Not enjoying breastfeeding

[110APiccadilly]

DD is 8 weeks old, was born at 38 weeks but very small (under 5lb). Despite having a C-section, breastfeeding has gone well in terms of latching, milk coming in, etc, and she's gaining weight excellently, moving up the percentiles in her red book and so on. She's EBF on demand. (And there is a lot of demand - she's a hungry little thing - presumably because she's making up for not growing as much before birth.)

I know I'm lucky that she feeds well and is gaining, so I feel this is really ungrateful, but I dislike the sensation of her feeding!! I certainly don't feel like it's a magical bonding experience. I want to carry on bf because it's good for her, and it feels silly to stop it when practically it is working well. I'd like to continue at least until we introduce solids at 6 months, and preferably until she's 1, but I wondered whether anyone else had had this issue and had any tips. I don't think it's the latch because it's not painful, I just don't like it.

[Missmonkeypenny]

It gets better as they get bigger in my experience, especially when they start feeding less and feed more efficiently (quicker)! DS has just turned one and I don't even notice when he feeds now.

[Sheleg]

Push through. It's honestly worth it! The sensation of feeding my DD made my skin crawl for the first few weeks but I just ploughed on. Going strong at 4 months now, and planning to carry on until at least 6 months.

For me it's the ease and convenience that makes me continue. To be able to whip out a boob anywhere and at any time is an adequate trade off for feeling a bit ick at first.

[110APiccadilly]

Thank you to both of you. It's a relief to know I'm not alone! So much about breastfeeding seems to imply that the only way it can be hard is if you have physical problems with production or latch or whatever.

And yes, I regularly tell myself to imagine how very inconvenient needing to make up bottles in the middle of the night, carry them around with me, etc, would be. It does help. The idea that it may well improve helps as well. Even just her needing it less often as her stomach grows will be helpful.

[Twizbe]

It does get better. I found 4-5 months was the golden time of breastfeeding. Things have calmed down in terms of number of feeds and regularity, you feel more confident doing it and you're seeing the benefits of no bottles. Being able to grab baby and some nappies and be out for the day is really great.

5 months is a bit of a wall though. The physicality of it can get to you a bit then.

6 months and the start of weaning leads to another golden time. As they have more solids, they have less feeds and you get more freedom. Again you see the benefit of not having to faff around with bottles.

[liquoricecravings]

Hi op, I'm ebf my four month old dd. Like you, I found breastfeeding easy to establish and my dd took to it well. I was keen to express so that my DH could feed her sometimes (I was hoping the bedtime feed) but she doesn't like bottles which is a shame. Would you consider trying to express? I like bf because (aside from the health benefits for us both) it is so convenient. The thought of having to wash up and make up bottles seems to be extra faff that I'm pleased I don't have to do. When we were trying just one or two bottles to see if she'd take one it made me realise how much quicker bf is. I like that my hands are free when feeding too (dd is feeding as I write this) as I use the time to text or call friends, or read which I couldn't do if I was holding a bottle (perhaps this kind of thing will distract you from the feeling you're not enjoying?). I am feeding on demand but I've found that as both dd and I have grown in confidence with bf that it's become just a normal part of our time together. She also uses it for comfort or reassurance which helps her to feel calm. All babies cry of course, but I've found that she doesn't cry very often as I can comfort her easily and I do think this is an advantage to bf. I've also enjoyed bf more in the recent weeks as my supply has settled and I'm used to the sensation.

[Terracottasaur]

I don’t love it either. I find the sensation odd and uncomfortable and I hate that only I can feed him, so I can never fully relax or have a rest in case he needs fed. The cluster feeding exhausts me beyond belief and I feel like I exist to do nothing but be milked some days.

I’m going to keep at it because I know it’s the right thing for him but I definitely do not love or cherish the experience.

[110APiccadilly]

Thanks all. Glad to know it's not just me and it might well get better! That's what I need to get me through. I'm not sure how I'd even find time to pump but I have got a Haakaa which I've just started using on one breast while DD is on the other. I don't get tons that way, but it's not really taking any time either and hopefully I'll be able to build up a stock at least for emergencies. If I find I'm producing enough I might ask DH to do a regular feed but we'll see.