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Cluster feeds are a literal nightmare

(18 Posts)
khalisey Sat 06-Jul-19 21:32:54

My 10 day old will not stop cluster feeding in the night (usually 1-5am) and will not settle at all during this time.
He sleeps and feeds like a dream during the day (of course he would!) but at night he's a hungry little demon. I know the hot weather has made a huge impact on feeds because they need the fluid intake as much as we do to stay hydrated but it's really starting to take its toll on both me and my DP. Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
squeekywheel Sat 06-Jul-19 21:34:16

You're tougher than you think and you CAN do this. Keep repeating that.

Also, drink lots and eat cake.

HavelockVetinari Sat 06-Jul-19 21:36:10

At that age they're all nocturnal, don't give up - it flips around 6 weeks, for both FF and BF babies.

toottootchuggachugga Sat 06-Jul-19 21:40:56

It is tough but you can do it. It really won't be much longer. He's placing his order for the weeks to come-this is the time (stupid design I know) when your body is most responsive to being told to make more milk. Hang in there it's so worth it x

ElphabaTheGreen Sat 06-Jul-19 21:44:50

Define ‘cluster feeding’? Feeds actually continuously or you feed, put him in a cot and he wakes and wants feeding again? If it’s the latter, co-sleep, and feed lying down so he conks out in situ. It’s the coming off you that’s waking him.

hazandduck Sat 06-Jul-19 21:49:38

Always have water/a drink to hand and snacks. It is horrendous but it is over so quickly even though it feels forever now! As PP said in a matter of weeks it’ll start to feel better as his stomach gets bigger, your supply is more established, and you start to know his pattern of waking as well.

These early days are like being hit by a train, you’re doing amazing. ❤️

TheCuriousSofa Sun 07-Jul-19 07:59:52

It's brutal! DD2 was doing this till last week. She's three weeks old tomorrow and the past several nights has been doing more sleepy stints at night - not for more than two-three hours, and waking up for a long feed and squiggle in between, but it's not so tortuous! Can't remember how it went with DD1, but I know we went through this and things were vastly better a month in.

It feels like incredibly unhelpful advice to receive: but it does change quickly.

khalisey Sun 07-Jul-19 08:17:04

I'm not breastfeeding so I can't really co-sleep with a bottle fed baby 😞
I feel awful on my partner as he's the one who has offered to do the night feeds so I can sleep and take care of the LO during the day but he just will not settle at night. We've taken to having him downstairs at night in his Moses basket with my DP on the sofa instead of sleeping in our room in his cot as I'm suffering badly with severe PND and have Crohn's disease so rest for me is key so I don't relapse. We thought this might help but he's still not having any of it.
I'm honestly at my wits end now 😭

OP’s posts: |
hazandduck Sun 07-Jul-19 09:22:08

Oh you poor thing, that sounds really rough. Glad your DP is being so supportive. Ten days is still so young to have any sort of pattern. Have you had lots of support from your midwife/health workers for the PND?
Sorry I just assumed you were breastfeeding it was presumptuous and insensitive of me x you will get through this and you and your partner are doing great x

Rtmhwales Sun 07-Jul-19 17:47:33

Cluster feeding with formula fed babies is less common.. what exactly is he doing? How many times ounces is he drinking per bottle? Is he only taking one or two and then wanting to be fed again in an hour? Or is he taking more and you're still feeding him? Could he perhaps be awake and just unsettled but not hungry?

BrokenLink Sun 07-Jul-19 18:25:48

How long is your baby sleeping at a time during the day? If your baby is sleeping for 4 hour stretches or longer, this is why they are waking at night. It's ok to wake and feed 2-3 hourly through the day. Is your baby sleeping in the Moses basket for day time naps? If not, use the basket during the day so he gets used to it.

khalisey Sun 07-Jul-19 19:26:05

@Rtmhwales during the night he'll take a whole bottle, get burped, changed etc and get put down cause he'll be falling asleep on my partner and then an hour later he's waking for more with the usual signs of hunger. My partner will then go through the whole process again throughout the night until he's so exhausted that I end up waking and taking over so he can get some sleep. But during the day we'll do exactly the same thing and he'll sleep for two and a bit hours between feeds. We do the whole day/night transition, being loud and interactive during the day and letting in as much light as we can and come 8.30pm we turn the lights off and are as quiet as we can be to try and help him find a day/night routine.

We've spoken to countless midwives who have said it's normal which puts our minds at ease in a sense that he's getting the nutrients he needs but it doesn't make it any easier when we both just need a nice block of sleep during the night! 😞

OP’s posts: |
khalisey Sun 07-Jul-19 19:30:30

@BrokenLink only about two and a bit hours (sometimes a little less) at a time during the day. We've been putting him in his Moses basket usually but the past day or so we've been putting him on a play mat to be a little more interactive with him (not enough to overstimulate him though) and he'll sleep like a champ on that. It's at night when he goes into his cot when we want to go to bed - he'll be perfectly fed, changed, burped etc - but half an hour/hour later he's awake again so my partner brings him downstairs to his Moses basket and sleeps on the sofa so he's not constantly disturbing me getting the baby in and out of our bedroom.

OP’s posts: |
khalisey Sun 07-Jul-19 20:54:41

@hazandduck my midwife has been incredibly supportive - got referred to see mental health nurses yesterday on her advice and she even came to visit me today to see how I was feeling. Unfortunately until tomorrow there's not a lot they can do so I'm hopefully that something will start to happen then.

I know he's still so young and I keep trying to tell myself that he'll find his routine eventually but it's difficult when he won't settle at all at night and my DP and I are beyond exhausted when he has no issues sleeping during the day 😭

OP’s posts: |
Hugtheduggee Sun 07-Jul-19 23:43:01

As long as you are responsive to your baby, wake when he stirs, and place him in a safe place in relation to your body (not near your pillow), then I believe you can safely sleep with a bottle fed baby.

My first sad bottle fed, my second is breastfed. We bedshared with both and I wake equally responsibly to both.

If feeling unsure, then get a cosleeper cot, as it's the best of both worlds.

TeaMe Thu 11-Jul-19 20:54:41

It will pass but it's some sort of hormone that turns on at night and it builds up your supply for the next day. Just sleep during the day and enjoy the night cuddles.

ElphabaTheGreen Thu 11-Jul-19 21:00:38

TeaMe OP has said she isn’t breastfeeding. It’s a cluster-feeding FF baby.

TeaMe Fri 12-Jul-19 13:43:26

Oh I didn't know it was a thing with FF babies.

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