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Have I ruined breastfeeding?

(20 Posts)
Freyasmum1 Thu 23-May-19 19:51:19

Breastfeeding was going really well but now DD has stimulated too much milk and is struggling to latch. I relented and gave her a dummy while I hand express some off. Have I ruined feeding now? I'm devastated if so. I am so relieved to have a break though. She has actually fallen asleep in her cot for the first time. I could cry with relief at giving my boobs an hours break, but also cry again because I so wanted feeding to succeed and now I'm worried it's ruined.

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CharlotteFlax Thu 23-May-19 19:52:31

No you've definitely not cocked up. Just keep offering the breast.

JeremyCorbynsCoat Thu 23-May-19 19:55:33

Definitely not! My DS has a dummy and is still breastfeeding now at 19 months. He threw his dummy away at about 6 months and has refused it ever since

mintoreo Thu 23-May-19 19:56:16

Hey, I didnt breastfeed so I cant advise too much. But if it provides any reassurance i know a few people who breastfeed who have their baby a dummy from being very young and breastfeeding is still going fine (our children are now nearly a year old) Someone may correct me if I'm wrong but I think the advice is to not introduce a dummy until breastfeeding is well established incase you cause confusion, so maybe hold off giving it her again if she still really tiny - I think they say 6 week (again someone feel free to correct me) but like I said above your not the only one and I doubt it will cause any problems.

Freyasmum1 Thu 23-May-19 19:57:10

Thanks @CharlotteFlax I know I couldn't have made a different decision I just wanted to make sure feeding was well established before any risk of confusion. It feels like what we both needed right then, she was struggling to latch and tired, I was overwhelmed and in pain feeding. She's had me up every hour at least. I'm knackered.

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UpToonGirl Thu 23-May-19 19:57:17

Please don't worry, my first feed constantly for four weeks until I introduced a dummy. I remember the relief as he fell asleep without feeding! Have yourself a break and offer the breast when she wakes up. Adding a dummy didn't cause any problems BFing for us, it actually helped us get into a routine.

Other DC didn't take to dummies and it was much harder to get a break!

ShadowKitty Thu 23-May-19 19:58:50

I gave my first a dummy quite early as he was comfort suckling a lot and I was so sore I was about to give up breastfeeding. It was fine and we continued to breastfeed for ten months and used a dummy to settle him for sleeping. Dummy fairy collected them all when he was about 2.5 and that went fine too - dentist and doc had no issue with us using it just for sleeping up till that age.

Freyasmum1 Thu 23-May-19 20:03:36

Thanks @JeremyCorbynsCoat and @mintoreo and @UpToonGirl

Good to know it didn't mess up feeding yours she's only 5 days though. She's spat it out now and is feeding again. It's so hard hardly having a break at all.

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Freyasmum1 Thu 23-May-19 20:04:11

Sorry if I tagged wrong there!

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Aquamarine1029 Thu 23-May-19 20:06:01

You have not messed anything up. This is totally normal and your baby won't notice, I promise.

Mississippilessly Thu 23-May-19 20:14:38

Nope I'm sure you will be absolutely fine. It's so overwhelming having a wee one clamped to you all the time - anything that gets you a rest is worth it.

I promise it gets easier x

Freyasmum1 Thu 23-May-19 20:58:30

@Mississippilessly Thanks x

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redcaryellowcar Thu 23-May-19 21:05:35

All will be fine, try not to worry, babies need and want to feed and not much will get in the way of that. You are doing a great job.

UnderTheSleepingBaby Thu 23-May-19 21:31:09

My son was 5 days old when I gave in and gave him a dummy, it was the best decision for both of us. I had an oversupply and a fast let down which made it really hard for him to suck for comfort as he just got a face full of milk. It wasn't until about 5 months old that it had settled enough for him to comfort suck if he wanted. I fed him for 15 months and ditched the dummy at 2yrs, no problems at all.

So long as you offer the breast first and then the dummy when you are sure baby isn't hungry then you will be fine. Congratulations on your new baby and well done for breastfeeding, it is so worth these tough early weeks for the ease of it once you both get the hang of it.

Freyasmum1 Fri 24-May-19 17:54:53

@UnderTheSleepingBaby

I have a massive oversupply too and she gets so upset trying to latch and then the milk just comes even faster.
She's feeding better today, but I'm massively engorged before each feed which has been every hour. I'll be happy when it settles a bit but glad she's still breastfeeding.
I never realised oversupply could be such a problem!

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trampolinebouncer Fri 24-May-19 19:42:52

From a couple of days old I have given the baby a dummy & he is BF also takes expressed milk in a bottle happily - introduced it all early as so many other stories of babies not taking bottles etc.

I give one bottle every couple of days just to keep that going. What may be helpful although you don't want to pump to encourage more, but if you are going to pump you could express at the start of a couple of feeds a day just an ounce or two and that will soften the boob and you are sticking up if needed. If you don't want to pump when the milk is squirting out at the start, just let it squirt into a mussy and then after a very short time it calms to allow the latch to get easier.

I am 7 weeks in but at the start had massive over supply problems and the pump just softens them. Now we are fine & I pump just when I want to get a bottle prepared at the start or end of a natural feed time. Baby is mostly feeding 3 hourly now, but at 4 weeks was 2hourly during the day. But evening is still cluster feeding as it has been from the start -

onedayallthiswillbeyours Fri 24-May-19 19:50:12

Don't panic, sounds like you are doing brilliantly. For what it's worth all 4 of mine had dummies from birth and were also breastfed for 10 months plus each. Never had any dummy related issues! I also had a huge supply and would express off a bit if it got too full. When your baby has a growth spurt you will be very glad of all that extra milk! Yes they do feed very often in the first few weeks, then gradually before you realise what is happening the feeds start to space out until you are going an hour and a half to three hours between. Just enjoy sitting and feeding if you can for now, they are magic hours that are gone too soon smile

PorridgeLove Fri 24-May-19 21:12:38

I am in a similar situation with my 8 week old. We have come to a point where his weight gain faltered because of breast refusal. After meeting with the LC and the GP, the plan is to get him back to nursing while supplementing with expressed milk. Currently he will only nurse when I lie down with him and he has to be sleepy (as in just waking up).

I would keep offering a bottle when baby refuses the breast. DO NOT starve baby into nursing. It did not work for me.

LC and GP assured me that bottles and dummies are fine. In fact, needed because baby must eat and suck for comfort.

Freyasmum1 Sat 25-May-19 08:33:12

She's not been supplemented at all just had the dummy a few times. Seems to be feeding better now though think I just had too much milk which was making latching hard but expressing some off has helped.

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icclemunchy Sat 25-May-19 08:42:01

Echoing others who say you've deff not ruined bf. Many many bf babie shave a dummy.

LLL have a page about oversupply which might be useful https://www.laleche.org.uk/too-much-milk-and-oversupply/ and you can ring them if you want to talk it through in more detail

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