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Breastfeeding dilema

(15 Posts)
hotcrumpets Sat 04-Aug-07 17:29:02

What would you do if you were invited to a party for one of your friends LO's birthdays, but were told that

'I know your going to have your baby by then so would it be ok if you went upstairs to bf because my mum and dad would be really uncomfortable and wouldn't like you bfing in front of them'

would you

a) think fair enough its your house and just go upstairs to bf baring in mind that the baby will only be at the most a couple of weeks old and feeding tons

b) say fark off, i'll feed where I like

c) say well I don't think I will be able to go or make an excuse not to go and let DP take DD on his own

I did feed DD anywhere and everywhere and am pretty passionate about my right to do so, but I also respect the fact that this is somebody elses home, so what do you think, i'm going with C at the moment but feel like doing B

compo Sat 04-Aug-07 17:32:26

c) ecause it wouldn't be much fun for you feeding on your own in a separate room.

hana Sat 04-Aug-07 17:34:11

i'd do c as well

FrannyandZooey Sat 04-Aug-07 17:35:16

c) and explain that it's because you will feeding loads and that you don't want to leave dd unattended at the party< I would also let her know you are unimpressed.

it's totally crap of your friend to ask you this IMO. If her parents are that bothered about it they could leave the room. It's your friend's house - if she supports your feeding choice she should not let her other guests make you feel ashamed of it.

SugaryBits Sat 04-Aug-07 17:36:04

C but don't make an excuse, tell friend that you would feel uncomfortable about being made an outcast in order to feed your child!

ProfYaffle Sat 04-Aug-07 17:36:14

I'd be pretty offended tbh and would say something along the lines of 'as the baby's so young it will be feeding a lot so it will be really inconvenient for me to go to another room all the time, therefore I think it would be easier all round if I just don't come'. I'd be reluctant for dh and dd to go and would only agree to it if it's a party dd really wanted to go to. Would be crossing the host right off my xmas card list as well.

policywonk Sat 04-Aug-07 17:37:42

Yup, C. Why should you hide away in somebody else's spare room when you could be at home with your feet up? I wouldn't make a big deal of it, but I would let my friend know why I wasn't coming, just in a matter-of-fact way.

WigWamBam Sat 04-Aug-07 17:40:37

Although I'd really want to do (b), it's their house, and up to them whether they "allow" such deviant behaviour as breastfeeding to take place there.

But I would't be prepared to make excuses for not going just to save their feelings.

"No, I wouldn't be happy having to go upstairs to feed the baby so we won't be coming to the party. But thank you anyway" would probably just about cover it.

hotcrumpets Sat 04-Aug-07 17:41:12

OK looking like C is the way to go, i think she knew I wouldn't be impressed I could tell by the way she asked.

I have met her parents before and they are just slightly loopy so i'm not surprised by this at all

FrannyandZooey Sat 04-Aug-07 17:43:04

My parents are loopy but I wouldn't let them make a friend of mine feel like a fraek for something perfectly harmless

I think she has the responsibility to tell them to get a grip, really

determination Sat 04-Aug-07 21:44:19


c) say well I don't think I will be able to go or make an excuse not to go and let DP take DD on his own

then say, fark off!

berolina Sat 04-Aug-07 21:46:25

c) - but no excuse, quite simply 'sorry, no, I would not be happy with being shut away upstairs to bf, so I think I won't make it'.

funnypeculiar Sat 04-Aug-07 21:52:52

Agree with c)- but tbh, I think I'd be a bit more forgiving of your friend - from what you said, she knows she's asking the unreasonable - she's just trying to avoid a scene with her parents ... Who ARE unreasonable She proibably thinks it's easier to get a compromise out of you than then.

How about "Look, you know it'll be dull for me if I have to go upstairs every time I feed - I'll just be up their the whole time. So I'm sending dh with dd - it'll just wind me up other wise."

Obviously, that's if you LIKE her - if not fine, just c) and no forgiveness!

mawbroon Sun 05-Aug-07 13:25:55

I would be thinking b, but would probably end up doing c but telling her exactly why and not making up an excuse.

Alternatively, you could bring a claxon to sound, giving 30 seconds warning before each feed to allow her loopy parents time to leave the room. Oh hang on, you'll have one of those. He or she will be going "waaaaa"

rainbow83 Sun 05-Aug-07 13:35:45

hi i'd say i cant be bothered coming because i can't be bothered having to hide myself on demand.

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