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Please tell me it gets better

(30 Posts)
Chardeemacdennis1 Tue 18-Dec-18 17:04:46

DD is 4 days old.

She latched really well in the hospital so I was given no advice or assistance with Bf.

Now we're home and I'm finding it really hard. On the right side I find it really uncomfortable, like she sucking too hard it's a tugging pinching feeling. Not relaxing or nice at all. On the left the sucking feels fine and quite relaxing but the boob is hard as sore. I've tried massaging out and expressing but it just goes hard again on the next feed.

I feel like the latch must be wrong but I can't see how. She sucking and pausing, she taking lots in her mouth it all looks fine but it's just not a nice experience for me at all.

At the moment I feel like I can't keep this going much longer. I'm sore and tired and dread feeding her.

Please tell me its normal for it to be difficult at the start and things will get better.

OP’s posts: |
ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName Tue 18-Dec-18 17:12:25

It’s shit at first! You don’t know what you’re doing and nor does the baby! I promise it gets easier though, please don’t give up. Is there a breastfeeding group or cafe you can go to? Your health visitor should have details and they’ll be able to help you. It gets so much better after about six weeks. I remember being where you are and telling DH I would have to give up, but I fed both my DDs for over two years. Keep on keeping on, express if you can so that your husband can give her a bottle while you get some sleep- you’ll feel much better about everything, including breastfeeding, after some rest.

Chardeemacdennis1 Tue 18-Dec-18 18:20:14

I've got midwife coming round tomorrow so hopefully she can provide me some info on groups. Although not sure I can face leaving the house right now.

I really want to persevere but at the same time feel I can't be doing this right and dispare that I won't ever get it right.

OP’s posts: |
Escolar Tue 18-Dec-18 18:21:50

Honestly OP it will soon get much better. Hang in there!

ollhe Tue 18-Dec-18 18:27:31

My advice always is to see if la Leche league offer a group near you. They’re so knowledgeable and helpful! And it’s good to be with other mums.

snuggledonthesofa Tue 18-Dec-18 19:45:09

Have you seen the HV yet? my one referred me to a breastfeeding counsellor and had a visit from her the next day. Think it's luck whether you have one in your area though.

I fed my 1st & 2nd DCs with ease but no.3 is a little monkey. Fine in hospital but once we got home he had a really bad latch. All I needed to do was help him get my nipple in the right position as he found it difficult to get it to the roof of his mouth. Took a week of seeing the breastfeeding counsellor to get it and another week or 2 of practice to get it 'right', but he's 13 weeks now and it's fine now.

Hang in there. It really does get easier if you have help. Google le leche league and NCT. Try a Helpline if you can, try different positions and just remember as long as baby has plenty of wet nappies they're fine.

Chardeemacdennis1 Tue 18-Dec-18 20:19:41

Hv is coming 24th

I think i do need more instructions because I have watched videos and read tutorials online but I'm not seeing what we're doing wrong. It's only the right boob too. Left feels fine when feeding.

OP’s posts: |
Ottermum23 Tue 18-Dec-18 20:23:48

It will get better,promise!

However, both of my girls were only fed from left boob, god knows why, but I remember having one much bigger all the time, for months.😂
The difficulty feeding will pass, and honestly it really worth it. Don't give up!

Littlebelina Tue 18-Dec-18 20:24:42

Hard boob is probably your milk coming in. It should settle in a day or so. It hurts though and I had forgotten how much!

The sucking does get better. I'm sure my latch was fine for both the children I've breastfed but it still was unpleasant to start with and I used nipple shields both times for a week. Dd is now 9 weeks and feeding is much easier and I'm glad I stuck with it. Can't get her to take a bottle thoughconfused

Bigonesmallone3 Tue 18-Dec-18 20:26:45

Stay strong OP

SnuggyBuggy Tue 18-Dec-18 20:29:31

It gets better. If nothing else your baby will get bigger and more efficient at extracting milk.

MutantDisco Tue 18-Dec-18 20:31:44

Sounds like you're getting it right. It gets gradually less painful as their mouths get bigger. is an excellent website; if you want a book then The Food of Love is brilliant.

