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Probably going to get flamed for this...................but

(32 Posts)
fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 12:49:47

I'm seriously considering switching DS3 (now 1 month old) completely over to bottles.

We had a 'blip' with the breastfeeding about 1 week ago so gave him a few bottles as he wouldn't latch on (he was getting hysterical over it) since then he's improved again and latches on brilliantly (even on the right side which he's not really been interested even since he was born).

DH and I agreed to mix feed him, bottle just before bed, and another middle of the night - then I'd have him in bed with us when he woke early morning to breastfeed him - which has been working well. He still won't take a bottle properly from me (though we're getting there) but when he does he seems much more settled (whether it's just expressed breastmilk or formula) and is easier to put down for a sleep/nap.

I DO enjoy BF - especially early morning in bed with us, but tbh (and this is what I'll probably get most flamed for) I'm finding it a real drag during the day and early evening and somewhat starting to resent (not sure if that's quite the right word) it.

Also I was hoping to be able to express enough milk to be able to make his Formula feeds up 50/50 or perhaps enough for a complete feed but I'm only getting 2 or 3 oz out at a time (despite still soaking breastpads during the day).

DS1 was breastfed for 14 months, DS2 for 5 days and DS3 fully for 3 weeks, and about 1 1/2 weeks of mix feeding.

Has anyone else deliberately made the decision to stop breastfeeding this early despite having no problems with the breastfeeding???

Twiglett Mon 25-Jun-07 12:51:21

fannyannie before the pitchforks appear I have to say if you want to switch / mix feed then you should

I switched DS at 4 months because I wanted to

I bf DD till 11 months because I wanted to

RubberDuck Mon 25-Jun-07 12:54:20

Not had personal experience, but I'd have thought even one breast feed a day can make all the difference. I'd imagine that keeping the morning one you love should be easy enough and switch the rest to formula? (slowly obviously so your boobs cope and avoid the risk of mastitis).

I always think it's a shame when people stop because of problems (which can easily be solved), but no problem with when it's personal choice. I'd say though, if you enjoy the early morning one then keep that

compo Mon 25-Jun-07 12:55:50

I agree entirey with Twiglett.
You should not be in fear of being flamed, all you can do is what is right for you.

Desiderata Mon 25-Jun-07 12:58:03

There'll be no flaming from me.

I gave it up after six weeks ... and they were the longest six weeks of my life.

Do what you need to do to get you through the day.

fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 12:58:13

Thing is would I be able to do just one feed a day this early?? I know with DS1 by the time he was approaching 1yr old I was just doing a morning and evening feed (ie just 2 a day) and after 1yr it was just one evening feed a day until he was 14 months old so I know in theory my milk supply should 'adapt' to just the one a day - but is it too early, ie will my milk dry up (feels like a daft question ).

I do sort of feel guilty about even contemplating it, but at the same time I know that I've given him 4 weeks of breastfeeding, DS2 had virtually none, and DS1 got the best deal with 14 months 'exclusive' breastfeeding (he wouldn't even take ebm LOL) and both DS1 and 2 are happy healthy boys (actually DS1 was the one of the two of them that was the illest - chest infections everytime he got a cold etc etc).

RubberDuck Mon 25-Jun-07 13:02:53

What we need is tiktok

Doesn't bf become established at 6 weeks? Could you maybe hang on for 2 more weeks and then slowly drop to the one feed a day?

I would have thought that boobs adjust to the demand placed on them, but we really need tiktok about really to confirm that.

TootyFrooty Mon 25-Jun-07 13:03:10

No flaming from me either.

I struggled with bfeeding ds2 because he was a preemie and couldn't latch on. He was also pretty unwell for the first couple of weeks. I was so close to changing to formula but stuck with it because I had this guilt thing about having breastfed ds1 til 7 months and I knew I'd feel terrible if ds2 developed asthma or excema (both in my family) and ds1 didn't. I'd always blame it on my decision not to carry on breastfeeding. But that's mothers' guilt for you I guess.

I'm glad I stuck with it in the end but it's entirely your decision.

tiktok Mon 25-Jun-07 13:05:41

fanny, why would anyone flame you for this??

I actually feel quite upset when people make a defensive statement of this sort - you got a lot of supportive responses when you posted last week about your feeding challenges, people giving up their time and sharing experiences and information with you, and you clearly appreciated that....frankly, it's just puzzling to react to that by saying people on this same forum who offered you support will decide to flame you for deciding what feels best and most comfortable for you in your personal situation.

I don't think I have ever seen anyone flamed for making the decision to switch - why would it start with you?

If you decide to switch, you don't have to do it totally, or suddenly. One option would be to continue with the feeds you are happy with until they become untenable (because your milk will dwindle). There is a lot of family and emotional 'baggage' comes with feeding, however it's done - and I don't think you had the support at home that might have helped you overcome it, from what you said. Not your fault - and your own situation is for you to assess.

I hope no one thinks people get 'flamed' on mumsnet when talking about stopping breastfeeding, because they have seen your post. It would be shame for someone to then fear posting because of that

NotQuiteCockney Mon 25-Jun-07 13:05:53

From what I know, mixed feeding before six weeks often leads to people stopping bf earlier than they mean to. As things are now, with you not doing any of the nighttime feeds, I wouldn't be surprised if your supply wasn't entirely keeping up.

If you could bf a bit longer, and a bit more, then you'd probably have more choice in how much you carried on breastfeeding, and for how long.

Obviously, if you want to stop breastfeeding, that's entirely your choice, and nobody should give you any flack for it.

Roskva Mon 25-Jun-07 13:06:26

You've nothing to feel guilty about. If you continue doing something you don't really want to do, then you will end up resenting your baby. Do whatever works for you - a happy mum usually means a happy baby

tiktok Mon 25-Jun-07 13:08:12

rubberduck, you are right

But....

