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Breastfeeding at ten and a half months(30 Posts)
Hi I'm looking for some advice on how much is normal for a ten month old to bf . She still feeds constantly and I'm starting to get really fed up I thought it would get easier but it's just got more demanding.
For example since yesterday evening she has fed at 6,8,10, 11.30, 1.30., 3ish, 5, 6.30 7.30. 9. Then she had a big bowl of porridge with mashed banana at half 9 then another breast feed at half ten . 12 then half 1 and another one now!
Sorry for all the info but this isn't a new thing so not just a "phase" she's always been like this . Is it normal? I'm absolutely knackered.
Food wise she does really well with porridge but doesn't eat a great amount the rest of the day.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
I can’t gelp with suggestions but this sounds normal based on my experience...any teeth/leaps/sleep regressions/illness the feeding ramped up.
It looks like she's feeding every 1.5-2 hours in the night. Presumably she's feeding to sleep? I suggest you cut out the night feeds. I did that when DS was 10 months and it saved my sanity and allowed me to continue breastfeeding during the day (we're still going at nearly 2).
You will need to choose your night weaning method (gradual or cold turkey) and if baby has been feeding to sleep you'll need to settle them another way and probably sleep train (but there are gentle methods). Everyone has strong opinions on it but we felt it was necessary and beneficial for all of us (DS needs sleep to develop, we need sleep to be good parents!)
That's a lot more than mine fed at that age, although they were very keen on solid food so maybe faster to replace calories that way. I think I did probably 4 feeds per day at 10 months and had night weaned too. How's the napping? Is she feeding for comfort instead of sleeping?
nothing like that much. During the day, at any rate, she had one feed when she work up, one after she woke from her long midday nap and one at bedtime.
Yes I feel like it's to much. Regarding naps I don't feed her to sleep I just put her in her bed and she will self settle quicky . And normal sleeps 1 hour or a bit more don't think I've got a 2 hour nap yet.
Same for bedtime she goes to bed by herself but she is still in a next to me crib and can roll herself to me for a feed Inthe night . I will out her back in her crib but she normally wakes back up in. A hour or two and wants fed.
I really want to put her in her own room but th thought I will have to get up ever hour in the night just drains me.
Also regarding solids should I try to up them? I do offer a good amount and she tries Everything but doesn't eat a lot of what I give her.
She's not hungry as she's filling up on breastmilk which is more calorie rich than solid food.
If you cut out the night feeds she'll eat more in the day.
I suggest moving to her room and getting DH/DP (assuming you have one) to work with you on some kind of sleep training. Obviously it's not sustainable to get up and settle her every 1.5-2 hours.
When we night weaned and sleep trained, DH and I did half the night each, so each of us could get a decent chunk of sleep (with ear plugs) and we also had family to stay over and help a few times. Hard work but so worth it.
Btw, for the transition from Next2me to her own room, if you want to do it gradually you could try starting her in her own room, get DH/DP to settle her in her room until the end of his "shift", then bring her back into the next2me and breastfeed for the rest of the night.
That worked for us for a while, but when we cut all night feeds we had to keep him in his room (I figured it would be difficult for him to settle next to me if I smelled of milk!) Luckily we had space for a single bed in his room and it helped to have the option for one of us to sleep in there when he wouldn't settle. If you don't have space you could use a mattress.
Or just do controlled crying and get it over with in no more than a week
I think by 10 months I probably did porridge or weetabix and banana for breakfast. Sandwiches or soup and crackers for lunch. Pasta or casserole and rice for tea. Basically a small portion of whatever we were having. Plus some sort of finger food as a starter eg carrot sticks or slice of pepper. And yoghurt or fruit for pudding. So lots of non milk calories.
I'd try night weaning - put her in a cot in her own room and send her dad/gran/uncle (anyone without the milk dispensers!) in to settle her.
Thanks for all the advice. Going to put her in her room . luckily it's got a single bed in there to. I need to get my partner to help me so far he's not done any of the night feeds or helping to settle her.
Do you think if I just space the feeds out to every 3/4 hours during the day this will help with her taking more food and getting into a routine ?
"so far he's not done any of the night feeds or helping to settle her."
I breastfed but DH still gave a bottle of expressed milk sometimes and settled DS when he didn't need a feed.
You still haven't said whether you are going to night wean or not? If you are, you shouldn't restrict daytime feeds, not while baby adjusts.
Just to say my 9.5 month old still breastfeeds this much, and he also eats three meals a day
I need to get my partner to help me aka parenting his child. At 10 months it’d be an absolute maximum of every 3 hours between 7am and 10pm and nothing at night between 10pm to 7am. It should probably be less than that too!
Oh and I would be very cautious about spacing out day feeds, as it might just make her want to eat more at night to make up for it! Especially if she doesn't increase her solid intake in proportion.
