Please tell me it gets better

[Chardeemacdennis1]

DD is 4 days old.

She latched really well in the hospital so I was given no advice or assistance with Bf.

Now we're home and I'm finding it really hard. On the right side I find it really uncomfortable, like she sucking too hard it's a tugging pinching feeling. Not relaxing or nice at all. On the left the sucking feels fine and quite relaxing but the boob is hard as sore. I've tried massaging out and expressing but it just goes hard again on the next feed.

I feel like the latch must be wrong but I can't see how. She sucking and pausing, she taking lots in her mouth it all looks fine but it's just not a nice experience for me at all.

At the moment I feel like I can't keep this going much longer. I'm sore and tired and dread feeding her.

Please tell me its normal for it to be difficult at the start and things will get better.

[ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName]

It’s shit at first! You don’t know what you’re doing and nor does the baby! I promise it gets easier though, please don’t give up. Is there a breastfeeding group or cafe you can go to? Your health visitor should have details and they’ll be able to help you. It gets so much better after about six weeks. I remember being where you are and telling DH I would have to give up, but I fed both my DDs for over two years. Keep on keeping on, express if you can so that your husband can give her a bottle while you get some sleep- you’ll feel much better about everything, including breastfeeding, after some rest.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

I've got midwife coming round tomorrow so hopefully she can provide me some info on groups. Although not sure I can face leaving the house right now.

I really want to persevere but at the same time feel I can't be doing this right and dispare that I won't ever get it right.

[Escolar]

Honestly OP it will soon get much better. Hang in there!

[ollhe]

My advice always is to see if la Leche league offer a group near you. They’re so knowledgeable and helpful! And it’s good to be with other mums.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

Hv is coming 24th

I think i do need more instructions because I have watched videos and read tutorials online but I'm not seeing what we're doing wrong. It's only the right boob too. Left feels fine when feeding.

[Ottermum23]

It will get better,promise!

However, both of my girls were only fed from left boob, god knows why, but I remember having one much bigger all the time, for months.😂
The difficulty feeding will pass, and honestly it really worth it. Don't give up!

[Littlebelina]

Hard boob is probably your milk coming in. It should settle in a day or so. It hurts though and I had forgotten how much!

The sucking does get better. I'm sure my latch was fine for both the children I've breastfed but it still was unpleasant to start with and I used nipple shields both times for a week. Dd is now 9 weeks and feeding is much easier and I'm glad I stuck with it. Can't get her to take a bottle though

[Bigonesmallone3]

Stay strong OP

[SnuggyBuggy]

It gets better. If nothing else your baby will get bigger and more efficient at extracting milk.

[MutantDisco]

Sounds like you're getting it right. It gets gradually less painful as their mouths get bigger.

Www.kellymom.com is an excellent website; if you want a book then The Food of Love is brilliant.

Keep going OP, you're doing so well

[Hermie12]

It was really painful and sore for me for the first 6 weeks but so glad I kept going. I def had more probs feeding from the right I ended up using a different hold for that side and found it much easier so worth experimenting with this

[Four4me]

Try feeding from the right with the rugby ball hold, so she is laid in the same direction as when she feeds from the left. This is how one of my babies fed in the early days when one side was a struggle.

[laurG]

It will get better but op if you really dont enjoy it or it’s too much remember formula is fine too. I totally encourage you to keep trying if YOU want to but don’t if you find it doesn’t ease up x

[Chardeemacdennis1]

I'll give rugby ball a go. I've started using a cushion which is helping and towards the end of the feed her sucking is getting less violent which helps.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

Feeding was going much better last night. No pain on the left and only a little discomfort on the right.

Only she wouldn't stop feeding. She was doze off on the boob, I'd put her back in bed then she would either sleep for only 30 mins before cried for food again or she didn't sleep at all. This went on from 1am until 5am. She then started fussing and crying. Now she won't sleep, won't eat won't settle, just cries unless she has a dummy.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Midwife is round later so hopefully she can help.

[Strugglingonagain]

Cluster feeding, very normal. It's a killer but will settle, honestly. A lot of people co-sleep or feed lying down, I can't get to grips with either personally. I hope the nights settle down a bit for you x

[SnuggyBuggy]

I ended up side lying feeding and co sleeping with DD and should have started sooner. I couldn't recommend it enough.

[Tinty]

How long is she on the boob before she drops off and do you keep swapping sides? My MW told me if baby only fed for 5 mins then came off to feed on the same side again so she would get hind milk. It was explained to me that the first 5 - 10 mins is fore milk (like a drink) after that it is hind milk (so more like food). So I would feed left side then left side again if she wanted feeding within 30 mins. Then the next time feed right side then right side again.

And as PP said she is cluster feeding to build up your supply. Can you express. It sounds a bit odd but I would sometimes try to express on the opposite breast whilst DD was feeding to try and up my milk production and also so I had some expressed milk to freeze. I did only get about 20 mls a time for the first few weeks.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

The constant feeding was fine I was expecting it. It was when she kept crying but refusing to eat. Then refusing to sleep.

She calmed down now and taken a feed. We think maybe she gorged herself getting the milk to come in and then got tummy ache.

I did express some as my boobs went really hard when she was refusing to eat.

I'll bare that in mind with the hind milk thing. I had been feeding 10 - 20 mins a side so maybe on some feeds the milk wasn't satisfying.

Shes calm now but still not really sleeping. Don't know why she's not exhausted, I am.

[MutantDisco]

Tiny babies feed CONSTANTLY. Their stomachs are small so they need a feed as soon as they've had one, plus she's trying to boost your supply.

DS1 spent 24 hours solidly on the boob on Christmas

[SnuggyBuggy]

Also sometimes tiny babies struggle to latch when mums breasts are hard and engorged. I used to have to hand express in the early hours just to soften them enough to get baby DD to latch.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

She did her first (giant) poo. She's fed and sleeping now. We think she just ate too much and got runny ache. She seems OK now. Fingers crossed we have a better night tonight.

[BeautifulPossibilities]

All sounds normal.

Get through one feed then the next. Try her with your partner to settle so she can't smell milk. A sling is good for that. Look for early feeding cues.

Remember she is learning, you are learning and that you are built to so this.

I honestly could have packed it in for the first weeks. Horrible but I'm so glad I didn't. Fed until about 3.5.

[Chardeemacdennis1]

Slightly better tonight so far. It's definitely less uncomfortable. She's also sleeping between feeds so I'm sleeping. But my boobs are now massive and she struggling to latch because they're so big. Having to pinch the boob to help her.

I did not expect Bf to be this complicated and difficult! I'm sticking with it though I know it'll be worth it in the end.