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Ready to night wears but how? Need a beginners guide I think!

(18 Posts)
Forevercurious Tue 16-Feb-21 10:00:21

DS is now 14 months old and feeds between 1 and 3 times a night, I’m ready to night wean but unsure of the best way. Do I just stop feeding him when he wakes and settle in other ways (I am anticipating lots of crying). He completely self settles for bedtime (has his last feed around 45 minutes before sleep) and sometimes self settles for day time naps, others he’s feed to sleep.

Ideally I’d like to stop feeding to sleep in the daytime too but should I focus on nights first and then start cutting the daytime milk. He will drink oat milk from a beaker throughout the day which is a positive I guess!

I’m just not sure how to tackle the whole issue to be honest. Any help would be appreciated, thanks smile

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BunnyRuddington Tue 16-Feb-21 13:45:41

Dr Jay Gordon's method is very gentle smile

Ohalrightthen Tue 16-Feb-21 13:48:01

We did CC for night weaning at 10m. Gentle it was not, but it only took one night.

Forevercurious Wed 17-Feb-21 07:47:20

Well our first night wasn’t great but we got through, two and a half hours of cuddling, singing, patting, rocking, shushing but he eventually went back to sleep without being fed.

Hoping it won’t take as long tonight. x

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Purplepjs Wed 17-Feb-21 07:50:39

We night weaned at around the same age. The best way we found was to remove me from the situation! Is there someone who could do the night wakings for you? Our little one just associates me with milk but if my husband went in, she settled with a cuddle and a drink of water. After about a week of nights, I was able to go in to her again and settle without milk.

Onedropbeat Wed 17-Feb-21 07:59:46

BunnyRuddington

Dr Jay Gordon's method is very gentle smile

That was really redressing, reassuring and lovely to read

Onedropbeat Wed 17-Feb-21 07:59:59

Redressing = refreshing

Forevercurious Wed 17-Feb-21 08:11:39

@purplepjs My partner did try and settle him but this seemed to upset him even more but that might be because I went in first and tried and then after an hour and 40 minutes we swapped as I needed a break!

I think tonight he can go in first and attempt to settle him. DS has got better at settling for DP so fingers crossed it works now.

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BunnyRuddington Wed 17-Feb-21 08:52:51

* We night weaned at around the same age. The best way we found was to remove me from the situation! Is there someone who could do the night wakings for you? Our little one just associates me with milk but if my husband went in, she settled with a cuddle and a drink of water. After about a week of nights, I was able to go in to her again and settle without milk*

This sounds like good advice. If LOvis in your room can you sleep somewhere else for a few nights or if they have their own room, I'd send DH in to settle him.

There are some tips here on getting LO to settle without a feed smile

BunnyRuddington Wed 17-Feb-21 08:56:21

That was really redressing, reassuring and lovely to read

I found that when our DC1 wouldn't sleep the only method we could find information on, and the method promoted by the HV was CIO which definitely didn't suit our DS, he's such a gentle soul even as a teen and it didn't really fit in with how I like to parent either.

I feel that gentle methods aren't promoted very often but this seems to be a good one. Just wish I'd found it when my DS was the same age smile

Katie272 Sat 20-Feb-21 20:13:37

My baby is almost 4 months old and according to his formula needs 5 feeds of 6oz over a 24 hour period. He’s awake in the morning between 8am and 9am for his first feed then his feeds are spaced about 4 hours apart. His last feed means he’s in bed just before midnight then he doesn’t wake me up until the morning.

I want to find a way to get him into a routine where I can get him to bed at a reasonable time but that won’t mean he’ll be waking up several times to be fed during the night. I see people with babies of a similar age and they have their babies in bed by 6pm. How can I possibly do this without missing a feed or having him wake up early hours of the morning?

becca3210 Sun 21-Feb-21 07:37:14

How are you getting on @Forevercurious I want to start night weaning my 10 month old don't know where to start really

becca3210 Sun 21-Feb-21 07:43:17

My husband could help with first bit of the night so am thinking maybe no feeds before midnight and alternate settling between us. Only thing is my son's first wake is sometimes before midnight and sometimes after so am wondering if I will confuse him by feeding him sometimes but not others? Hmm.

lorisparkle Sun 21-Feb-21 08:24:44

We followed the gradual withdrawal/retreat method when we wanted to stop night feeds. It was described in the book 'teach your child to sleep'.

I find it really frustrating when people say the controlled crying is the only way to sleep train. Whilst the method we chose did take longer it was very effective.

becca3210 Sun 21-Feb-21 16:22:04

Thanks we did this method as well to get my son to sleep in his cot and we stopped feeding to sleep at the same time. We haven't cracked him resettling at night though without a quick feed. Although he tends to go back to sleep quickly after the feed I am keen to reduce feeds and hope this will help to reduce wakings. Will check out that book.

lorisparkle Sun 21-Feb-21 17:01:53

With feeds at night I looked at how long between feeds he was going (at his worse it was 1 1/2 hours!) I then decided that I would increase this by 15 minutes (so initially every 1hour 45 mins). If he woke sooner I would do anything except feed him to try and get him back to sleep (rocking, singing, etc). After 3 days I would increase my expectations by another 15minutes. I kept doing this every 3 days. I was always a softy and if I thought he really was hungry I would feed him but it did work in the end until he was consistently sleeping 12 hours.

becca3210 Sun 21-Feb-21 18:07:25

Thanks for the advice

Forevercurious Thu 25-Feb-21 08:38:08

Thanks for the advice everyone, we’ve had a very trying and tired week. DS is still waking each night but is also teething which is making things harder at the moment. Sometimes he settles within minutes of being patted and shushed, other times it’s hours! 😴

We’ve had one good night where he slept until 6am which gave me hope but that’s only happened the once. Baby steps I guess!

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