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Extended breastfeeder needs support for coping with breast obsessed dd.

(8 Posts)
CantSleepWontSleep Sun 16-Sep-07 21:42:32

Am I allowed to call myself that now we've got to 19 months?

Anyway, at between 11 and 12 months dd and I reduced her feeds from up to 9 a day down to 2, first thing and last thing. A few months ago we went through a phase where she wanted to feed a lot, but she got 6 new teeth, including 4 molars, so I figured it was a comfort thing.

Now we've spent the last 4 weeks with her being totally breast obsessed. She screams for 'bibboo' all day long, even on holiday where she also had my parents and the beach to distract her. I can't see signs of any more teeth (she has 4 molars and 4 canines still to come through), but it's definitely not a hunger thing for her, so either comfort of some sort, or she just really likes it!

Unfortunately it's now really wearing me down, and spoiling our time together.

Does anyone have any advice on coping/dealing with this, and getting her back on track to feed just twice a day again (I'd actually cut her morning feed out for a week just before this phase started)? Just saying no and trying to distract isn't working, and she just screams and screams and tantrums until I give in.

beansprout Sun 16-Sep-07 21:45:44

Perhaps treat the tantrum as a tantrum and do what you need to do with that. If you give in, she will just learn that she will get what she wants if she carries on long enough.

Ds is nearly 2.11 and I am 20w pregnant with incredibly tender nipples. When I don't want to feed him, I make it clear and then go and do something else. If I think he is hungry I offer him food, and a cuddle if I think he is tired/wants comforting.

It's hard, but standing your ground is the only thing I can suggest really! Good luck though, it's a tricky one.

Jackstini Sun 16-Sep-07 21:53:05

How long is she feeding for CSWS? am still feeding dd (18 mo) first & last thing am but not for very long - 5-10 mins am and 10-20 mins before bed. However sometimes she wants it a lot more than usual. About 3 weeks ago she went for 30-40 mins 3 times in 1 day - then 2 weeks later 2 molars came through!
What happens when you say no and walk away/leave her?

Sallyallyally Sun 16-Sep-07 21:55:36

Hello...DD wouldn't stop B/F either. Eventually I got thoroughly fed up and just said to her that we would have lots of cuddles but no more 'beebles'!! We had a rough few days/weeks when she got very upset, but I gave her lots of hugs and attention and it got better. When you are ready just fasten your seatbelt and sit tight!. (she is 7 now and I'm sure would take her baby brothers place if asked...however she is very happy and secure so no lasting psychological damage!!!!). Slept better as well once B/feeding stopped. Good luck

fishie Sun 16-Sep-07 21:57:01

i stopped feeding outside the house at about 12m and then restricted it to certain times or places (sofa or bed). going out does help, but there is no reason why you can't just say no, no milk now, or distract.

i do find that if ds really really wants milk and persists then it is because he's tired or feeling ill.

CantSleepWontSleep Sun 16-Sep-07 22:01:09

Depends when she last fed Jackstini. If a long while before, then she might suck properly for 5 or 10 mins, but then she'll want to bob on and off for the next hour or more. She'll drink one, say 'all done', then say 'more' and point to the other, which does start off cute grin, but gets a bit dull when she does it for the 50th time!

If I walk away and leave her (something that she rarely allows regardless of bf) then she screams, cries (with actual tears and a really distraught face), and follows me clawing at my legs and begging for 'bibboo'.

She doesn't really tantrum about much else beansprout, so no standard strategy for that. We ignored her tantrums very early on, and she seemed to get the message that they were pointless, but it hasn't sunk in when we've tried the same thing for bf.

I worry that if I refuse and then some teeth do come through that I will feel guilty that she was in pain and I didn't help her when I could have.

CantSleepWontSleep Sun 16-Sep-07 22:06:58

Sallyallyally - interesting comment that she slept better once you'd finished bf. Were you still feeding in the night? We don't do that thankfully (except whilst on holiday the last couple of weeks, where her entire nights were atrocious), but would be lovely to think that she might suddenly sleep a couple of extra hours at night wink.

Jackstini Mon 17-Sep-07 09:26:18

CSWS - dd does the 'More' thing. I have (finally - took 2 weeks) got her to understand now she can only swap once then it's finished.
May be a rough few days but if you can get her to understand it helps. Also remind her that after she has had enough to drink, she can still cuddle. (She may think if she stops drinking she has to stop cuddling and that's why she carries on)
Incidentally dd sleeps about 11 hours a night - last bf finshes about 8 and she goes til about 7.
Good luck - keep letting us know how it's going

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