Please help, I am exhausted!(39 Posts)
DS is 14 weeks and has BF every 3 hours (on demand, but regular as clockwork). He is now (and for the past 6 nigghts) feeding every 1.5 to 2 hrs at night, but still 3 hrly during day.
He's not necessarily taking that much milk at these night feeds, but its hard to tell when breast feeding.
I am considering a bottle at his 10 o'clock feed so I know how much he's getting.
He could be thirsty if he's feeding regularly but not for long - jut enough to get the foremilk. 14 weeks is classic "growth spurt" time too, he might be going through that. Lasted about 4-5days with my two and then settled again. I know how hard it is, big hug x
I would give it a couple of days and see if he settles back down as he could just be feeding to build you supply up a bit...I know growth spurts tend to be over by this stage...but he's a boy
Mine stopped having a grwoth spurt at about 12 months irrc
Try & get other people to help you out for a few days to get some sleep during the day if poss. He's still tiny and supply / demand still likely to be up & down at this point I would have thought.
Abandon the housework, the partner,shop on the internet, do all you can to look after yourself. It will get easier, I promise!
Have you tried expressing a bit?
Then you can give the baby a good feed,go off to bed,warning your dh not to wake you for say.6 hours and directing him to bottle or two of EBM in the fridge.
A night's uninterrupted sleep makes all the difference.
Do you think he would take more milk during the day?
You could try offering a bit earlier than the 3 hours during the day to fit an extra feed or two in?
Are you sleeping in the same room? Do you have a spare bed? On Friday nights I used to sleep in the spare room & DH would bring DS to me when he woke, take him back & change him (if necessary), meaning I could feed semi-comatosed. It felt like I got more sleep
The other thing you could try is feeding every hour early evening. Some babies liketo "store up" milk for the night- if he does this he might sleep longer?
have you had a bfc take a look? i was horrified to find out that dd wasn't feeding when i thought she was... she was pissing about and i was knackered. google dr jack newman, there are films of what it looks like when they're feeding, you're looking for little movements in the ears and cheeks apparently but the best thing to do is have a really good professional have a squizz.
she's 19 months old and still a major pissabout, moony. takes after her father...
i went throgh this at that age too, it lasted about 3 weeks with my 20 week giant and his sleeping went to pot too - but now he has 5 big feeds a day and sleeps through till 7am so there is light at the end of the tunnel ! take the phone off the hook, stock up on books and chill in front of the telly till it's over, sounds likje it could be a growth spurt
I know this may be unpopular but have you tried a dummy? It seems that baby is not feeding effectively and 'pissing about' (for want of a better term!) stick with it, it'll get easier.
Try not to give a bottle just yet as this will have an effect on natures course of action.. to increase your supply.
It is extremely exhausting - i have just experienced it with dd2 at 20 weeks. If he is your only child nap as much as poss throughout the day.. and try to nurse him lying down whilst nodding at night time. It will pass. I ate a packet of Oat cakes and ended up engorged as a result! Try this to boost your supply too.
Big hugs.. your doing fantastic and remember your making this special food "just for him"
I agree on the bottle - don't give it unless you have to! Lots of drinks too to keep you hydrated.
I had this problem with DS. My HV advised me to try giving him water when he was up regular. Once he realised that's all that was on offer, he soon slept longer!! It's a boy thing I'm sure my son could be on the breast for 2 hours solid!! The water worked a treat!
I would NOT suggest water, as at 14 weeks he still needs his milk when he is demanding it.
Well, it workled a treat for me!! Ha had a good feed before bedtime. his first during-the-night feed was also breast milk, but he would be back up an hour later and hardly be on the breast any time at all. I'm sure it was only a comfort thing, so when he did this he got cooled boiled water. he soon went back to sleep!!
It's not as if I was starving the poor wee soul!!
Hi Thomas, I remember the exhaustion well. My little boy is 6mo now, and i can reassure you it gets a lot better. The turning point for me was when i decided to co-sleep. My poor husband is relegated to the spare room and me and my baby sleep contentedly in the same bed. He wakes for a feed a couple of times a night still, but as i dont have to get up, it really doesnt bother me, and sometimes he has been known to wiggle up to me, drink his fill, then fall back to sleep without waking me at all.
If you are concerned about sleeping in the same bed, read 'three in a bed' cant remember the author, but it really helped me get over the quite unfounded fear of squishing him. Best decision i ever made (apart from deciding to have a baby :-) ) good luck
it is fine for babies to want comfort at night tho? don't you sometimes wake up during the night and snuggle a little closer to your dh? why would babies not want or even need the same thing? I wouldn't give water and it isn't recommended for bf babies anyway.
I agree with the last poster. Read 3 in a bed by Deborah Jackson. One of the most enlightening reads for anyone. Not just parents of new babies.
sorry you are feeling so tired, lordy I know how it feels.
I think it's likely your baby is going through a growth spurt, you need to give your body chance to adjust. I would try offering a feed more often, even if you think you don't have enough milk. try and get lots of rest and eat well and cuddle your baby (esp skin to skin) as much as possible.and try expressing at the end of a feed.
you could also try breast compression - try googling it or searching on here.
I would give him a bottle at the 10pm feed as at least you will know whether he is waking from hunger or comfort for a couple of feeds I would have thought in the night.
Sleep deprivation is a killer and can really have a negative effect on the rest of your family and you (I should know I have a 9wo and a 3yo). If you are happy co-sleeping/comfort feeding him in the night go for it. If not I would definitely try him with a bottle at 10 with expressed milk if you prefer. I would also try him with a dummy if you wanted him to go a little longer in the night and knew that he had had a good feed at 10. If you did this then he fed again at say 1am, he would probably he hungrier than snacking through the night and may go another 3 hours until the next feed. I would have thought it unlikely at 14 weeks that one bottle during the course of 24 hours would mess up your milk supply.
Thank you for all your thoughts.
I have a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old, but will try to drink and rest as much as possible.
Treid co sleeping last night. It made no difference to the no. times he woke.
My concern is that if i feed him too often during the dat he'll end up snacking and not getting any hind milk.
DS2 went from 3 hr feeds to 4 then 5hr to thro night as a natural progression. I suppose no 2 babies are the same.
Ive not expressed or formula fed so far as i don't want to confuse my milk supply. or maybe this is a myth?
DS2 is 11 weeks and still feeds at least every 2 hours day and night, so I think your DS sounds pretty normal!
The co-sleeping might not make him wake less, but if you feed him lying down you can both nod off after he has fed and it is much less discruptive.
DS2 sleeps in our bedand we all get more sleep this way (much easier than getting him in/out of a cot or feeding sitting up when you need to stay awake).
And agree with others about trying a dummy and also chilling out as much as you can.
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