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Can't breastfeed after midwife leaves

(24 Posts)
Moggymorn Fri 19-Jul-19 16:01:26

I have a 4 day old baby and I'm struggling with breastfeeding. Sore bent out of shape nipples as I'm just not getting his latch right. I've had a midwife out twice to reshow me, each time I've understood how to hold him properly, got him to latch and he's had a good feed then they leave and an hour or so later I try and feed him and I can't seem to hold him right, it all feels wrong and I'm in pain and can't get him to latch. I feel so hopeless calling them to come back again, I just can't seem to do it without their help

burritofan Fri 19-Jul-19 16:50:56

It is really, really, really tough and you're not hopeless! In some ways I'm lucky as I was in hospital for 3 days so I had a midwife help me for almost every feed, and I've had two lactation consultants. Is your health visitor any good? If the midwives are willing to come out and help, use them!

There might also be videos of technique on YouTube?

It does get easier, or at least it did for me, as my DD's mouth got bigger and she had more head control. I was shown how to basically flatten a big portion of boob like a sandwich and kind of flip it up into her mouth.

JamMakingWannaBe Fri 19-Jul-19 17:05:05

Hugs! Seriously, you are being amazing. Just take your time. It's really early days. You are learning to breastfeed and baby is learning to feed. The number one tip my MW have me was "it's breastfeeding, not nipple feeding". I've copied some pages from a breastfeeding guide I have. Both you and baby will get there!

SinkGirl Fri 19-Jul-19 17:07:26

OP, could you afford a session with a lactation consultant? They are incredible and will spend the time to help you understand how to get the hold right.

Also have a look at videos of the flipple technique to get a deeper latch smile

JamMakingWannaBe Fri 19-Jul-19 17:10:15

Guide photos 2.
Baby is brand new and you are a brand new mother! Congratulations! Just take a deep breath, get yourself comfortable and keep trying. Send OH out for nipple cream (purple tube, £10). Both you and baby will be just fine.

helpmum2003 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:13:02

You are doing really well - it will get easier. Call the midwife again if needed.

One thing I was told that helped was to aim the nipple at baby's nose.

Breastfeeding isn't easy and in the past women were kept in hospital for longer so had more help in the first few days.

BarberBabyBubbles Fri 19-Jul-19 17:16:29

It’s so hard at first. I remember feeling exactly as you do. Two phrases that helped me were “tummy to mummy” and “nose to nipple”.

Call the midwives out again: I’m sure they’d be happy to help you again. It is not easy to start.

BarberBabyBubbles Fri 19-Jul-19 17:17:01

And you really have to push baby’s mouth onto your boob!

Elmo311 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:27:00

That happened to me all the bloody time it was so hard and frustrating.
Keep calling them back to help you, also as previous poster has said lactation consultants are amazing and they will sit with you and help you for a while (mine stayed 5 hours and she was lovely)
I had to stop BF as my baby was jaundice and other issues but try and stay positive you can do it x

Tigger001 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:43:51

You are doing amazing and it is really only early days. I can remember feeling exactly the same and really frustrated.

Do not feel bad about calling them back, keep doing it for as long as you need to, they really won't mind at all. They will be glad to help.

A lactate consultant would be able to stay with you longer if you could afford one.

Or could you look locally for a bosom buddy type service at a local sure start centre although it is early to be out and about, if you get their number they will come and visit you.

You are doing great and don't worry about putting any of the professionals out, they will be happy to help. And plus they would say if they didn't have the time, so they must be happy to help. They will see this a million times, so really don't worry 💐💐💐💐

xtinak Fri 19-Jul-19 17:44:57

You can do it! We had a lot of issues with latch and I know exactly the thing about it works and then midwife leaves then it doesn't! I watched videos and read books and all that but ultimately I think the baby just couldnt latch well to start with regardless of what we did! You're not necessarily doing something wrong. I was in pain and it was really hard but we continued and now it works perfectly. I second the lactation consultant because though she couldn't solve the pain, she reassured me that everything was fine and we would be ok.

Spanneroo Fri 19-Jul-19 18:22:47

My DD2 needed a lot of encouragement to latch on properly. If she'd been my first, we'd have had a really hard time.

Are you making sure his mouth is open as wide as possible, like a baby bird? If he won't open up, I found wiggling my nipple on her top lip helped as she'd tip her head back and open up better. Sometimes it took a few minutes of doing this, without letting her feed, to get her to do so.