Can you try having some easy food ready to grab so that during the day when she wants to breastfeed you could offer her some solids instead? Or if you know she likes porridge could you try giving some of that before bed to help fill her up a bit?
@NameChange30 hi just wanted to ask how did you drop the night feeds and sleep train? I'm currently in the same predicament. I'm going insane and feeling very depressed.
Mine fed as much as I let them. Around 11 months I started putting cows milk in a beaker and gradually they stopped asking as much. Dd2 was harder as she barely ate food before a year
Both of mine breastfed every two hours or so until they were one and a half/two. In the end I got fed up (and was a bit worried that my nipples would fall off) so I banned breast milk.
I know it's ridiculous that we have gotten this far with little input from my partner things will have to change !.
I want to breastfeed until a year don't want to go over that. So ideally I would like to stop the night feeds and get her into more of a routine during the day.
But obviously concerned about just stopping them at night and it having adverse affects .
Know one tells you breastfeeding would be this hard 😩
Sorry you're struggling, I've been there and sympathise
I followed advice from a trusted source and did the following:
Stage 1: cold turkey on the night feeds, no feeds at all between bedtime and morning, but you can do anything else to settle baby - in practice this meant rocking/holding to sleep and he would wake up and scream when we put him down, so between us we were up all night. This phase didn't take long or at least it shouldn't have if we have moved on to the next phase sooner...
Stage 2: transition from rocking/holding to getting baby to self settle in cot, in theory you could do PUPD and then gradual retreat but in reality this just didn't work for us, we did try but many torturous nights later we resorted to controlled crying and that worked very quickly. I had always been completely against CC but it actually felt like the kindest way (strangely) because there was much less crying overall. I did 1-2-3-4-5 mins and never left him longer than 5 minutes, I also did cuddle/touch him to calm him down when I went in, if I felt it was necessary (whereas I think the strict way of doing it is minimal interaction ie you shhh but don't cuddle or touch).
Oh god my son has just turned 1 and he's like this. Unfortunately I'm on my own for another month so I can't do anything other than carry on. He feeds to sleep so the thought of getting up to feed him back to sleep fills me with dread so he's just on my bed with me.
The women I talk to tell me to just carry on as long as it's working but the fact is I'm not happy doing it. I think I'm going to try controlled crying as any other option just doesn't work. That and refusing him milk in the evening so he should hopefully eat his dinner instead. Good luck!!
PS Others might find have more success with gradual/gentle methods than we did, perhaps some babies are more independent, but DS has always been very demanding!
Yup, that is too much breastfeeding for a 10mo--she needs to be shifting the emphasis towards solid foods.
You could try reducing the night feeding a bit first by only giving her a limited number of minutes per feed--then, once she is taking less milk that way, take a deep breath and close the milk bar at night altogether. It is easier if your partner takes over the nighttime shift until she is night weaned (should take about 2-3 mights--expect screaming!) but you CAN do it yourself if you have to--I did.
Mine is 16 months and still waking at night, usually after at least 6 hours sleep but still not ideal.
After going to a la leche group with lots of breastfeeding toddlers still waking frequently in the night it's made me realise that if you don't cut out feeding at night they are just going to keep waking up for it. I don't want to still be feeding in the night at 3 years old! Unfortunately my DH gets up early for work in the morning so don't get any support in the night so not sure how I'm going to go about night weaning
So again last night was horrendous! Definitely getting her into her own room. I think she's just become to used to me being there . Which is nice but not every hour.
Sorry to hear there is so many in the same boat 😢 that's why I want to stop at a year. I think breastfeeding is great but wouldnt say I have enjoyed it. I need to have some more time for me. And like that don't want a 3 year old still feeding in the night.
My baby (DC2) is 8 months and like yours feeds every couple of hours still even during the night.
Thing is I know she isn't actually hungry because she eats plenty of solids through the day and happily drinks water from a sippy cup, so some of it is just habit/snacking. I have the benefit of having been through this with DC1 too which gives me the confidence to do some of the following things as I know DC2 isn't going to spontaneously combust so this age.
I'm exhausted. Last night I finally had enough and gave the baby and a bottle of formula to DP, told him to go upstairs and I went and slept on the sofa. Fell asleep pretty much immediately at about 10pm. Woke up at 1am and went to bed, everyone else including the baby were fast asleep (she woke up around 4am).
DP told me this morning that she screamed her head off for a bit but eventually went to sleep. Didn't drink the formula because she presumably wasn't actually hungry, she just wanted me. But for the first time in 8 months both she and I got more than two hours sleep and we are both much happier this morning.
It's time for your DP to step up. Your baby isn't going to starve if they miss a feed during the night, you could see if they might find an ellas yoghurt pouch or something acceptable instead?
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