Keep going OP, you're doing so well thanks

Hermie12 Tue 18-Dec-18 20:35:38

It was really painful and sore for me for the first 6 weeks but so glad I kept going. I def had more probs feeding from the right I ended up using a different hold for that side and found it much easier so worth experimenting with this

Four4me Tue 18-Dec-18 20:43:15

Try feeding from the right with the rugby ball hold, so she is laid in the same direction as when she feeds from the left. This is how one of my babies fed in the early days when one side was a struggle.

laurG Tue 18-Dec-18 20:45:20

It will get better but op if you really dont enjoy it or it’s too much remember formula is fine too. I totally encourage you to keep trying if YOU want to but don’t if you find it doesn’t ease up x

Chardeemacdennis1 Tue 18-Dec-18 20:47:44

I'll give rugby ball a go. I've started using a cushion which is helping and towards the end of the feed her sucking is getting less violent which helps.

OP’s posts: |
Chardeemacdennis1 Wed 19-Dec-18 12:27:23

Feeding was going much better last night. No pain on the left and only a little discomfort on the right.

Only she wouldn't stop feeding. She was doze off on the boob, I'd put her back in bed then she would either sleep for only 30 mins before cried for food again or she didn't sleep at all. This went on from 1am until 5am. She then started fussing and crying. Now she won't sleep, won't eat won't settle, just cries unless she has a dummy.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Midwife is round later so hopefully she can help.

OP’s posts: |
Strugglingonagain Wed 19-Dec-18 12:33:39

Cluster feeding, very normal. It's a killer but will settle, honestly. A lot of people co-sleep or feed lying down, I can't get to grips with either personally. I hope the nights settle down a bit for you x

SnuggyBuggy Wed 19-Dec-18 12:59:03

I ended up side lying feeding and co sleeping with DD and should have started sooner. I couldn't recommend it enough.

Tinty Wed 19-Dec-18 13:07:13

How long is she on the boob before she drops off and do you keep swapping sides? My MW told me if baby only fed for 5 mins then came off to feed on the same side again so she would get hind milk. It was explained to me that the first 5 - 10 mins is fore milk (like a drink) after that it is hind milk (so more like food). So I would feed left side then left side again if she wanted feeding within 30 mins. Then the next time feed right side then right side again.

And as PP said she is cluster feeding to build up your supply. Can you express. It sounds a bit odd but I would sometimes try to express on the opposite breast whilst DD was feeding to try and up my milk production and also so I had some expressed milk to freeze. I did only get about 20 mls a time for the first few weeks.

Chardeemacdennis1 Wed 19-Dec-18 14:26:27

The constant feeding was fine I was expecting it. It was when she kept crying but refusing to eat. Then refusing to sleep.

She calmed down now and taken a feed. We think maybe she gorged herself getting the milk to come in and then got tummy ache.

I did express some as my boobs went really hard when she was refusing to eat.

I'll bare that in mind with the hind milk thing. I had been feeding 10 - 20 mins a side so maybe on some feeds the milk wasn't satisfying.

Shes calm now but still not really sleeping. Don't know why she's not exhausted, I am.

OP’s posts: |
MutantDisco Wed 19-Dec-18 17:23:14

Tiny babies feed CONSTANTLY. Their stomachs are small so they need a feed as soon as they've had one, plus she's trying to boost your supply.

DS1 spent 24 hours solidly on the boob on Christmas fgrin

SnuggyBuggy Wed 19-Dec-18 18:03:04

Also sometimes tiny babies struggle to latch when mums breasts are hard and engorged. I used to have to hand express in the early hours just to soften them enough to get baby DD to latch.

Chardeemacdennis1 Wed 19-Dec-18 19:42:05

She did her first (giant) poo. She's fed and sleeping now. We think she just ate too much and got runny ache. She seems OK now. Fingers crossed we have a better night tonight.

OP’s posts: |
BeautifulPossibilities Wed 19-Dec-18 20:30:14

All sounds normal.

Get through one feed then the next. Try her with your partner to settle so she can't smell milk. A sling is good for that. Look for early feeding cues.

Remember she is learning, you are learning and that you are built to so this.

I honestly could have packed it in for the first weeks. Horrible but I'm so glad I didn't. Fed until about 3.5.

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