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Baby due next month, I KNOW I will be a 'shy' breastfeeder' any tips on...

(56 Posts)
Hopeitwontbebig Wed 22-Aug-07 13:38:43

clothes or ways to 'cover up' or do it discreetly? I don't want to

a) end up spending most of my time in my bedroom and

b) even worse, give up before I've even started.

It's a personal thing with me, I REALLY won't feel comfortable doing it in front of in-laws etc. Don't mind friends or DH so much, but family eugh.


I posted on hear months ago about my 'issues' re breastfeeding. SO SO SO SO want to make a success of it this time.

Hopeitwontbebig Wed 22-Aug-07 13:39:26

does anyone have any links bookmarked for good tops etc.

JARM Wed 22-Aug-07 13:41:21

im feeling the same about this one due in november.

with DD1 i hid in my bedroom for 4 days before giving up and giving bottles

this time ive decided - no visitors for more than an hour and i will lie around in PJ's all day if necessary until established.

family members will come second to me and baby

ChipButty Wed 22-Aug-07 13:41:35

I hope things go well for you. My sister swore by a large scarf/pashmina to cover her modesty. Though shy myself, I found that I could breastfeed in front of anyone who was about as you can pull your shirt around you a bit. Good luck! CB XX

NotADragonOfSoup Wed 22-Aug-07 13:41:56

A pashmina
A pouch type sling like a Kimmer or Coorie
Vest top underneath another top - "top" top goes up, vest pulls down from the neck.

ejt1764 Wed 22-Aug-07 13:42:57

Just a couple of ideas ...

When you start at first, ask members of your family (like MIL / FIL) to leave the room while you get latched on ... then you can drape yourself in a shawl / muslin so that nothing is exposed.

When you're out, wear a cardigan / jacket over a t-shirt, and if you're bf in a public place (ie a café), sit with your back to the room. Also make sure you have your shawl with you, so that you can drape it once you're started.

Get yourself to a bf support group (one of my friends called hers her booby buddies, and then you can meet others bf too - and you'll feel more secure in greater numbers.

Good luck!

NotADragonOfSoup Wed 22-Aug-07 13:43:07

It is really only the latching on that involves any exposure. After that you can arrange yourself and your clothing as appropriate.

CatIsSleepy Wed 22-Aug-07 13:47:08

Hi Hope-
am prob not the best person to help as was quite shy too,and had a bit of a mare to begin with getting dd latched on. I think the initial establishing bit is probably best done in private anyway as it can be quite stressful!
however even when it was established I always hid from my in-laws! (not too much of a problem though as I didn't see them that often anyway...)
But in general I found any loose stretchy tops to be good.
Once the baby's latched on there's not much to see, but if you're worried you can always drape a muslin cloth loosely over your shoulder+ baby's head for added privacy.

Good luck!
My aim is to be less shy next time...

Kif Wed 22-Aug-07 13:47:17

I found it quite easy to walk with a baby latched onto me. You could 'sort yourself out' somewhere private, then waft in calm and collected draped with lovely shawls (emiting tell tale slurping sounds )

CatIsSleepy Wed 22-Aug-07 13:47:44

ooh lots of x-posts re draping thing...

skirmish Wed 22-Aug-07 13:47:45

i wore a stretchy vest/cami top ( H & M) in a bigger size, so i could hitch my top up, and then pull the cami down. That way hardly anything gets seen and tummy/boobs stay well covered!

sar123 Wed 22-Aug-07 13:48:57

hi there - H&M have some cheap and not too bad looking breastfeeding lycra tshirts. My personal faves look like a double layer (ie like a v neck t-shirt with vest underneath) so you can just unhook your maternity bra and open up the sides of the t-shirt (the sides of the vneck), if that makes sense! In other words you don't have to expose anything. I lived in them for the first 3 or 4 months, had a mixture of colours and sleeve lengths. But you need to go to an H&M with a maternity dept.

Hopeitwontbebig Wed 22-Aug-07 13:50:29

wow, thanks for the quick replies already, I like the idea of taking myself off and getting the latching sorted and then walking back in the room composed and covered!

I just wish I didn't have these issues in the first place. Think it stems from my own Mother's attitude towards BF, it just wasn't the done thing in her eyes

ib Wed 22-Aug-07 13:52:30

Definitely a sling. You can poke your head into it to fiddle around with the latch if necessary and no one can see anything.

