Talk

Advanced search

AAAARGH, drives me crazy, reading this sort of dross from women who should know better...

(82 Posts)
DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:44:28

Am reading my mother's Good Housekeeping magazine today.
Can't find a link to the article but it is the letter from the editor, Louise Chunn,at the beginning of the September 2007 issue.
She starts by describing that 90% of women in Uk wear the wrong sized bra etc etc, and then moves onto the complex relationship between women and their breasts.
This thinking is hot on the heels of the law being passed to protect breast feeding mothers in public, ie not being allowed to ask them to stop.
Then goes on to say
'As I've formerly breastfed 3 babies, I might be expected to support the new law. But , on examination , I'm deeply ambivalent.Discreet, low key feeding in a public place has always been tolerated, but in-your-face, milky-breast-baring is not the same thing at all.
I don't care how many women say they think it's fine; we have to take on board that, because breasts are associated with sex, breast feeding does make many men uncomfortable.'

I felt sickened that women continually to think it normal that breasts when breastfeeding infants, should be discreet.
Sometimes it is not, sometimes it is.
It makes me cross to think that when feeding my babies I should feel sensitive to those poor embarassed men.
Don't normally get ranty on mumsnet, but needed to share my irritation,and FGS , you'd think such a rag as Good Housekeeping would be a little more up to date.
I felt like I was reading something written by an old fashioned MIL.
What do people think?

DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:45:17

Well something better than perhaps the dross that Jordan seems to continually produce on the subject in Hello adn OK

Tinker Thu 02-Aug-07 14:46:16

I think the title Good Housekeeping is a clue as to teh type of person it's appealing to to?

BandofMothers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:49:50

It annoys me that men don't feel uncomfortable with nubile pert tits being flaunted by young childless women, or even any kind of flaunting as long as there isn't a babies head in the vicinity.
When did it become alright for boobs to be bared, or almost so, especially in the summer, as long as they weren't being used to feed a baby

DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:49:56

But these are women who should be supporting their daughters and grandchildren accodingly.
Such a middle class readership as well.
Feel really angry, feel more betrayed than if had read such thoughts in the Sun.

bumperlicious Thu 02-Aug-07 14:50:45

You're right! I try to be discreet, but 6 weeks on we are still full boob out and take a couple of goes to latch on. I don't want that to make me housebound.

The men don't have to look! TBH, I'm not sure that the problem is really with the men, perhaps it's the women like this editor who feel uncomfortable for whatever reason. None of my male friends have had a problem, and the only comment I have had from someone I know was my little bro (21) who the first time I bf in front of him turned to see me bf and said "whoa, you could have given me a bit of warning!"

oliveoil Thu 02-Aug-07 14:51:19

well I breastfed and I do think you should feed discreetly tbh

not that I see many "in-your-face, milky-breast-baring" incidents

but I was in one shop and rounded a corner to see a woman on a stool with her stomach and norks and nips hanging out and I thought hmmmmmm, put them away please

I think a man would have been embarrassed too

hunkermunker Thu 02-Aug-07 14:52:02

The point of this law is not to allow women to flash their breasts at disapproving men (and women).

It's to protect women who would otherwise feel uncomfortable about feeding in public, however discreetly, from lunatics who think it's any of their business.

NoBiggy Thu 02-Aug-07 14:52:04

Well, let's put the needs of men first then, shall we?

After all, it must be their turn <rolls eyes>

BandofMothers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:52:29

bumper. You'll get the hang of it. I once fed DD2 at the same table as one of DH's more pervy friends, and he was very disappointed that he hadn't even noticed

DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:52:59

Feel an angry ranty letter coming on.
With you there bumpylicious, you just do it as best you can at the time, the milk is sometimes not completley in your control.
Some peoples' breasts are larger than others, so not covered by babies head, perhaps they should just FF

BandofMothers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:55:02

DR, that would be me then, at ;least when they were smaller it was, and breasts FULL of milk.
Noone ever said anything to me, I must have emitted some kind of "I dare you" vibe. One old biddy gave me a bit of a dirty look once so I stared back at her til she looked away.

DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:55:08

But most people are discreet, I don't think the law states anything about whether you should be discreet or not.
I was more irritated by her being embarassed on those poor men's behalf.(like they are imbeciles not capable of reational thought)

bookthief Thu 02-Aug-07 14:56:40

Well that's the weirdy double-standard though isn't it? It's not the baring of the breast per se that they object to (lots of bare flesh on display these days and nobody blinks and eye). It's the SUCKING. They won't admit it but that's what they don't like imo, the fact that a baby is sucking on a woman's breast which is what men do so it equals sex, therefore wrong.

Something wrong in the head with these people.

BandofMothers Thu 02-Aug-07 14:56:46

I wouldn't have thought any man would mind seeing a boob or a nipple, even if it was attached to a baby. So I think whoever said that it's the women, not the men who are uncomfortable with it was right.

WanderingTrelawney Thu 02-Aug-07 14:58:56

In 15+ years of working alongside many breastfeedering mothers, I have yet to see it done in any other way than discreetly.

Who and where are these "in-your-face, milky-breast-baring" sorts?

And, imo, "Discreet, low key feeding in a public place" has not always been tolerated. Some folk object to breastfeeding in public full stop.

Louise Chump.

DarrellRivers Thu 02-Aug-07 15:00:14

Louise Chunder popped into my head WT when I wrote it.

BandofMothers Thu 02-Aug-07 15:00:51

I'm sure no wman would really want to be flopping her milky boobs around for all to see, but sometimes it happens. My sister fed rugby ball style, and had so much trouble latching her dd on. She was quite often exposing herself a bit unnecessarily, but she couldn't help it. She got better as her dd got older tho.

RubyRioja Thu 02-Aug-07 15:14:56

A couple walked past me yesterday and I overhead him say
'well its actually illegal to breastfeed in public you know. It has just been tolerated for so long, everyone is used to it'
I cannot tell you how much self-restraint it took me not to run after him and beat him about the head!

bumperlicious Thu 02-Aug-07 15:20:54

ruby! God that's just one of those moments where MN would come up with something fabulously cutting to say but you are just so astonished at people's ignorance you barely process it in time!

RubyRioja Thu 02-Aug-07 15:26:31

It made me want to streak or similar. Might have been a little of an ovveraction as I stopped bf a year ago .

As you say astonishing ignorance!

Am I right in thinking there have previously been no laws and that only men can be accused of indecent exposure, ladies are more refined and can be accused of creating a public disturbance?

Presumably that relates to the mummies who put on a thong and nipple tassles, before bf in public? Or would that me Jordan?

iota Thu 02-Aug-07 15:29:33

why not log in to the GH chatroom and tell them what you think?

prettybird Thu 02-Aug-07 15:32:59

I actually liek Good Housekeeping and get it every month But then I am middle class!

I have to say I haven't warmed to this new editor in the same way that I did to Lindsey Nicholson.

I can feel a "disappointed and outraged" letter to the editor coming on!

This will take precedence over the latter that I had been considering complaining about comptetionsand offers that are over before the month that the issue even realtes to. This is supposed to be aimed at busy mums (and all other women, whether or not they work outside the home) and it often takes me all month to get to read it - only to find that a number of offers have already expired.

TheOldestCat Thu 02-Aug-07 15:44:48

Well, personally I agree with Mrs Good Housekeeping.

After all, I hear that in this country, it's legal for us ladies to wear shorts and short skirts. As I've formerly worn such items, I might be expected to support these legal rights. But, on examination , I'm deeply ambivalent. Discreet, low key display of lady legs in a public place has always been tolerated, but in-your-face leg-baring is not the same thing at all.

I don't care how many women say they think it's fine; we have to take on board that, because legs are associated with sex, skirt wearing does make many men uncomfortable.

prettybird Thu 02-Aug-07 16:08:51

TheOldestCat!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now