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Argh. So annoyed. Breastfeeding but ARGH.

(11 Posts)
Frustratedwife Tue 22-Jan-19 21:05:32

I am so annoyed. I breastfeed. I have done both children. Currently feeding my 3 month old. People know I breastfeed, I breastfeed in public when I need to, but I don't like people noticing, if you see what I mean. I have ridiculous Dolly Parton breasts when feeding, and I spend a lot of time making sure my outfits when I'm around others are incredibly discreet because I feel so embarrassed by my enormous boobs. I don't care if they see me feeding, I do care if they see my boobs.

The other day I was relaxing at home with the kids and my husband was playing around with his new camera. I was feeding the baby and was totally not discreet. Full boob out, not subtle in any way. Because I was at home and safe and comfortable. My husband took a couple of pictures and I said in a joking way "those better not end up on facebook". Hahaha how we laughed, he KNOWS how I try to be discreet in public.

Then this evening he sends a bunch of photos he's taken to his family on their family whatsapp group including the one of me with my whole boob out. I hate it. I hate that it has been seen by others. He's deleted it but it's still on anyone's phone that had already downloaded it. Or anyone who has seen it already has seen it even if it is deleted.

Ugh. I'm so annoyed. It makes me want to go and buy formula and a bottle so that my body isn't there for anyone else to see again. Or to only ever feed shut away on my own in a room. Why bother trying to be discreet in public when my naked breasts are going to be sent round to people anyway.

It's not even like it's a subtle picture with the baby's head covering most of my boob. It was proper lazy feeding with him lolling on my lap and you can practically see my nipple in his mouth and the whole of my boob except the bottom few cm is fully on display.

I don't want to see anyone in his family now as I'm so ashamed they've seen me like that. I don't want to feed my baby around anyone, including around my husband.

How the hell can I feel better about this? (I know...it's just a boob...but it's mine and I was so careful and am so embarrassed by them anyway sad )

OP’s posts: |
Lollyice Tue 22-Jan-19 21:11:45

Can he delete it? My cousin sent a message to a group WhatsApp but when I tried to read it, it had been deleted! She had sent it in error.
Your DH is an idiot but I'm sure his family saw the photo and wouldn't give it a second thought and know that you are doing an amazing job.

whiteworld Tue 22-Jan-19 21:15:27

God, your h is a twat! I’d be furious in your situation. But..., you are much harder on yourself than anyone else will be. They will just think, aw, lovely pic. They won’t be critiquing your boobs, but your h needs to be more careful with pics! Make sure he knows that.

Keep on. You’re doing a great job.

Sexnotgender Tue 22-Jan-19 21:17:06

Bless you I can imagine how humiliating that was for you. I’d be very upset if my husband did that to me.

Maryann1975 Tue 22-Jan-19 21:20:28

I would have been furious with dh if he’d done that. It’s really hard, but it’s done now and I don’t think it can be undone. As harsh as it sounds you are going to have to get over it as you can’t avoid his family forever. But, I would be furious and would expect him to be showing how sorry he is for quite a long time.

OlennasWimple Tue 22-Jan-19 21:23:40

Yes, it can be deleted but if someone has already opened the message the photo will probably have automatically downloaded to their phone. He shoudl still delete it and ask everyone who received it to delete it.

What an inconsiderate knobhead

darceybussell Tue 22-Jan-19 21:32:58

What a dick, I'd be furious! Did you give him a kicking?

CrazyOldBagLady Tue 22-Jan-19 21:48:05

You don't have any reason to be embarrassed, please don't feel ashamed. I bet the photos were really sweet and touching. That said, your DH was bang out of order sharing them without your agreement. Why on earth did he do that?

Frustratedwife Tue 22-Jan-19 22:10:41

It's reassuring to know that others would also find this upsetting and a bit of a dick move on his part.

Oh he knows I'm pissed. His family whatsapp isn't just older sisters who fed their own kids and his lovely mother. It includes his dad who is a church pastor, his sister who struggled so so hard to breastfeed and ultimately couldnt (and who I try to be sensitive to that fact around), and various other family members who are teenage boys, awkward young male adults, student girls in their prime of life with their fashionable outfits and perfect bodies... in fact, if you tried to imagine a worse group of people to have your naked breastfeeding boob pictures sent to, you'd be hard pushed.

crazy you're kind to suggest they might be sweet and touching pictures. I can imagine the kind you mean, with a mother gazing lovingly at a peaceful child... I had sick on my shoulder and I have an awful cold which has left me red faced and bleary eyed and generally gross. Not the time for a "mother nature" photoshoot!

It's the kind of picture I'd be peeved about even if fully dressed, as I just look like shit. But I could get over that much more readily than the naked boob sad

OP’s posts: |
CrazyOldBagLady Tue 22-Jan-19 22:23:44

I didn't mean the mother nature kind of photo, I mean the bleary eyed, vomity vest, real life moment in time with your child. The type of picture you hate now but will love in 10 years. It's still incomprehensible why he shared it to all and sundry though.

Almostthere15 Tue 22-Jan-19 22:28:23

I totally get why you're cross. But you should be proud of those dolly boobs, and the fact that they are being used in the most wonderful way. That collection of people on that WhatsApp group and exactly the kind of people who need to see it. Awkward teens and all.

It doesn't excuse dh at all, but I bet he's relay proud of you too and that's why he didn't think. He should have certainly, and I'm sorry you feel sad but you're doing an amazing thing

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