Once you get the hang of it you can also feed walking around.

thehairybabysmum Wed 22-Aug-07 14:08:48

If you are at home then cushions are your friends...they hide lots as well as being useful for positioning. I used to have one on my lap and one to the side of me by the sofa arm that shielded the view whist fiddling with the latch.

When out and about i did used to use a baby change room or have even used a nice ladies loo in the early days. Lots of people here say you shouldnt have to feed int eh loos but this was because i wanted to hide rather than felt i had to IYSWIM.

Also second the poster who says about wearing larger sized vest tops under clothes as also keeps your tummy hidden and you feel less exposed. Draped muslins also good.

I used to express every day too and give ds EBM when he was cluster feeding inthe evening and my supply was lower so i would also take out a bottle of EBM in the early days if it suited.

mamadoc Wed 22-Aug-07 14:21:06

I felt shy at first and used to go to my bedroom but i can promise you it wears off. After a while it seems so natural that you just forget to be embarrassed.
To start with I always wore BF tops (got mine from JoJoMamanBebe) but also recommend hanging out with other BF mums for strength in numbers.
Before you know it you start to feel quite differently and now I reckon if anyone is embarrassed they can leave the room rather than me and I actually feel quite proud feeding out and about

Highlander Wed 22-Aug-07 15:52:14

With DS1 I thought BFing was something that you sort of had to feel shy about. I thought that you had to drape a msulin around you and shield your norks from the world. I felt embarassed about doing that, in fact I think I used to draw attention to myself with all my faffing about. It was only when I got on a long haul flight and space was a bit limited that I just had to get on with it. And hey....... no-one batted an eyelid.

With DS2 I just latched him on anytime, anywhere and focused more on gabbing to my friends.

The only advice I would give is to say to your pals that you're about to BF, that you're feeling a bit self-concious and could they give you a bit of moral support? Maybe all that would mean is them sitting right next to you and picking up dropped gear, draping a muslin if that's what you want etc.


FioFio Wed 22-Aug-07 15:55:26

Message withdrawn

Highlander Wed 22-Aug-07 15:58:49

My MIL was completely sceptical as regards everything to do with BF. But she read in her Hello magazine that Kate Winslett was BFing so she phoned me...

'That BF thing you are doing must be all right because Kate Winslett is BFing and her baby looks all right'

She was very supportive after that Still makes me laugh 3 years later

amidaiwish Wed 22-Aug-07 16:13:54

i felt the same - when the baby gets bigger it does get easier as they cover you more iykwim

i found the vests on here good as they unclip from the top so no need to hoist up your top
plus the poncho-wraps are good for completely keeping you covered - they are nice and light so you can feed the baby underneath


fruitbowl Wed 22-Aug-07 16:15:14

Def agree with seeing if there's a local BF support group for feeding in comfort when starting off. Also if you can get it together to feed one time in front of a mirror it will show you just how little people can actually see. I know this made a big difference to a shy BFer I know. Loads of luck xx

FioFio Wed 22-Aug-07 16:16:08

Message withdrawn

zebedee1 Wed 22-Aug-07 17:23:33

Hi there, you sound just like me 4 months ago, I was more worried about bf infront of people than bloody childbirth! My tips would be
get a "clippy" bf vest from mothercare and wear a nice cardi over it, because the top comes down noone can see anything
Practice at home in front of the mirror
Tie a muslin to your bra strap when feeding, my ds tends to move about and the muslin kept falling off
Find out which shops have feeding facilities before you go so you are confident you know where to go when LO needs a feed.
I have been so surprised that noone bats an eyelid at me bf in public which is great!
Good luck!!

NoviceKnitter Wed 22-Aug-07 19:17:49

People who use slings for discreet bfing - how does it work? I've got a coorie and have fed DD with her sitting up but it's not discreet that way - just means i can wonder round the house while she eats!

Trinaj Wed 22-Aug-07 19:42:44

DS2 is 8 days now and has been a struggle to establish bf.
I was terrified of feeding infront of anyone - even other dc!
My dd has been very nosey but now is getting used to it.
I've found that by getting people to ask before they come over I can time visits around feeding.
I had one nightmare day with unexpected visitors and ended up in my bedroom feeding, but it wasn't so bad as dh was there to entertain them.
I've had trouble with latching on and although once latched I've used a muslin to cover up, it's been difficult to feed around others - definately getting easier though. And I think the answer is to stay in control and remember people are visiting you. Most people are fine if you ask then to pop out the room for a couple of minutes.
Good luck .

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