Advice to help my lovely friend and her 12 day old pls - Hunker, anyone????(26 Posts)
My lovely friend has a 12 day old.
Mum had to have a c-section as has high blood pressure and had a bleed that morning so they gave her a c-section then and there.
Baby weighed 3.2 at birth and after a few days in hospital she was weighed before they left and she was 3.
Midwife appt today and baby still weighs 3 so she hasn't put on anymore weight.
Midwife told my friend she'll have to give her baby formula.
She's gutted but not acting on this advice just yet.
My cousin went out and got her an electric 50quid breast pump from John Lewis today but I explained that the pump won't be getting as much out as the baby will.
I might be wrong but as baby was actually only due on Friday just gone, but is 12 days old perhaps her milk isn't properly in yet and baby isn't losing weight just not putting loads on just yet.
Help me to help her please.
Oh and did I once read that there are certain foods that help build your milk supply? Is that right and if so what?
TIA guys, TC x
SHe doesn't have to give formula! If there's not enough milk she should feed more often. She hasn't lost as much as 10%, and not losing more is good. How are nappies etc? Is baby well in itself?
Agree with TS, if the baby seems well and having wet nappies then your friend should put baby to the breast as poss to build up supply. Giving formula so early on will undermine breeastfeeding.
sorry, meant to say "baby to the breast as often as poss"
Nappies - should be wet and also several yellow poos a day.
TC - my milk took FOREVER to get going - things people suggested were fennel tea, and domperidone which I think the mw could prescribe if that were really necessary. My mw also got me expressing so I could give EBM after each feed, but it is a real hassle doing that, so if she can manage without I would suggest that first.
Ignore anyone who says 'you have to give formula'. SHe doesn't.
The more people on here saying 'don't give her formula' the better she'll feel about ignoring the midwife and the more supported and stronger she'll feel.
She's breastfeeding all the time, well as much as baby demands it. I was there for 3 hours on Sun and only got 1 quick hold and there was a nappy change but other than that she was on her mum's boob.
TC - is the baby actively feeding when she's latched on? Ds1 would be latched on constantly, but was dozing and just nibbling, which doesn't stimulate the milk flow - she needs to be actively 'chomping', and you should be able to hear a 'suck-swallow' sound. Is the baby waking in the night for feeds?
Has she tried lots of skin-skin, feeding in the bath, feeding in bed?
DS3 took 2 weeks to get back to his birth weight (BF fully at the time) - MW wasn't at all concerned and (quite rightly) didn't even suggest giving him formula...
There is a bit of dozing off on breast and comfort stuff going on and I asked her yesterday if she was swallowing and taking the milk down and she said yes. I did also talk to her about feeding her in bath but will mention again. Thanks for this. The more advice and support for her the better she's going to feel.
She was so upset she didn't have the birth she wanted that she really is determined for b.feeding to not go wrong. so hard as a 1st time mum and the midwife goes and tells you to give formula
If it would give her confidence, she could try expressing some and giving it by cup or bottle - I did feel comforted when I could actually SEE the milk going in, and it really perked my babies up to give them the energy to feed.
If it helps, ds1 was a nightmare feeder, and my lack of confidence led to him being mixed fed from 1 week. Dd was a dream, and then ds2 lost 12% of his birthweight, but because I had more confidence from dd, I persevered, he was exclusively b/fed to 6 months, and I've JUST stopped feeding him (he's 15.5 months). And the only difference was having confidence in the feeding, and very good advice on here from tiktok and hunker.
If she's getting bad advice from the mw, could she contact the NCT to speak to a b/feeding counsellor - the number is 0870 444 8708
At my local Breastfeeding group today someone mentioned that her dd hadnt gained weight in a few weeks and someone suggested she increased her carbohydrate intake - she did and her dd gaiend 1lb the very same week!
The night feeds are crucial as well - she shouldn't let the baby go more than 4 hours or so, even if she has to wake him up.
Oh and apparently she feeds at 12ish for about half an hour or so, then feeds at about 4am and then again at 6am. She seems to be feeding quite well, not too much breaking but in the hot days there is a bit of dozing off.
There's lots of good info from tiktok and hunker here which is the thread from when I was having problems with ds2, mostly lack of milk, failure to gain weight.
You're all so fab
Keep the support and tips coming and I'm texting her and my cousin and am going to email them your support tomorrow,
Mumsnet at it's best when it comes to this kind of invaluable support. Really, THANK YOU
If she can feed the baby lying down I found this helped lots with DS1, who was not a great feeder in his first 2 weeks.
After I mastered feeding him lying down he seemed to feed much better, its perhaps easier for babies as they are more relaxed lying than being held and maybe easier for them to latch on. I also found it easier to relax while feeding him which makes feeding easier all round.
Plus you can feed at night without getting up and doze off afterwards with baby next to you - a revelation in our household!
It is expected for a baby to lose its birth weight, and not regain it until about day 14 after birth.
Seems like her baby is doing okay.
Lots of skin to skin contact, and feeding in the bath if she is able to? (Dont know about precautions with c/sect scar).
Babymoon might be an idea too.
Feeding lying down will also be more comfortable for her post a CS.
And yes skin to skin good way to get feeding going (and lovely too).
The midwife is a bit useless, from what you say, thomcat....if the baby is well, then it is hardly panic stations, and remaining at a stable weight is within normal limits after this relatively small weight loss....you don't say if the baby is pooing, but if she is, several soft yellow poos a day, then that would be a good sign
You don't say much about how often the baby is feeding and the feeding effectiveness - these might both need attention, and support, and encouragement, rather than orders to use formula
Hi TikTok and everyone else.
I'm not entirely sure how often the baby is feedign but from what I do know and my friend says it would seem quite often and again I don't know about the poo's but will email her and ask.
Thanks for everyone's advice and support thus far and I will be back
i had crash section with ds4 and as he was my 4th i know my milk did not come in as normal, it was a few weeks before production was up to scratch. i was also told to give formula by mw as he had not regained birth weight quickly enough, it actually took over 3 weeks but thankfully i had a fab hv who told me to ignore mw and mn helped a lot! i was told to look at the baby, if he seems ok he probably is, he did and he was and is still bf at almost 6 months. i think it was the section that was the problem as i have never had difficulties bf before. ds wasnt pooing much btw, good mw (i saw several) said aslong as he didnt go more than a week they werent worried. just watch out for the nappy when it does arrive! be careful with putting faith in pump, i have never been able to express but i can feed babies so it doesnt mean anything if she cant get any out. good luck to her, sorry that was so garbled am juggling ds while other kids are tearing round the house
gringotts - great you got over your bad start but it is a real myth that no poo is ok in a newborn.....it really is a sign that things need to be looked at, and the feeding improved. In your case, it would be a symptom of the way feeding was not going well.
Infrequent poo normal beyond the newborn stage only.
i was told it was fine by mw, am rather shocked they were wrong but did nothing. apologies for giving out rotten info, just wanted to add a positive that we came through it all fine
also i assumed it was cos there was no meconium left in him, he got rid of it all while i was in labour. could that make things different? suppose there is not much point stressing about it now
mws often get this wrong, ggg....the thing is it's not that the lack of poo is worrying in itself, it's that it is a sign that feeding needs attending to, to make it more effective. If your baby looked ok and seemed well, and the feeding was being worked on, then there was no need to intervene more.
So they may have been right - just wanted to use the opp. to let people know that lack of poo in a newborn may be telling them something
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