Time to give up?

[Sleepyquest]

My 4.5 month DD seems to have weaned herself off breast milk. She used to have all her feeds bar 1 as breastfed. Now, she will suckle a bit in the morning but gets distracted sooo easily so she stops and has a bottle 30 mins later. I also express once a day but only get about 50ml out of each boob if I'm lucky making 100ml in total which is half a feed for her.

I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to continue due to Cv but it just isn't working. Should I give up? Or is the limited amount she's getting each day still beneficial?
Thanks

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Do you want to stop OP?

[APurpleSquirrel]

I'm pretty sure around that age most babies get easily distracted. Could you try offering another breastfeed later rather than a bottle?
Remember many women, myself included, couldn't pump much compared to what the baby can get out.

[Sleepyquest]

I don't really want to stop but I feel like she gets frustrated with me and then I feel like I'm doing it for me and not for her. Gosh it's to hard to know what's best!

[APurpleSquirrel]

They all go through that - my two used to punch my breast because, I guess, the milk wasn't coming fast enough.

[Sleepyquest]

I'll try and carry on a bit but won't pressurise myself. Thanks for your support

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If you do want to carry on, it might be worth calling a BFing Helpline for some support.

Totally agree with them getting frustrated at this age. It might be worth trying some breast compressions.

Also agree with offering the breast again later when she's showing that she's hungry.

How much you can express is no indication of his much you are producing either. I could barely express a drop with my first but looking back at his photos, he was a right chunk.

[Sunshiness]

Totally normal that they get distracted at that age. She is not weaning herself - from everything I know babies never voluntarily wean themselves before 18 months at least.

Also what you express is not a reflection of how much your DD drinks from the breast - the baby is much more effective in getting milk out of the breast than the breast pump. I remember worrying about the exact same thing and when I learned this fact it was so reassuring!

I hate the whole "the mum is only doing it for herself" myth - you know there is quite a lot of anti BF propaganda out there, in really subtle and sneaky ways (take a look at The Politics of Breastfeeding!) and I think this one is the worst because no mum wants to be selfish at the expense of her child, so young mums are very vulnerable to this kind of criticism (I know I was). My DD is now 2.5 yo and let me tell you from a position of having gained experience and the gift of hindsight - this myth is a complete lie - you CANNOT make a baby feed that doesn't want to.

[amandalives]

My DD is a similar age and it's going well so I haven't thought about weaning yet but out of interest I did look up how much breast milk was beneficial. I can't remember the exact amount but I was actually surprised at how little it was! If you want to continue I'd recommend sitting in a quiet place to feed, if she still gets distracted just try again the next time she's fussing.

[Merename]

My DD2 was terribly distracted feeder, probably from a similar age to 8/9 months she would not feed if anyone was in the room, if anything was happening. I had oversupply and got a lot of blocked ducts etc so really needed her to feed regularly at that stage, so I did just take us off quietly, and eventually it passed.

From my understanding, it’s very rare for a child less than a year to self-wean.

What you express doesn’t necessarily tell you what baby gets at a feed, babies are generally much more effective at milk removal than pumps.

If you want to keep going, I’m wondering why the bottle 30m after a feed? If you want to stop, no probs, up to you, but using bottles in this way could be diminishing supply (and what baby expects) over time.

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

If you want to continue, is there any BF support groups around you could reach by phone or email knowing that face to face are not really happening probably? Maybe a HV can put you in touch? I know NCT has BF advisors, and usually hospitals have some who pop in post natal wards, maybe you can be put in touch with someone who can give appropriate advice?