Relactation

Have posted before about struggling so much with bf. Severe jaundice, hospital admissions, very painful latch, mastitis etc. Ds now 20 weeks.
Just feel shit that (he’s 2nd and last baby) I couldn’t do it. I wanted to go to bf cafes prior to covid. Even got help from amazing nct counsellor. No obvious tongue tie.
I’m grateful that ff is an option of course, but I feel sad. It seems like others can do it if they persist - Sister’s baby same age and apparently she finds it easy! - she’s not gloating. I did ask). I feel like I’m missing out and my irrational brain is telling me I’m not the best mother right now. I know this sounds stupid.
Has anyone else felt like this over such a trivial thing? My dh thinks I’m mad and doesn’t want to discuss feeding anymore. I must have bleeted on and on about it 😬
Did anyone feel like this and relactate?
Feel free to be honest and tell me I’m insane.