As soon as baby's mouth is open really wide, shove as much breast as you can in there. His chin should touch your breast, and your areola should be visible above his top lip. If you get it wrong, keep re-latching. Eventually, you'll both get the hang of it.

You're only 4 days in. You're doing brilliantly! Do you have any close mum friends/sister/mum who breastfed and could spend the day with you helping you out? A bit embarrassing, but would probably help immensely once you got over them seeing your nipple!

HoustonBess Fri 19-Jul-19 18:36:11

Oh, it's hard. Deep breaths and check your posture. If you can stay relaxed (very much easier said than done) it'll be easier.

If you run your tongue over the roof of yours mouth, you feel your palate goes from hard at the front to soft at the back. You want your nipple on the baby's soft palate otherwise it gets crushed on the hard bit. That's why you need the baby to take a full mouthful of boob.

It'll get easier. Lactation consultants are quite a good idea though - the fee sounds a lot but it's probably less than two months' formula supply!

Dawninglory Fri 19-Jul-19 19:10:23

I remember the first few days/ week well! It was really difficult, even second time round. After remembering DD wouldn't break, I firmly held her head in one hand to guide her, aimed nose in line with nipple, waited until her mouth opened and on she went. Yes it was sore for the first week or two but eventually you get past it and find a position which works. Good luck OP, try and relax, it will come. Lansinoh HPA cream really helps with the soreness.

ViSovari Fri 19-Jul-19 19:14:16

I’ve been there!! I got the midwifes out a few times.
I don’t have much to add to what’s been advised but I wanted to show solidarity.
I’m currently sat feeding my 6 month old before bed. If you’d told me that on day 4 I would have laughed at you...and then probably cried!

It hurts but it gets better. So much better!

PixieLumos Fri 19-Jul-19 19:19:31

But you can do it - the fact that you still need a bit of help doesn’t matter, you will get there! My DS didn’t match until day 10 after having his tongue tie clipped - no amount of midwife help was working. So you’re already miles ahead of where I was smile

PixieLumos Fri 19-Jul-19 19:20:24

*latch, not match

PixieLumos Fri 19-Jul-19 19:22:10

But speaking of tongue tie, have they checked? I only asked the midwife because a friend told me about it, they don’t automatically check.

Cannyhandleit Fri 19-Jul-19 19:22:30

When mine was tiny I found lying down on the bed facing each other with boobs out he could just latch on without me trying to find a good hold. It was a lot more natural!

GorkyMcPorky Fri 19-Jul-19 19:24:03

With my DD, who's now a thriving 9 year old, the only thing that helped was a nipple shield to get me in the right shape. We only needed to use it a couple of times - it was fabulous. Maybe you could try one.

lorisparkle Fri 19-Jul-19 20:27:38

With ds1 I phoned one of the breastfeeding helplines, la leche league I think, the lady was so patient and first listened to be sobbing the talked me through latching on. The things that helped me were - lying down to feed initially but then when sitting having a comfortable position , relaxing - keeping shoulders down, getting everything ready before I started, calming down the baby before attempting to latch on by letting them suck on a clean little finger, talking myself through the mantras 'nose to nipple' 'tummy to mummy' and 'baby to breast'.

MarkingMyPlace9 Fri 19-Jul-19 20:32:41

Your doing so well! But it is hard. I didn't manage it with DS1, but did with DS2 and am currently doing it fine with DD1. I feel the difference is watching this YouTube Video - It helped so much. I wish I knew about it before DS1!!

Hope the link works

burblife Fri 19-Jul-19 21:13:24

Just gone through this myself OP and now at 8 weeks Baby is latching well 90% of the time and my sore nipples have recovered.

Things that helped get through the tough first month -
watch YouTube videos on how to latch baby, read info on kellymom/la Leche league websites,
use lasinoh nipple cream,
Attend an nhs breastfeeding group (check local children's centres) for support from HV and breastfeeding peer supporters (they were more knowledgable than my midwives)

Don't give yourself a hard time! You're both learning and you will get there eventually.

WhenZogateSuperworm Fri 19-Jul-19 21:16:44

Most sure start centres have a breastfeeding group that meet weekly with peer supporters- you could try going there if you don’t want to ask your midwife again.

It will get easier. As they get bigger they get more able to latch themselves and I don’t even think about it with my 4 month old joe.

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