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Only one breastfeeding past one..

(26 Posts)
SundayGirlB Thu 07-May-20 21:55:37

Suddenly feeling like the odd one out. My DS is one next week, I'm the only one out of all my 'mum friends' who isn't trying to stop breastfeeding. I'm lucky enough not to have to return to work until he is 20months so was going to just see how we go. Imagined we would naturally be winding down by then.

I love breastfeeding, so does he, DH supportive but suddenly just feel majorly in the minority! DS still feeds to about 5 times a day as we still feed to sleep. Do I need to feed him less? What are people's experiences bfing beyond a year?

OP’s posts: |
mazza256 Thu 07-May-20 22:02:09

Hi, I am still breast feeding my 17 month old, she has a feed at night and one in the day, sometimes more for comfort, I went back to work part time when she was 14 months and work shifts.
Her Dad can get her to sleep when I am at work without a feed, I don't leak when I am at work my body seems to cope if I miss an evening feed when I am at work.
I will carry on for now and just see how I go, hope this helps

BergamotMouse Thu 07-May-20 22:03:48

Do whatever is right for you, don't change what you want to do just because your mum friends are stopping.

I fed my first until she was about 20 months, she stopped because I was pregnant and the milk dried up. It made weaning easy. I was in a similar situation to you, was probably the last of my NCT friends still breastfeeding, I didn't mention it and avoided feeding around anyone because I was starting to feel it was seen as weird.

I am currently still breastfeeding my 18 month old. He seems to have no plans to wean and it would cause him real upset, I've no idea how to stop and don't really want to breastfeed him past 2 but I generally take the path of least resistance. I've reached the point again where I don't really feed him outside of the house but I'm much more vocal about still breastfeeding. I think the difference this time is several of my new friends breastfed for a long time so it's almost seen as the norm now.

BergamotMouse Thu 07-May-20 22:06:03

I also wouldn't worry about the future, if you are still breastfeeding when you return to work, your son will be absolutely fine. I returned to work when my son was 10 months, he never took a bottle but was fine being away from me for the day.

SundayGirlB Thu 07-May-20 22:07:23

@BergamotMouse haha path of least resistance, that's me! Yeah, it seems expected I'll stop so it will be interesting to see the if there is a reaction to continuing.

@mazza256 thanks - helpful to know how it works for others day to day.

OP’s posts: |
BertieBotts Thu 07-May-20 22:08:23

Fed DS1 until he self weaned, he was four. That was a bit of a surprise tbh but it was fine. DS2 is 20 months and still going! No sign he is ready to stop soon and I'm definitely not.

Do you have a branch of La Leche League near you? I found it good to go there because I defo wasn't the only one and it made me feel less of a weirdo!

longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter Thu 07-May-20 22:09:17

Fed my son to 19 months, feeds reduced when he was having solids and he was only having a bit in Morning and before bed. I stopped when I became pregnant thinking it would take a while to wean him off but effectively took one night and I wished I'd continued till the end of my pregnancy..

BertieBotts Thu 07-May-20 22:09:48

The way I saw it was that stopping would have to be something I imposed and I wanted there to be a reason to do something like that. I never had any compelling reason so I didn't impose it. I knew he wouldn't still be feeding going off to secondary school so I didn't worry about it.

MsRosewater Thu 07-May-20 22:10:30

Still breastfeeding a 2.5 - hadn't planned to stick to it for this long but neither Dd nor I ate ready to quit- there are some great FB groups supporting BF older babies and natural term weaning within frequent evidence/research citations as to the Brno...

MondeoFan Thu 07-May-20 22:11:48

I really enjoyed my breastfeeding journey.
Fed 1st DD until the age of 2y and 2m
Told her it was "broken" in the end to which she fully accepted.
Fed 2nd DD until she was 3y 6m in the end I had to put a plaster over nipple as she didn't want to accept she couldn't have it anymore.
I think from the age of 2 they were only having it to help them fall asleep, they weren't asking for it in the morning anymore.
I was from a family of non breast feeders and any friends with babies have all bottle fed.
I just did what I wanted to do and didn't look back.

MsRosewater Thu 07-May-20 22:12:08

Hmmm... as to the benefits that is...

Moooms Thu 07-May-20 22:15:26

I'm feeling like this too. My DD is 13 months and I'm the only one still feeding.
I went back to work three weeks ago, one 12 hour shift a week.. she is fine with hubby, doesn't take a bottle, but eats/drinks water much more on that day.
That's good advice about the LLL, I'll have a look, as it would be good to meet like minded mum's. We won't be stopping any time soon grin

peaseeds Thu 07-May-20 22:15:47

I'm breastfeeding my 23 month old. I didn't plan to breastfeed for this long, but I thought I might stop soon then lockdown happened, and DD seemed to need it more for reassurance so I've continued.