Breasts do adjust but you have to give them time to do so - breastmilk dwindles away on just one feed a day, unless it has become well-established over many, many months.

RubberDuck Mon 25-Jun-07 13:10:51

Thanks tiktok Makes sense.

BandofMuggles Mon 25-Jun-07 13:15:00

Do whatever you feel you want to without regard to what anyone tells you. It's your baby and your body.
DD2 used to camp on the boob all evening, and fed loads for the first couple months, maybe more, but it depends if you want to put up with it. It can be a real PITA. Esp if you have other children.
If you want to continue, then do. You could always just do a morning feed then bottles the rest of the time. Your body will get used to it after a while. Then he's still getting some of your milk, and if you like the idea of him having your milk and have the time expressing is great.

newgirl Mon 25-Jun-07 13:15:29

i was similar to you - i introduced some bottles and also breastfed - baby is a great big happy heffalump so no worries there!

do whatever works for you xxx

GameGirly Mon 25-Jun-07 13:16:37

Do what is best for you. Happy mummy = happy baby.

fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 13:21:07

Tiktok - what I meant was that perhaps some of the posters (none of who helped me last week) who like to make out that breastfeeding is the "only" way we should be feeding out babies may arrive and call me selfish and the like.

NCQ - before we switched to bottle at night DS3 was having a feed about 12-1am, woke for another around 3am and then again around 5.30am - he's still having a feed just before he has a bottle at 12ish (actually he's usually attached to my breasts permanently from 8pm-12pm LOL) so I'm actually only missing out on one complete feed.

I'm certainly not going to be able to stop straight away (whatever I decide) as DS3 is still adamant that he's going to "appear" to be taking formula from a bottle beautifully for me.........only for him to spit huge mouthfuls out everytime I take the bottle out of his mouth - meaning that most is going down the side of his neck and very little into his tummy.............I then offer him the breast and he clamps on like there's no tomorrow (as has just happened - he started crying after my last post so I went to try and give him a bottle - and he's now asleep - attached to my left breast.

fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 13:25:05

BandofMuggles - DS1 used to camp on my breast all day everyday until he was 4 months old LOL - so I'm quite used to that - AND he wouldn't take ebm from a bottle (or any other recepticle - sp - for that matter). DS1 was a complete nightmare when he was tiny - so DS3 is much easier in comparison...

DS3 does tend to "camp out" more later afternoon/early evening - which IS a pita - as DH works afternoons and evenings (leaves around lunchtime gets home about 9.30pm(ish) so I have to try and juggle feeding DS3 with cooking dinner (even if it's only a chuck in the oven one), bathing the DS's and getting them to bed on my own - which is hard - but doable - usually involves adjusting the sling so that DS3 can suckle while I'm pottering around - which results in a sore back as it means it's (the sling) isn't on straight !

katz Mon 25-Jun-07 13:25:15

you have to do whats best for you.

if you want to continue mix feeding and would like to give expressed bottles can i suggest the breast shells for your leaky times. I found shoving these in my bras whilst feeding or expressing of the side other resulted in an extra oz or 2 to add to the bottle. I also used to keep them in for a bit but you have to remember to remove them once full!!

Aero Mon 25-Jun-07 13:27:57

No flaming from me either - I did actually resent bfing a lot with ds2 as I had so many problems with feeding him (repeated blocked ducts and mastitis). I did, however, feed him for 15 mths because I thought I'd feel bad about stopping as I'd bf'd the other two with no real problems. The guilt I'd have felt would have been worse for me personally, than perservering, so I just got on with it, but, I just ended up dreading every feed. So what works for some doesn't work for all. I never want to bf again (which is ok as ds2 has completed our family)!

Anyway, aside from all that, how on earth did I miss that you'd actually given birth to ds3??????? and I'm guessing there's a thread, but I've not been on so much over the last few months as have been pre-occupied with building works etc. Congratulations to you all. What did you name him on the end? Feel free to point me in the direction of the thread.

fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 13:28:44

I did consider buying some breast shells (Tiktok suggested them in my thread last week) - but I don't seem to have 'set' leakytimes - ie I'll wake up in the middle of the night one time with a soaking bra (the breastpad having moved while I was sleeping) then next I won't, sometimes I 'drip' a little while feeding him, sometimes I don't! Knowing my luck I'd put them in - and not leak, and take them out - and start leaking - which could prove quite costly (I nearly fainted at how much they were in Boots! - or maybe I'm just a cheapskate ).

fannyannie Mon 25-Jun-07 13:30:44

lol Aero - there were 2 threads from me about DS3's birth (plus one about my ar*e! that someone else started - you have to look at the pictures on my profile for that to make sense ) - not sure where they are offhand - but yes I had Takunda Myles on the 24th May after a VERY quick labour ((for me).

tiktok Mon 25-Jun-07 13:34:39

fanny - not me who suggested breast shells! Though it's not a bad idea, and the cost would be cheaper than formula I do see your point about them leaking!!

I think the risk of being flamed for not fully breastfeeding is truly minimal on mumsnet, and I really wish you would acknowledge that, so people are not put off from posting.

In five or six years of being on here, I don't think I have ever seen anyone flamed for this, though there have been a handful of posts directly criticising women who don't try to breastfeed. A handful only!

Aero Mon 25-Jun-07 13:40:09

Lovely pics of your boys. re the last one. Great shot! I'm going thread hunting.

Lizzzombie Mon 25-Jun-07 13:41:32

I do one BF a day with my 5 month old. Have been doing this for nearly a month now. Did 2 x BF a day from 3 months onwards as BF makes me exhausted & drained of energy. It works for me. Good luck x

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