they are on notice of how much of a ?numpty? is running this group. Then they will act surprise why the breastfeeding rates will remain low in the area

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policywonk · 28/11/2007 22:55

God, how frustrating. Does the Boss Lady have a boss?

Maybe she felt that she had to defend her employee to a member of the public (ie, you) but will be taking a firmer line behind closed doors?

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/11/2007 22:56

Oh arse

Can you go to the local paper with this?

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:00

I'm going to have a think, I honestly don't know what to do for the best.

The implication today was it was 'my' issue. But I know several women at the group are unhappy with it....not just me.

I am the only one willing to stick my head on the line though.

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NormaStanleyFletcher · 28/11/2007 23:02


where is the clinic held?
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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:02

An NHS clinic.

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hunkermunker · 28/11/2007 23:03

Did you investigate a MSLC-type committee, BE?

Good for you, to keep going though.

As for boss woman implying it's your ishoos!

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/11/2007 23:04

Even if it was her "ishoos" they've not done much to reassure have they? Just made excuses.

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:08

Her boss is on the local a MSLC-type committee.

I know as my friend is on it. I will ask her to raise this but I'm unsure if she is able to.

Of course I could apply to join the committee myself (my friend had asked me to do so a couple of weeks ago)

But the Boss, is just going to be all the surer that I have a 'thing' about this group.

Well I suppose I do (but nothing personal)...I wish for a supportive group with good information so mothers can make an informed choice...not flipping baby rice samples

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moondog · 28/11/2007 23:12

Jesus Christ almighty.
Y'know I am sometimes ashamed to work for the bloody NHS.

Have a think.You need to basically find someone higher up with influence who knows about breastfeeding.

Two hours!!!
You couldn't bloody make it up could you??

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:13

Of course I have "ishoos".....I nurse a walking, talking toddler plus I'm happy to nurse during night wakening...I need to be shot

Which on a serious note, I think is part of the reason I am not being taken seriously

If I was a normal breastfeeding mum of a tiny baby, with a nice pram (instead of a sling) and nice nappies (instead of pants and using toilet)...they might take my word as meaning more. As it is I am dismissed as a miltant breastfeeder...and I'm not honestly...I'm think I am a relatively nice person.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/11/2007 23:15

If only all mothers could learn all there is to know about b/feeding in 2 hours....

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hunkermunker · 28/11/2007 23:17

Apply to be on it as a user rep. Because it's a good thing to do. Dear God, you can't care about anything these days without people suspecting you of having "motives"! [world weary sighing]

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:19

Thing is, if you ask anyone in the area, who to talk to about breastfeeding and you get ONE name....the Boss's name.

Everyone talks about how supportive and positive she is about breastfeeding and she was fab in the group this morning, she knew what she was talking about and chatted to everyone.

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hunkermunker · 28/11/2007 23:20

Can you ask her outright how long she thinks babies should be bfed for?

Because you're still well within the WHO guidelines of "at least two years". Hell, I'm within them!

I wish I could get to a group, BE, I really do!

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moondog · 28/11/2007 23:22

What is really worrying is when ignorant people think they are right.
Nowt wrong with not knowing stuff but increasingly, people will not admit to it. Tis a modern malaise.I come across similar idiots challenging individuals of this ilk on a daily basis.

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:27

The HCA doesn't THINK she is right, she KNOWS she is right. In all cases and at all times.

That rings many alarm bells for me. I know I don't know much but that is alright I don't go around telling other people what to do with their babies.

I wasn't told outright that I shouldn't be there, it was just implied. But as I pointed out in my email...
'I also need support with nursing sometimes, just because I am nursing a toddler doesn't mean it is all straight forward but as I am not allowed to seek help from this group, I have to ring the breastfeeding help lines to get the advice I need'

Don't forget I can't ask questions within the group and when I said that to the Boss, she said...well, maybe that is for the best at the moment ...{Jaw dropping, best for whom...not for me...I don't feel supported}

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LittleBella · 28/11/2007 23:28

"You need to basically find someone higher up with influence who knows about breastfeeding."

Is there anyone like that in the NHS?

God they are all so shit. There's no point going to the papers about it, because the papers are all run by people who neither know nor care about bf either, so will think you are a nutter because of your sling.

Now you know what it must have been like to be Galileo facing the catholic church. At least they can't threaten you with the inquisition though.

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:29

Off to bed, I'm grateful for all/any advice given.

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hunkermunker · 28/11/2007 23:29

Dear God! What will happen if you DO ask questions? Will the HCA frogmarch you out of the building?!

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moondog · 28/11/2007 23:30

It is shit and we have to change it.
Ring one of the organisations and ask for advice.
Check out Unicef Baby friendly Initiative too.

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NormaStanleyFletcher · 28/11/2007 23:32

I am prepared to hold a banner if you want to pickett

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babieseverywhere · 28/11/2007 23:33

Don't know Hunker...might well tell you next week.

I suspect she'll shout at me and leave the room in a rage...like last time

{BE thinks about letting her do this and then sneaks to the kitchen door and locks it from the outside....LOL}

Really going to bed now and I will NOT rant at my very understanding husband who knows far more about breastfeeding than the HCA

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hunkermunker · 28/11/2007 23:36

Not very professional of her - but does sound like somebody who's very out of her depth and knows it.

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mmelody · 29/11/2007 07:11

Babies i have read some of your other thread but just remind me.. have you actually mad e a formal written complaint? Or just spoken to boss lady?

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NotQuiteCockney · 29/11/2007 07:14

Did the HCA have a different attitude with her boss in the room?

Could you secretly record her talking normally?

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