I've never been influenced by what my mum friends do - not all of them know that I'm still breastfeeding, and I have no idea whether most of them are. I don't discuss it much, and almost never breastfeed outside the home. Not because I'm embarrassed to, but DD just wants to feed in the morning and bedtime, so there's no need. You need to do what's right for you and your family, not what everyone else is doing.

onedream Thu 07-May-20 22:16:50

I'm bf my 13 months old but the feeds are now reduced to only one feed a day early in the morning around 4am..he slowly dropped all other feeds naturally himself when he wasn't interested when I offered..
I would say just carry on doing what you doing..as long as you both happy to carry on it doesn't matter what others do..

Incrediblytired Thu 07-May-20 22:20:03

Oh it’s fine, carry on. Others might be trying to stop but this is often external pressures such as return to work. Also stopping when the babe isn’t ready is another battle! Just do what feels right and keeps the mummy bubba dyad happy

GrumpyHoonMain Thu 07-May-20 22:20:59

I am in the opposite scenario - I want to breastfeed for as long as possible but not sure how I’ll be able to do it as I go back full time when he’s 1.

veewee Thu 07-May-20 22:23:16

I fed my ds to 15 months, when I felt bullied to stop, fed dd1 to 3yrs 4months, when she stopped as I was pregnant & she just decided she didn't want it anymore (maybe it tasted different?) & I've literally just fed dd2 to sleep & she is 3 in a few weeks & still going strong.

I don't know anyone else who has fed for as long as we have, by it works for us! I think most people have assumed we've stopped feeding by now as it's not the social norm, but I don't care if anyone else knows or not, it makes dd happy, it settles & soothes her & I know it's only a matter of time before she stops, so we're enjoying it while it lasts. 😊

FourPlasticRings Thu 07-May-20 22:23:37

I'm still breastfeeding mine at 22 months old. I recommend a Facebook group- 'Breastfeeding older babies and beyond'. Your baby will be one of the youngest nurslings on there.

BertieBotts Fri 08-May-20 11:11:03

Grumpy you can just keep feeding in the evenings and at weekends, at one your supply will be absolutely fine with that and just adjust. Be aware a lot of children reverse cycle and feed more at night temporarily when you first start this kind of routine.

FourPlasticRings Fri 08-May-20 11:18:14

I agree with @BertieBotts- it'll be absolutely fine. Mine refused any other milk, so she literally went without for about 10 hours every weekday when I was out of the house. She was absolutely fine.

Aroundtheworldin80moves Fri 08-May-20 11:19:23

DD 1 fed until 17 months- I was 5 months pregnant then, and she went off it. DD2 fed until 2.5 years. But... Hardly anyone knew. HVs knew. Grandparents knew. It came up in conversation a few times with close friends, but it never got mentioned at baby groups or with 'baby' friends.

CurlyEndive Fri 08-May-20 11:21:49

This is such a personal decision OP, but I must say that I would consider starting to reduce breastfeeding now. IME it's easier to wean a 12 month baby off the breast than a 20 month old - by then you're starting to get into toddler tantrum territory! As you can see from this thread, it may be unrealistic to assume you'll be winding down naturally before 20 months. And it could add another level of stress to your return to work if your DS is still feeding a lot.

Obviously it's your decision, but that would be my advice.

userabcname Fri 08-May-20 11:22:23

I fed ds1 til he was 18mo. Went back to work when he was 1 and it was fine - just bf around those times. The WHO recommend breastfeeding til 2yo and I believe there are numerous health benefits for breastfeeding beyond 12 months for both baby and you. Keep going!

HelloItsmeAgain1 Fri 08-May-20 11:22:29

You keeping on going might actually normalise it for others. Good on you!

derekmorgan Fri 08-May-20 11:28:53

I'm still feeding my 20m old ds. I also went back to work when he was 12m old, and as my supply dwindled when I went back when my older 2 were babies, I thought that would happen this time too. It hasn't though, and he's perfectly fine without me when I'm at work, which at the moment is a lot! Not had any problems with engorged boobs either. A lot of my colleagues fed their babies until they were 2-3ish, so I don't feel like the odd one for still feeding! Just do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to stop yet, don't. I planned on 1 year max, now I'm saying 2, but i will play it by ear.

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